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A review by bookishpip
The Grief Handbook: A Guide Through the Worst Days of Your Life by Bridget McNulty
5.0
‘What’s the story of your love, rather than the story of your grief?’
I was granted early access to this book courtesy of NetGalley - thank you! - and it was the book I didn’t realise I needed. This is a journal-cum-memoir that explains the many complexities of grief, through snapshots from professionals, reflection exercises and personal anecdotes from the author (who sadly lost her mum).
Throughout the pandemic, I lost 4 people I loved - most notably my father, under traumatic circumstances - and this book has been extremely helpful in helping me to pinpoint the emotions I felt at the time, and those that I continue to experience now, months later. What I found particularly helpful was the discussion around ‘complicated grief’ - grief which, for whatever reason, is disrupted (for me, the pandemic and having very recently started a new job had consequences that I am still unpicking). I wish that I’d had this book to read and work through in those first few days and months.
I don’t often read self-help books but this one jumped out at me. Perhaps an unconscious part of me knew it was necessary to delve into those painful places.
What I loved most about this book was the emphasis of non-judgement throughout. Everyone grieves differently and the non-linear nature of it is frequently referenced. It felt like a safe space in which to explore those emotions. What also helped was having the personal accounts of the author to also refer to; I found myself completely empathising with everything she said (especially the terrible wave of grief seven months later - a place I’m at currently!) Our situations were so different, but in many ways very much similar too, which is so comforting. Grief is an unfortunate eventuality for all of us; it is common, despite how alienating it can feel at its darkest points.
Overall, I’d recommend this to anyone who has experienced a close personal bereavement. However, I think this is also good for those with someone close to them going through a bereavement; addressing well-meaning but ultimately harmful adages (such as anything beginning with ‘at least’, as beautifully and concisely worded in here) provides a helpful tool for those wanting to comfort others in their times of need.
I was granted early access to this book courtesy of NetGalley - thank you! - and it was the book I didn’t realise I needed. This is a journal-cum-memoir that explains the many complexities of grief, through snapshots from professionals, reflection exercises and personal anecdotes from the author (who sadly lost her mum).
Throughout the pandemic, I lost 4 people I loved - most notably my father, under traumatic circumstances - and this book has been extremely helpful in helping me to pinpoint the emotions I felt at the time, and those that I continue to experience now, months later. What I found particularly helpful was the discussion around ‘complicated grief’ - grief which, for whatever reason, is disrupted (for me, the pandemic and having very recently started a new job had consequences that I am still unpicking). I wish that I’d had this book to read and work through in those first few days and months.
I don’t often read self-help books but this one jumped out at me. Perhaps an unconscious part of me knew it was necessary to delve into those painful places.
What I loved most about this book was the emphasis of non-judgement throughout. Everyone grieves differently and the non-linear nature of it is frequently referenced. It felt like a safe space in which to explore those emotions. What also helped was having the personal accounts of the author to also refer to; I found myself completely empathising with everything she said (especially the terrible wave of grief seven months later - a place I’m at currently!) Our situations were so different, but in many ways very much similar too, which is so comforting. Grief is an unfortunate eventuality for all of us; it is common, despite how alienating it can feel at its darkest points.
Overall, I’d recommend this to anyone who has experienced a close personal bereavement. However, I think this is also good for those with someone close to them going through a bereavement; addressing well-meaning but ultimately harmful adages (such as anything beginning with ‘at least’, as beautifully and concisely worded in here) provides a helpful tool for those wanting to comfort others in their times of need.