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A review by sally
I'm a Fan by Sheena Patel
challenging
dark
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? N/A
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
Cool first book.
I feel like the author executed her intention perfectly, but it's just a book you suffer through reading.
It made me so angry, at the main character, at the manipulative avoidant man, at the sociopathic instagram influencer other woman, all of them. It made me angry at the systems that reward people in power and only humanize them. I got mad about all the cognitive dissonance it takes to function in this liberal society which says one thing and does another. It made me angry about how little people can grow, how much they can victimize themselves, even though they are intelligent people. The main character is amazingly self aware and has biting analysis of class, power, race structures. She will turn around and then do something completely pathological. It's like she has multiple personalities, she has so much deep inner fragmentation.
Something that has really concerned me reading any mainstream book reviews of this one is the lack of accountability for the main character. Every reviewer in the Guardian or the NYTimes just wants to harp on how the bad man who won't love her is bad, and how the racial analysis is interesting.
There's no mention of how absolutely mental the main character is. She is physically abusive. She is a liar. She has a massive death drive for herself and everyone around her. She is only empathic by accident of projection, or to get something from someone.
A dangerous part of this book is how it reinforces the narrative that pathologies are permanent. Maybe this functions a bit as a horror story of what happens if you don't change anything, if you are too attached to watching your back and looking out for yourself and rejecting your agency.
However, every book can't be about self development and healing or books would be predictable and boring.
But christ, the fact that no one is calling out this completely toxic straight girl in the mainstream book reviews, instead blaming this toxic straight man she picks explicitly to hurt herself, frightens me. It's like the mainstream culture isn't ready to acknowledge toxic victimhood complexes if they come from an empathetic identity. Ignoring the main character's obvious issues and failings writes off her character's capacity for growth, her humanity.
As I read this, I kept wondering how much of this story and character was part of the author, vs a thought exercise, because the prose definitely feels like the author's.
I feel like the author executed her intention perfectly, but it's just a book you suffer through reading.
It made me so angry, at the main character, at the manipulative avoidant man, at the sociopathic instagram influencer other woman, all of them. It made me angry at the systems that reward people in power and only humanize them. I got mad about all the cognitive dissonance it takes to function in this liberal society which says one thing and does another. It made me angry about how little people can grow, how much they can victimize themselves, even though they are intelligent people. The main character is amazingly self aware and has biting analysis of class, power, race structures. She will turn around and then do something completely pathological. It's like she has multiple personalities, she has so much deep inner fragmentation.
Something that has really concerned me reading any mainstream book reviews of this one is the lack of accountability for the main character. Every reviewer in the Guardian or the NYTimes just wants to harp on how the bad man who won't love her is bad, and how the racial analysis is interesting.
There's no mention of how absolutely mental the main character is. She is physically abusive. She is a liar. She has a massive death drive for herself and everyone around her. She is only empathic by accident of projection, or to get something from someone.
A dangerous part of this book is how it reinforces the narrative that pathologies are permanent. Maybe this functions a bit as a horror story of what happens if you don't change anything, if you are too attached to watching your back and looking out for yourself and rejecting your agency.
However, every book can't be about self development and healing or books would be predictable and boring.
But christ, the fact that no one is calling out this completely toxic straight girl in the mainstream book reviews, instead blaming this toxic straight man she picks explicitly to hurt herself, frightens me. It's like the mainstream culture isn't ready to acknowledge toxic victimhood complexes if they come from an empathetic identity. Ignoring the main character's obvious issues and failings writes off her character's capacity for growth, her humanity.
As I read this, I kept wondering how much of this story and character was part of the author, vs a thought exercise, because the prose definitely feels like the author's.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Toxic relationship and Abandonment