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We Were Once a Family: A Story of Love, Death, and Child Removal in America by Roxanna Asgarian
augur01's review against another edition
4.5
Good critique of a broken system with great sensitivity taken towards the children involved and their birth families, whose stories often go untold when it comes to narratives of adoption and fostering.
Really loved how the writer formatted the book, starting with the family in question and then using that as a jumping off point to examine all the shortcomings of the systems that allowed the tragedy to occur. Also really loved the epilogue.
Really loved how the writer formatted the book, starting with the family in question and then using that as a jumping off point to examine all the shortcomings of the systems that allowed the tragedy to occur. Also really loved the epilogue.
kermitcaroline's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
sad
medium-paced
4.5
Great insights into the messed up processes of the child welfare system. Harrowing account of the murder of children who were failed by the system. Audio narration was very powerful
vacantbones's review
4.0
Both deeply interesting and deeply concerning. We Were Once a Family veers away from the standard true crime narrative by asking readers to consider the systemic failure running rampant in the United States. The argument at the heart of the book is strong and, while I don't necessarily agree with all of the finer points, the author clearly understands the pitfalls of the American child welfare system better than the average citizen. An important read.
heidilreads's review
4.0
Frustrating story that had so many moments that could have prevented the final outcome.
gibbsalot's review
4.5
I loved this read - informative while also being narrative and I’m not left w the icky feeling that most true crime gives me
sadietay's review
5.0
This book was remarkably well researched by long-term investigative journalist Roxanna Asgarian. It was heavy, but powerful and simply well done. It dives into the lives and murder of 6 adopted children: Hannah, Markis, Jeremiah, Abigail, Devonte, and Ciera. These bi-racial and Black children were killed by and with their adoptive white mothers: Sara and Jennifer Hart. The Hart parents had over 10 years of DCS abuse allegations and paraded their family on the internet as an example of love…going viral many times.
What makes this book so powerful was Asgarian’s approach in focusing on their biological families - with an in-depth look into the complicated and beautiful lives of these children’s parents, grandparents, family, friends, and community; as well as the deep history of child removal in the US (and more specifically the kids’ birth state of Texas).
We live in a society that shuns, punishes, and disregards biological families (even in cases where removal and adoption was absolutely needed). I’ve seen it through and through as a foster and adoptive mom by our society and the System.
I’m thankful for deep journalism like this to that sheds a light on systems as complicated as child welfare. l hope that it will shape our collective understanding of biological ties and navigating “raising other people’s kids” for the better.
What makes this book so powerful was Asgarian’s approach in focusing on their biological families - with an in-depth look into the complicated and beautiful lives of these children’s parents, grandparents, family, friends, and community; as well as the deep history of child removal in the US (and more specifically the kids’ birth state of Texas).
We live in a society that shuns, punishes, and disregards biological families (even in cases where removal and adoption was absolutely needed). I’ve seen it through and through as a foster and adoptive mom by our society and the System.
I’m thankful for deep journalism like this to that sheds a light on systems as complicated as child welfare. l hope that it will shape our collective understanding of biological ties and navigating “raising other people’s kids” for the better.
ameliasbooks's review against another edition
dark
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
medium-paced
4.5
Roxanna Asgarian’s *We Were Once a Family* offers an affecting and comprehensive look into the tragic story of the Hart family murders while shining a light on the systemic failures of the U.S. child welfare system. Rather than sensationalizing the crime or focusing on the adoptive mothers, Asgarian turns her attention to the true victims—the six adopted children and their biological families, whose lives were torn apart long before the horrifying deaths occurred.
One of the book's greatest strengths is its focus on the broader issues underlying this tragedy. Asgarian critiques a broken system that fails to provide adequate support to vulnerable families, particularly those from marginalized communities. The child welfare system, she argues, is not designed to solve the root causes of poverty and instability but is instead driven by racial bias, with a prevalent "white savior" mentality. The biological families of the children, mostly people of color, were repeatedly failed by institutions that seemed more interested in removing children from their homes than in providing the resources that could keep those families intact.
For readers unfamiliar with the U.S. child welfare system—particularly European readers—the book can feel overwhelming in its detailed analysis. However, this depth of information is essential for an American audience that needs to fully understand the systemic issues at play. Asgarian doesn’t just point to individual failures but to a larger pattern of neglect and exploitation built into the system itself.
The book is as devastating as it is informative, highlighting the human cost of a system driven by racist policies and a desire for quick, often harmful solutions. The stories of the biological families are heartbreaking and paint a clear picture of how institutional racism and economic inequality intersect to create such tragedies.
However, the book is not without its minor flaws. At times, there is noticeable repetition of certain details, which can give the impression that some chapters were originally published as standalone magazine articles. If this was the case, the book could have benefited from tighter editing to smooth these transitions and avoid redundancy. Despite this, Asgarian’s journalistic rigor and passion for the subject matter shine through, making this a crucial read.
In conclusion this book is a powerful and eye-opening investigation into a deeply flawed child welfare system. Though difficult to digest at times, it is an essential work that sheds light on the need for reform and justice for the victims and their families.
One of the book's greatest strengths is its focus on the broader issues underlying this tragedy. Asgarian critiques a broken system that fails to provide adequate support to vulnerable families, particularly those from marginalized communities. The child welfare system, she argues, is not designed to solve the root causes of poverty and instability but is instead driven by racial bias, with a prevalent "white savior" mentality. The biological families of the children, mostly people of color, were repeatedly failed by institutions that seemed more interested in removing children from their homes than in providing the resources that could keep those families intact.
For readers unfamiliar with the U.S. child welfare system—particularly European readers—the book can feel overwhelming in its detailed analysis. However, this depth of information is essential for an American audience that needs to fully understand the systemic issues at play. Asgarian doesn’t just point to individual failures but to a larger pattern of neglect and exploitation built into the system itself.
The book is as devastating as it is informative, highlighting the human cost of a system driven by racist policies and a desire for quick, often harmful solutions. The stories of the biological families are heartbreaking and paint a clear picture of how institutional racism and economic inequality intersect to create such tragedies.
However, the book is not without its minor flaws. At times, there is noticeable repetition of certain details, which can give the impression that some chapters were originally published as standalone magazine articles. If this was the case, the book could have benefited from tighter editing to smooth these transitions and avoid redundancy. Despite this, Asgarian’s journalistic rigor and passion for the subject matter shine through, making this a crucial read.
In conclusion this book is a powerful and eye-opening investigation into a deeply flawed child welfare system. Though difficult to digest at times, it is an essential work that sheds light on the need for reform and justice for the victims and their families.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Child abuse, Child death, Confinement, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Miscarriage, Physical abuse, Racism, Suicide, Forced institutionalization, Medical content, Grief, Medical trauma, Car accident, Murder, Pregnancy, Abandonment, and Classism