Reviews tagging 'Toxic relationship'

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson

16 reviews

_fallinglight_'s review

challenging informative reflective medium-paced

2.0

Too much ableism to take seriously and it got increasingly repetitive that I felt I was not retaining anything by the end. It was revelatory though, that for all their faults, my parents were emotionally mature when it came to raising me and made me feel I mattered. Like my dad hits most of the emotionally immature, externalizer checklists (lol) but in general he was surprisingly attentive to me growing up and not in a manipulative way or anything like in some of the examples provided here. So I thought I was gonna end up trashing my parents but no, I'm actually surprised that they were PARENTS parents to me. Who knew? So my focus went on how this book is so ableist and dunks on neurodivergent people ridiculously a lot, why are people praising it so much? Also, when she starts describing externalizers vs. internalizers it felt like reading the horoscope and she kept referecing old, Cold War era studies. But after reading this part in the book, it's not surprising.

Human emotional immaturity has been studied for a long time. However, over the years it has lost ground to an increasing focus on symptoms and clinical diagnosis, using a medical disease model to quantify behaviors as illnesses suitable for insurance reimbursement. 

That sounds red flaggy to me idk. And to reach her hard set conclusions this dr. has to be super simplistic and conveniently ignores a bunch of social, racial, economic and mental factors. Like I don't pretend to know more than her but the book feels incomplete to me bc of that, but maybe I'm just talking out of my ass.

---

Content Warnings

Moderate: Ableism, Toxic relationship, and Emotional abuse

akvolcano's review against another edition

challenging emotional hopeful informative reflective slow-paced

4.5

Great book! Provided a lot of language to help articulate my experience. Had a lot realizations. Would recommend and would read again!

---

Content Warnings

Moderate: Transphobia, Suicidal thoughts, Violence, Abandonment, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Body shaming, Toxic relationship, Sexual assault, Confinement, Chronic illness, Death, Ableism, Alcohol, Sexual harassment, Pregnancy, Misogyny, Infidelity, Hate crime, Gaslighting, Emotional abuse, Drug use, Bullying, Stalking, Sexual violence, Sexism, Grief, Mental illness, Domestic abuse, Toxic friendship, Physical abuse, Panic attacks/disorders, and Injury/Injury detail

shima707's review against another edition

Disturbingly useful

---

Content Warnings

Minor: Toxic relationship, Child abuse, Abandonment, and Emotional abuse

malachinelson's review against another edition

challenging emotional hopeful informative inspiring reflective sad fast-paced

4.0

Informative book which describes emotionally immature parents, their children, their relationships, childhood and adult difficulties, remediation, and tools for success. Very hopeful and difficult book to read. 

I only wish that the book was longer and slower paced. It moves too quickly and lacks deep exploration of some issues. It is lacking on the intersection of emotional immaturity and race, gender, social class, etc.

I read it every few years as a way of checking in with my own personal development as I continually navigate relationships with parents and friends at various levels of emotional maturity.

---

Content Warnings

Moderate: Toxic relationship, Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Adult/minor relationship, and Toxic friendship

Minor: Drug abuse, Addiction, Homophobia, Misogyny, Suicide, Alcoholism, and Child abuse

stepnic's review against another edition

challenging emotional hopeful informative reflective medium-paced

5.0

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Gaslighting, and Toxic relationship

Moderate: Misogyny, Child abuse, Abandonment, Bullying, Domestic abuse, Grief, and Panic attacks/disorders

Minor: Alcoholism, Body shaming, Infidelity, and Addiction

basicbookstagrammer's review against another edition

informative inspiring reflective fast-paced

5.0

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Abandonment, Child abuse, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Panic attacks/disorders, Emotional abuse, and Gaslighting

johannarose's review against another edition

challenging emotional hopeful inspiring reflective medium-paced

4.5

---

Content Warnings

Moderate: Abandonment, Alcoholism, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Grief, Bullying, Toxic relationship, Adult/minor relationship, Physical abuse, and Child abuse

hann_smc's review against another edition

informative inspiring reflective medium-paced

3.5

This book is a great starting point for learning to recognize emotionally immature behaviors in your parents (and yourself!), but it is very much a starting point. If you have been on this journey for any length of time quite a bit of it becomes redundant. 
The beginning felt like it was leaning "blame all your issues on your parents, don't worry about taking accountability for anything" but later chapters did start to dive into ways to make changes in order to be more emotionally mature / attract emotionally mature people into your life which was good. 
It relies heavily on anecdotes, which sometimes can be interesting, but often they were very surface level and repetitive. 
Again, this book was very much for the start of the journey. If that's where I was then I do think this book would have been more eye-opening for me. As it was, I still did learn and it was able to inspire some soul searching on my part. Especially the later chapters.

---

Content Warnings

Minor: Gaslighting, Mental illness, Bullying, Child abuse, Drug abuse, Toxic relationship, Addiction, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Grief, Panic attacks/disorders, Abandonment, Alcoholism, and Physical abuse

jenlenry's review against another edition

challenging informative reflective medium-paced

4.25

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Toxic relationship and Emotional abuse

ccvanleuven's review against another edition

hopeful informative reflective medium-paced

4.75

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Mental illness, Adult/minor relationship, and Toxic relationship