rachellep's review against another edition
5.0
This book was such a great read and I could not put it down. Wednesday Martin covered the topic of female infidelity in depth and her research was simply fascinating. I learned so much and this book kept my attention from beginning to end, it challenged a lot of the assumptions about women and what motivates them to cheat. Trust me on this, just read it!
maddness22's review against another edition
hopeful
informative
slow-paced
5.0
A very well researched and well executed work about polyamory and female sexuality! I thought it was very tasteful in presenting facts as they were and honoring all of the stories with great empathy and respect. It was well structured and I definitely have a new view about polyamory and female sexuality after finishing this book. My one complaint is that I feel like we didn't see enough of the alternative with research into why or how monogamy works, but the afterwards and conclusion really tie it up very nicely for me and address those lingering concerns.
kitty_kat21's review against another edition
4.0
An extremely validating read about an issue that in time will hopefully change the accepted expectations of marriage and long term partnerships. This paired with [b:Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality|7640261|Sex at Dawn The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality|Christopher Ryan|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1291105594l/7640261._SY75_.jpg|10168576], helps with understanding what it means to be human without judgement.
kennedydy's review against another edition
challenging
informative
slow-paced
4.0
i didn’t agree with everything in here, especially the views on cheating, but this is still such a great and important read that undos a lot of the backward thinking views our culture has when it comes to femme sexuality.
l particularly loved the chapter detailing the experiences of black women and how it differs from how non-black women are viewed/treated when it comes to sex. important nuance!
l particularly loved the chapter detailing the experiences of black women and how it differs from how non-black women are viewed/treated when it comes to sex. important nuance!
rubyseemorebooks's review against another edition
emotional
informative
inspiring
lighthearted
fast-paced
4.5
alexschreiber23's review against another edition
4.0
I really loved this book! Really opened my mind up to infidelity and the power women have to be sexual autonomous. However, the book was sometimes hard to follow with how long the sentences were. The concepts are complex though and have a lot of information to cover, but rereading it made me understand the concepts better. I really enjoyed learning the evolutionary concepts of female infidelity and the power women have in different cultures. I was very impressed and loved the underlying feminism message.
aw21594377's review against another edition
4.0
I found this book to be fascinating! I learned a ton about other primates' mating habits and how societal constraints on women make it nearly impossible to truly know how sexual desire would develop if we were really free. We've had to learn more about female sexual desire from studying other primates, such as bonobos, macaques, and langurs. I learned various factoids, like how bonobos are primarily female driven, to the point of harassing the males to have sex with them. Or how langurs (or maybe macaques?) are apathetic about sexual advances from the males when caged and when they're free, they act much more proactively interested, even instigate themselves.
I couldn't 100% get behind the theory that switching systems of farming are at the route of the systemic issues women face. I can see how it's a contributing factor, but I would've liked to have seen more about this to make the author convinced enough to make this essentially a sub-thesis.
While there have been studies and data on other species of primates, much of the data for humans were testimonials and anecdotal. I enjoyed reading about the prestigious Skirt Clubs, where women are completely free from the male gaze, free to explore their sexuality without the constraints of heterosexuality. Martin's argument that women have high libidos and seek out sex for their own enjoyment much more than we're told to believe was convincing to me, but probably because it was approached as "we can't truly ascertain hard data like we can for other species" so I was able to be more forgiving of the lack of "hard data". I guess I expected the "hard data" to be a little more substantiated, particularly the plough theory being the basis for an entire shift in how women are treated. At the same time, I enjoyed hearing about cultures where women have more power/say/buy in in society. I found myself feeling envious of the women and the freedom they seemed to feel. Not only was an iteration of poly more accepted, but the women in general seemed much less oppressed/restricted in their ability to feel love and sexual feelings for multiple people. America the great, my ass. I think the most amusing factoid from this book was that the first vibrator was the size of a dining room table.
Overall, I enjoyed slowly plodding through this, soaking up the information. It wasn't a perfect book, but I think questioning ideas should be part of reading non-fiction. This was also predominantly heteronormatively focused, which makes sense, but the intersectionalism with LGBTQ and more racial representation would've helped complicate some of the ideas. I get that the author probably didn't want to bite off more than she could chew, and I respect that. Maybe she'll publish more, or it's explored more in other published work by Martin.
I couldn't 100% get behind the theory that switching systems of farming are at the route of the systemic issues women face. I can see how it's a contributing factor, but I would've liked to have seen more about this to make the author convinced enough to make this essentially a sub-thesis.
While there have been studies and data on other species of primates, much of the data for humans were testimonials and anecdotal. I enjoyed reading about the prestigious Skirt Clubs, where women are completely free from the male gaze, free to explore their sexuality without the constraints of heterosexuality. Martin's argument that women have high libidos and seek out sex for their own enjoyment much more than we're told to believe was convincing to me, but probably because it was approached as "we can't truly ascertain hard data like we can for other species" so I was able to be more forgiving of the lack of "hard data". I guess I expected the "hard data" to be a little more substantiated, particularly the plough theory being the basis for an entire shift in how women are treated. At the same time, I enjoyed hearing about cultures where women have more power/say/buy in in society. I found myself feeling envious of the women and the freedom they seemed to feel. Not only was an iteration of poly more accepted, but the women in general seemed much less oppressed/restricted in their ability to feel love and sexual feelings for multiple people. America the great, my ass. I think the most amusing factoid from this book was that the first vibrator was the size of a dining room table.
Overall, I enjoyed slowly plodding through this, soaking up the information. It wasn't a perfect book, but I think questioning ideas should be part of reading non-fiction. This was also predominantly heteronormatively focused, which makes sense, but the intersectionalism with LGBTQ and more racial representation would've helped complicate some of the ideas. I get that the author probably didn't want to bite off more than she could chew, and I respect that. Maybe she'll publish more, or it's explored more in other published work by Martin.