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catladyofurnightmares's review against another edition
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
3.75
I did like the book, although I dont fully agree with everything the author is writing about how being alone and people preferring their own company ONLY are not a problem.
I think it would be problematic if everyone was solely looking out for themselves and being by themselves... in fact, I think that many global problems have arisen by people just thinking about their own well-being anr never broadening their horizons to other ways of seeing and doing things...?
But still, I like her writing on self-reliance and self-love and how she's pointing out that other's approval and/or aftection doesnt or shouldnt have to be all that important.
I think it would be problematic if everyone was solely looking out for themselves and being by themselves... in fact, I think that many global problems have arisen by people just thinking about their own well-being anr never broadening their horizons to other ways of seeing and doing things...?
But still, I like her writing on self-reliance and self-love and how she's pointing out that other's approval and/or aftection doesnt or shouldnt have to be all that important.
svnn's review against another edition
funny
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
2.5
This book had more than a few nuggets of wisdom and introduced me to some beautiful quotes and stories to dig further into. The chapters I found most interesting were advertising, religion, and environment. Some bits were a bit of a slog to get through but overall the information was interesting and affirming as a self described loner and eccentric.
kbidd505's review against another edition
3.0
i havent related to anything as much as this and im still in the introduction of the book help
sidewriter's review against another edition
2.0
Bitter much? I have some loner tendencies and was ready to relate. I expected a manifesto touting the glories of being a loner, the reasons it's awesome, etc., but mostly this is the author's chance to rant about how much she hates non-loners for being so stupid and mean and wrong. There are insightful gems and some interesting historical commentary, but they're buried in self-indulgence. Being a loner means sincerely enjoying yourself, and often eschewing the company of others, but it doesn't have to mean misandry. I quit reading in the middle and decided to wait for Quiet: The Secret Power of Introverts to come out in paperback.
russellrd's review against another edition
2.0
Waste of time, waste of money, could not finish it. Everything I read in this book seems aimed at making lonely people feel better about themselves and praising anyone who may be a loner. Felt very bitter.
jrobles76's review against another edition
5.0
I am a loner. Thanks to this book, I'm no longer ashamed to say it. I told a friend that and her response was "awww" as if she was sad for me. I responded (humorously) "that's exactly the type of prejudice this book is trying to fight!"
Loners are very misunderstood, and as Party of One points out, it is a bit the media's fault. Every time someone commits some heinous crime, they immediately call him a loner. Ms. Rufus creates a clear distinction between loners (who wish to be left alone) and outcasts (those who wish they had friends but don't). Crimes are generally committed by those who want to be part of the crowd, but due to mental illness, or poor social skills, etc, just aren't accepted. Serial killers get labeled loners as well, but the book reveals that most had many friends and were well liked.
The thing about being a loner is not that we don't have friends or relationships, it's that we just prefer our own company. In an extremely social society, this simply isn't tolerated. The friends we have usually understand this. We also choose friends very carefully. When telling another friend about this book, she revealed that she is a loner as well, and just got into a relationship with loner. This is one of the many reason she and I are good friends, even if we only talk once a week, or hang out once a month. We're both OK with that.
The moment the book really got me was on page 69 when Anneli Rufus wrote, "Shared time, while not entirely wasted if the sharer is a true friend, must be parceled out with care, like rationed flour ... And time shared, even with true friends, often requires loners to put in extra time alone, overtime, to recharge." This is me. I love going out to drink with friends, but after, I stay up an almost equal amount of time, just to have to myself.
I am not alone (Ha Ha), there are others like me. We are a community that never meets, or meets accidentally. This book is a must read for those who are loners, to see that it is in fact the world that is weird. And a "must gift" book to all our friends who are nonloners, so they will understand us better, and not take it so personally that we are OK talking only once every month.
Loners are very misunderstood, and as Party of One points out, it is a bit the media's fault. Every time someone commits some heinous crime, they immediately call him a loner. Ms. Rufus creates a clear distinction between loners (who wish to be left alone) and outcasts (those who wish they had friends but don't). Crimes are generally committed by those who want to be part of the crowd, but due to mental illness, or poor social skills, etc, just aren't accepted. Serial killers get labeled loners as well, but the book reveals that most had many friends and were well liked.
The thing about being a loner is not that we don't have friends or relationships, it's that we just prefer our own company. In an extremely social society, this simply isn't tolerated. The friends we have usually understand this. We also choose friends very carefully. When telling another friend about this book, she revealed that she is a loner as well, and just got into a relationship with loner. This is one of the many reason she and I are good friends, even if we only talk once a week, or hang out once a month. We're both OK with that.
The moment the book really got me was on page 69 when Anneli Rufus wrote, "Shared time, while not entirely wasted if the sharer is a true friend, must be parceled out with care, like rationed flour ... And time shared, even with true friends, often requires loners to put in extra time alone, overtime, to recharge." This is me. I love going out to drink with friends, but after, I stay up an almost equal amount of time, just to have to myself.
I am not alone (Ha Ha), there are others like me. We are a community that never meets, or meets accidentally. This book is a must read for those who are loners, to see that it is in fact the world that is weird. And a "must gift" book to all our friends who are nonloners, so they will understand us better, and not take it so personally that we are OK talking only once every month.
ellaleec's review against another edition
2.0
I get it, being a loner sucks. I didn’t need 200+ pages of lamenting over the burdens of being an introvert.