Reviews tagging 'Dysphoria'

Paul Takes The Form Of A Mortal Girl by Andrea Lawlor

9 reviews

librarymouse's review against another edition

adventurous dark emotional sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

What an odd book. Paul is a strange, yet often lovely character. His hedonism was off putting at first, and I initially had a hard time reconciling my enjoyment of the writing with my dislike of Paul, but the further the novel progressed, the more sympathetic of a character Paul became. Paul's experience of gender and the way Lawlor represents that on the page is something unique and special. It shows the ways in which we try and fail and try again to externally represent our interior experiences of selfhood, but made magical in its visibility. Similarly, Paul's struggles to maintain expression of exclusively male or female features at different points throughout the novel, in order to fulfil the desires of someone else felt so real and exemplary of the struggle between external expression and internal experience when trying to find an aesthetic that feels comfortable as someone who doesn't feel that either gender fits quite right. I think I liked the consistent use of "he" as Paul's pronouns despite his spending a large portion of the novel as a girl. I think it's an interesting comment, again, on the way selfhood is experienced, but also for the idea that gender expression doesn't necessarily equate to gender identity/experience. However, I can understand the critiques of the use of "he" exclusively as falling into the pitfalls of gender essentialism. It's a very narrow line.

Paul being made a more sympathetic character for me, comes to fruition as he finally flashes back to when and why he chose to leave New York for the Midwest after the boy he loved and left; and to whom he always assumed he'd return to at some point, dies of HIV/AIDS before Paul works up the courage to call him back. The slips of memories of the friends and lovers there one day and gone the next, blurry around the edges with grief and the rapidity of their deaths offer an alternative lens through which to view Paul's escape and the risks he's willing to take, thinking he's found a safe place where illness can't take those he cares for. While it's never quite clear whether or not he can get HIV/AIDS, the risks he takes after his love's death take on a nihilistic tone, ready and willing to put himself in danger for the thrill of it. Behind the hedonism, there's such raw and tender humanity.

At the start I almost DNF'd this book. After some post-reading contemplation, this is a 5 star read,

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Alcoholism, Death, Hate crime, Homophobia, Infidelity, Mental illness, Sexism, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Violence, Blood, Excrement, Medical content, Grief, Alcohol, and Sexual harassment

Moderate: Biphobia, Body horror, Drug use, Lesbophobia, and Pandemic/Epidemic

Minor: Dysphoria

sharmaynereads's review against another edition

adventurous funny mysterious slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Homophobia, Sexual content, Terminal illness, Transphobia, and Dysphoria

kmartro's review against another edition

challenging funny lighthearted medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.25

Incredibly hard read for me, it is full of consistent specific music and book references that I, as someone who did not live through the 90's queer scene, did not get at all. I found myself skimming often when it got particularly dense.

I liked reading Paul but didn't like him. I thought the author might do something developmental with him realizing he's too agreeable but he ends the same way he starts.

Even though Paul is a shape-shifter and he moves through queer communities as both sexes, his inner monologue is still that of a gay man, I wouldn't recommend this book to anyone looking for the cis-lesbian experience specifically.

The smut was sharp and to the point, it doesn't stay long. Overall glad I read it, but I don't think I'll be rereading it.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Drug use and Sexual content

Moderate: Alcoholism and Dysphoria

Minor: Death, Vomit, Stalking, Outing, Classism, and Pandemic/Epidemic

pkc's review against another edition

funny mysterious medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? No

3.25

I think any book that gives me so much frustration around the central protagonist will always be annoying and I’ll find it challenging. The premise was wild and the prose was funny in places, but there was little to no character development so I’d say that’s something to bear in mind as you undertake this one.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Sexual content, Toxic relationship, and Dysphoria

Moderate: Drug use and Alcohol

laurataylor's review against another edition

emotional reflective sad slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

2.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Addiction, Animal cruelty, Body shaming, Drug use, Sexual content, Terminal illness, Abandonment, Alcohol, and Dysphoria

levtitticus's review against another edition

adventurous emotional funny hopeful inspiring medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Drug use, Sexual content, and Alcohol

Moderate: Homophobia, Infidelity, Toxic relationship, Grief, Toxic friendship, and Dysphoria

Minor: Addiction, Alcoholism, Drug abuse, Mental illness, Violence, Vomit, Medical content, Outing, Sexual harassment, and Injury/Injury detail

iheartm4m's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional funny mysterious sad slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.25

This book has a lot of potential but Lawlor takes gender identity and sexuality to a literal and physical form that feels necessary for some of the plot but not all. the book pointed to understanding the world through different lenses (girl, woman, man, beta, alpha, lesbian, bisexual) and how a person that has flowed through the gender/sexuality spectrum can and will expirience these situations portrayed in the book throughout their younger years. 
This can be eye opening for those who are are cis/het/certain in their sexuality/gender, but for those who have always fell through the cracks when it comes to identity, this book is a bit obvious. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Alcoholism, Cursing, Death, Homophobia, Racial slurs, Racism, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, Grief, Stalking, Alcohol, Sexual harassment, and Dysphoria

Moderate: Biphobia, Body shaming, Chronic illness, Deadnaming, Sexual assault, Xenophobia, Gaslighting, and Classism

Minor: Addiction, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Hate crime, Infidelity, Mental illness, Misogyny, Blood, Lesbophobia, Toxic friendship, and Abandonment

noahsingh's review against another edition

medium-paced

• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes

5.0

so so good, instant new favourite book. feel weirdly intensely grateful to Andrea Lawlor as a fellow trans person. can't actually express how much reading this meant to me as a trans bi guy, so nice to be able to read a coming-of-age-esque book with a character whose actually relatable to me as a queer trans person and really just can't wait to read whatever Lawlor writes next. love the fantasy bits intertwined with Paul/Polly's story and all the pretentious references and that the book ends so openly, but with the protagonist young, happy and living Queer life to the fullest, love that for him/her/them.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Sexual assault

Moderate: Animal cruelty, Deadnaming, Death, Drug use, Homophobia, Sexism, Toxic relationship, Transphobia, Grief, Alcohol, and Dysphoria

jameslyons's review against another edition

adventurous funny lighthearted slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Alcoholism, Body horror, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, Toxic friendship, and Alcohol

Moderate: Death, Transphobia, Vomit, and Grief

Minor: Animal cruelty, Terminal illness, Lesbophobia, and Dysphoria