Reviews tagging 'Death'

We Were Once a Family: A Story of Love, Death, and Child Removal in America by Roxanna Asgarian

14 reviews

ameliasbooks's review against another edition

dark emotional informative reflective sad medium-paced

4.5

Roxanna Asgarian’s *We Were Once a Family* offers an affecting and comprehensive look into the tragic story of the Hart family murders while shining a light on the systemic failures of the U.S. child welfare system. Rather than sensationalizing the crime or focusing on the adoptive mothers, Asgarian turns her attention to the true victims—the six adopted children and their biological families, whose lives were torn apart long before the horrifying deaths occurred.

One of the book's greatest strengths is its focus on the broader issues underlying this tragedy. Asgarian critiques a broken system that fails to provide adequate support to vulnerable families, particularly those from marginalized communities. The child welfare system, she argues, is not designed to solve the root causes of poverty and instability but is instead driven by racial bias, with a prevalent "white savior" mentality. The biological families of the children, mostly people of color, were repeatedly failed by institutions that seemed more interested in removing children from their homes than in providing the resources that could keep those families intact.

For readers unfamiliar with the U.S. child welfare system—particularly European readers—the book can feel overwhelming in its detailed analysis. However, this depth of information is essential for an American audience that needs to fully understand the systemic issues at play. Asgarian doesn’t just point to individual failures but to a larger pattern of neglect and exploitation built into the system itself.

The book is as devastating as it is informative, highlighting the human cost of a system driven by racist policies and a desire for quick, often harmful solutions. The stories of the biological families are heartbreaking and paint a clear picture of how institutional racism and economic inequality intersect to create such tragedies.

However, the book is not without its minor flaws. At times, there is noticeable repetition of certain details, which can give the impression that some chapters were originally published as standalone magazine articles. If this was the case, the book could have benefited from tighter editing to smooth these transitions and avoid redundancy. Despite this, Asgarian’s journalistic rigor and passion for the subject matter shine through, making this a crucial read.

In conclusion this book is a powerful and eye-opening investigation into a deeply flawed child welfare system. Though difficult to digest at times, it is an essential work that sheds light on the need for reform and justice for the victims and their families.

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Addiction, Child abuse, Child death, Confinement, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Miscarriage, Physical abuse, Racism, Suicide, Forced institutionalization, Medical content, Grief, Medical trauma, Car accident, Murder, Pregnancy, Abandonment, and Classism

paperknotbooks's review

emotional informative reflective sad tense medium-paced

To be reviewed after BooktTube Prize concludes.

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Child death, Death, Domestic abuse, Racism, and Abandonment

A racial slur is used in the book once.

oworthyfool's review

challenging dark emotional informative sad fast-paced

5.0

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Addiction, Child abuse, Child death, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Emotional abuse, Genocide, Mental illness, Physical abuse, Racism, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Medical content, Grief, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Murder, Pregnancy, Cultural appropriation, Gaslighting, Abandonment, Injury/Injury detail, Classism, and Pandemic/Epidemic

Moderate: Ableism, Homophobia, Miscarriage, and Cultural appropriation

sjanke2's review

challenging dark informative sad fast-paced

5.0

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Child death, Death, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Physical abuse, Suicide, Grief, Car accident, Murder, Gaslighting, and Injury/Injury detail

kailey_reads's review

challenging emotional informative sad medium-paced

4.75

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Child death and Death

Moderate: Addiction, Child abuse, Racism, and Suicide attempt

Minor: Drug use, Physical abuse, Murder, and Pregnancy

imstephtacular's review

challenging dark emotional informative sad tense medium-paced

4.5

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Addiction, Child abuse, Death, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Racism, Toxic relationship, Violence, Medical content, Grief, Gaslighting, Injury/Injury detail, and Classism

Moderate: Ableism, Bullying, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Physical abuse, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Forced institutionalization, Police brutality, Suicide attempt, Death of parent, Murder, Pregnancy, Abandonment, Alcohol, and Pandemic/Epidemic

Minor: Gun violence, Homophobia, Infidelity, Miscarriage, Racial slurs, and Lesbophobia

whit_knee's review

4.75

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Child death, Death, Racism, and Death of parent

careinthelibrary's review

challenging dark emotional informative sad medium-paced

4.0

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Addiction, Child abuse, Child death, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Physical abuse, Racism, Forced institutionalization, Grief, Medical trauma, Murder, and Classism

Moderate: Confinement, Homophobia, Toxic relationship, and Lesbophobia

Minor: Suicide, Suicide attempt, and Pandemic/Epidemic

librarymouse's review

dark emotional informative sad fast-paced

4.0

This book is a thoughtful and informative exploration of the pitfalls of the American child welfare system, focusing on the extreme result of placing six children unjustly removed from their loving homes in the care of Jennifer and Sarah Hart. Asgarian explores the extreme and ingrained racism in the child welfare system, exploring the impact of it on the families of the children murdered by the Harts, their dedicated efforts to get them back and living with relatives, the judicial system that purposefully squandered their efforts, and the loopholes that allowed the Harts to adopt six children while being investigated for abuse and assault allegations.

In the epilogue of this book, Asgarian addresses her own tumultuous childhood, noting that because of her family's race and economic status, she never had to fear being removed from the support system made up of friends and relatives while she was in an abusive nuclear family. The generational impact of the removal of black children from loving, if imperfect homes, is still echoing through the families and the children who survive the startling volley of abuse hurled at them in institutions, foster homes, and group homes. Asgarian shines a light on this impact, probing readers to be aware of this world and its machinations.

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Child death, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug use, Mental illness, Miscarriage, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Racism, Self harm, Sexual content, Suicide, Forced institutionalization, Grief, Medical trauma, Suicide attempt, Murder, and Injury/Injury detail

Minor: Police brutality and Lesbophobia

kshertz's review

dark informative sad slow-paced

4.0

It’s definitely an informative read but it’s just really heavy. I feel like I went into it thinking I was just gonna hear about this one story of this one family and they are talked about a lot but this author really goes into the systems that create a family like this and while I find that to be super important it wasn’t as interesting. But I did learn a lot of information that I can use as a teacher when thinking about CPS and the bigger systems that play that cause harmful situation is for students. Definitely recommend if you’re in the mood for something really heavy.

---

Content Warnings

Moderate: Bullying, Child abuse, Child death, Death, Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, Torture, Toxic relationship, Violence, Grief, Medical trauma, Car accident, Death of parent, Murder, Lesbophobia, and Gaslighting