woolgatherer's review
emotional
reflective
sad
slow-paced
2.75
I'm not sure what I was hoping to get from this book, and I'm still not sure what I was supposed to get out of it. Dixon uses an essay form for her memoir, but I'm not sure if it fully worked. On the one hand, I really appreciated her reflections on loneliness, especially in the last few years, and personally for her, the way loneliness played out in her life. On the other hand, I'm struggling to figure out the outcome of this memoir-turned-essay collection. Some essays read precisely as such: essays. But others read more like diary entries, which, while there isn't anything wrong with this, I wasn't sure what Dixon wanted the reader to take away from her book at the end of the day.
I thought the first part of the memoir was much stronger than the other two parts, which started to stray away from this theme of loneliness (though it did come back with the final essay, "Auld Lang Syne"). I think the issue at hand was that the memoir was not particularly cohesive, which might be why I'm struggling to pinpoint the essence of this memoir, other than that it gestured toward loneliness.
I wouldn't say this was a mediocre read, but I think I was expecting more than what was given. I should also note that this is a rather heavy read, and if you're not in a great place mentally and emotionally, this might be a tough one to get through.
I thought the first part of the memoir was much stronger than the other two parts, which started to stray away from this theme of loneliness (though it did come back with the final essay, "Auld Lang Syne"). I think the issue at hand was that the memoir was not particularly cohesive, which might be why I'm struggling to pinpoint the essence of this memoir, other than that it gestured toward loneliness.
I wouldn't say this was a mediocre read, but I think I was expecting more than what was given. I should also note that this is a rather heavy read, and if you're not in a great place mentally and emotionally, this might be a tough one to get through.
Note: I received an ARC from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Grief
Moderate: Death
Minor: Suicidal thoughts, Alcohol, and Pandemic/Epidemic
emilyinherhead's review
emotional
reflective
sad
slow-paced
2.5
These essays are thoughtful and well-written, but goodness, they are bleak. Despite the collection’s short length, I often struggled to pick it up and keep reading, usually opting for whatever other book I was currently working through instead. When I finally finished it I felt truly depleted, with not much hope to be found.
My loneliness is deep. It's oddly comforting because I know what to expect. It's like a light switch—sudden and complete—when it rears its head. My body starts to wind down and my mind disengages. Loneliness and isolation have been a slow build of contentment over the years before the sudden revelation of how the two are really disconnect disguised as choice. How between parents, a sibling, family, and friends is always fear that I will die alone. That no one will remember me.
outoftheofficeagain's review
4.0
I read a large section of this book in the evening, alone for hours, with a high school football game raging in the background. I read until the sun was gone, and further on till the spotlights were not enough to penetrate the dark. I thought about the not-so-subtle juxtaposition of my my “aloneness” and the fact that I was reading The Loneliness Files. How apt. How sadly apt.
I wish I could quote specific passages, but as I always abide by the rules to never quote an arc, I’ll just assure you that the writing was both poignant and beautiful as well as lyrical and — often — concise. Athena Dixon is honest and vulnerable in these essays, and it’s striking. The parts I marked, specifically, contain exploration or acknowledgement of the ways in which those who suffer true loneliness face warring realities of wanting to be alone, but aching because of that aloneness. And sometimes, that truthfully, one doesn’t even want to be alone, only the world never quite feels comfortable. She talks about the crafting that goes into our online personas and identities. The strange discomfort of being comfortable as yourself but uncomfortable that you are not the prime version. It goes into things I have never heard anyone else explain, and I felt so painfully seen in the life and experience of another human being.
But this memoir, as no memoir should be, was not simply a vessel to explore myself… no. In fact she shared the unique experience of online dating, and deeper so, that reality when you are a Black woman. She discussed fandom and fan culture and the ways in which society dictates who has a voice there, with discrimination through race and age, gender and more. I also really loved that she discusses true crime and devastating news articles about people who die alone. I found it empathetically, carefully handled and really made me think deeper about my own choices and existence.
I highly recommend this one. It is absolutely phenomenal and a startling example of the difficulties, unseen, in the world. It may help you to understand your own reality… but it will create space for your to understand others. Not to mention, getting to know Athena through her own words was moving and inspiring and just, quit frankly, quite special.
Thank you so much to Tin House for providing me with an ARC. It has been such a gift! It’s out October 3, 2023! Preorder this! You’ll be glad you did.
I wish I could quote specific passages, but as I always abide by the rules to never quote an arc, I’ll just assure you that the writing was both poignant and beautiful as well as lyrical and — often — concise. Athena Dixon is honest and vulnerable in these essays, and it’s striking. The parts I marked, specifically, contain exploration or acknowledgement of the ways in which those who suffer true loneliness face warring realities of wanting to be alone, but aching because of that aloneness. And sometimes, that truthfully, one doesn’t even want to be alone, only the world never quite feels comfortable. She talks about the crafting that goes into our online personas and identities. The strange discomfort of being comfortable as yourself but uncomfortable that you are not the prime version. It goes into things I have never heard anyone else explain, and I felt so painfully seen in the life and experience of another human being.
But this memoir, as no memoir should be, was not simply a vessel to explore myself… no. In fact she shared the unique experience of online dating, and deeper so, that reality when you are a Black woman. She discussed fandom and fan culture and the ways in which society dictates who has a voice there, with discrimination through race and age, gender and more. I also really loved that she discusses true crime and devastating news articles about people who die alone. I found it empathetically, carefully handled and really made me think deeper about my own choices and existence.
I highly recommend this one. It is absolutely phenomenal and a startling example of the difficulties, unseen, in the world. It may help you to understand your own reality… but it will create space for your to understand others. Not to mention, getting to know Athena through her own words was moving and inspiring and just, quit frankly, quite special.
Thank you so much to Tin House for providing me with an ARC. It has been such a gift! It’s out October 3, 2023! Preorder this! You’ll be glad you did.
nordstina's review against another edition
reflective
slow-paced
3.0
The Loneliness Files is an innovative memoir tackling the topic of loneliness in some interesting ways. Several of the essays identify different women both real and fictional that Dixon finds herself relating to or fixating on. A woman died and was not discovered for three years and the author reflects on isolation and loneliness and compares herself to her. She also reflects on another women who dies at a supposedly haunted hotel. In fiction, she highlights the dual role that Lupita Nyong'o plays in Us and the duality she must maintain her life. Dixon also reflects on her dating life and what she wants in a relationship. At times I found this to be a bit unfocused- while the first part of the book appeared quite cohesive, I lost my way as the book continued and did not quite get what Dixon was trying to portray. I still appreciate the swing she took on this one- loneliness is a topic that could be explored more.
Thanks to Tin House for the advance reader copy in exchange for honest review.
Thanks to Tin House for the advance reader copy in exchange for honest review.
jessdekkerreads's review
I got about 33% of the way through this nonfiction, much anticipated book, however, I had a hard time finding the motivation to push through. I do think there is a particular audience that will relate and ultimately love this book, but that just isn’t me. I found it to read more like a diary, and less like a nonfiction with facts, and philosophical musings on loneliness. And that’s okay, that might not be the intention of it, and fully be me and my unrealistic reader expectations. I just wasn’t gaining much from this read, and so, with that, I’m going to set it aside. Thank you to TinHouse and NetGalley for the advanced copy of this book, I truly appreciate the opportunity.
ajchurch's review
4.5
How to explain this book, or rate it, or even talk about it? You know when something is so heart shattering that you immediately turn to all your loved ones and go “here, I can’t explain this, you just have to feel it too”? That’s where I’m at with this book. Athena Dixon talks about loneliness and grief, connection and love, and the pain of it all with so much intricacy that I repeatedly put this book down and thought “Wow. Wow wow wow.”
For example, when she said, “I am overwhelmingly lonely. And I cannot believe that doesn't matter and I will not believe there are not scores of others like me,” I realized there were scores of others like me too.
This book is something special. It's also clear by the end that it is in some ways a memorial to her and the grief she has felt making this extremely vulnerable on top of everything else it has going on. This was really something and I am so grateful to have A.) found out about this book from Hanif Abdurraqib’s Instagram and B.) been given the opportunity to read this ARC (thanks Tin House!)