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A review by mrchance
Takedown Twenty by Janet Evanovich
4.0
I'm surprised how much I enjoyed Takedown Twenty, considering it's very Ranger-heavy and there's a "feral giraffe" on the loose. It managed to avoid becoming completely absurd, even though there were plenty of opportunities for it to fall apart that way.
There's basically one bare bones plot in this one. Stephanie is helping Ranger investigate the murders of some of the Burg's harmless senior-citizen ladies. Along the way, she's after a few FTAs, like Morelli's uncle Sunny, a mob boss, and a heavily armed gang member. Each FTA ends up being surprisingly dangerous.
To investigate the senior murders, Lula and Stephanie play Bingo with Grandma Mazur. Stephanie buys four Bingo cards; Grandma buys twelve; and Lula tries to play thirty. It doesn't go well and she ends up in a physical altercation with a senior citizen. This part of the book is very realistic.
Ranger felt human in this one and I... I... I actually kind of liked him.
Along the way, Stephanie's muffler falls off, she has to wear Grandma's track suit (which reminds me of Aunt Sassy's), and she gets a slow cooker, which she uses to hold Rex while she cleans his cage. Stephanie dreams of domestic bliss, and I actually really enjoyed the wild family scene with Morelli, even if it did scare Stephanie off.
Lula wants a fancy purse, and she plans on going back to ho-ing to get it. "These bags are real classy. These bags are ladies' bags. There's no rule saying a lady can't do a BJ." Unfortunately, it's hard being a ho' with the economy in the toilet. "There were no good corners left. I've never seen so many hookers. They're all over the place. How's a professional supposed to compete in the marketplace." Plus the men try to pay with food stamps. I really enjoyed this brief glimpse into the hassles of sex work in a recession.
Both the FTAs are awfully dangerous. Some of the things that happen to Stephanie really shocked me! She gets and she shoots a guy . She always waffles back and forth about quitting her bounty hunter job and getting a "real" job (like putting maxi pads into a box), but because of what happens to her in this book, I actually believed her.
She ends up with a part-time job at the butcher's, but she's too squeamish to handle all the meat. The butcher is presented as a potential love interest by Stephanie's mom, but of course he's too fat and gross and ruddy-skinned for Stephanie, even though they're practically the same person. He's just as goofy and ridiculous as Stephanie is, and I wish they had least became friends. I miss Stephanie's friends. I feel like I haven't seen Mooner in a while.
Favorite quotes and scenes:
Lula, to Stephanie in a wig: "You don't look like yourself at all. You look like you'd be a lot of fun."
Stephanie: "How do you know it's giraffe poop?"
Lula: "I saw a giraffe taking a poop on YouTube. Once you see giraffe poop, you don't forget it."
Lula: "You know nothing. You're nothing but a skank-ass, pencil-dick hemorrhoid. And you smell like anal leakage."
FTA: "Say what?"
Lula: "Anal leakage. It's when your anal leaks. And it don't smell good."
Stephanie: "I thought we'd check out all the businesses on the list and see if anything strikes us as odd."
Lula: "You mean like some fool standing behind the counter, counting out his newfound money, holding a Venetian blind cord?"
Lula: "You know what the first thing I'd have a cleaning lady do? Baseboards. Most people would probably say the toilet, but not me. It'd be baseboards.
Stephanie: I wasn't sure if my apartment even had baseboards.
There were three men playing Bingo. Two were a gay couple who were probably in their seventies. It was hard to judge their exact sage because they were Botoxed, exfoliated, and moisturized, and had skin like a baby's bottom. Gordon Krutch was the third man,. He was in his seventies, but without the benefits of gaydom his face looked like a road map of Newark.
Ranger: "Babe, you need to make some decisions."
Stephanie: "I made decisions. I'm just having a hard time sticking to them."
There's basically one bare bones plot in this one. Stephanie is helping Ranger investigate the murders of some of the Burg's harmless senior-citizen ladies. Along the way, she's after a few FTAs, like Morelli's uncle Sunny, a mob boss, and a heavily armed gang member. Each FTA ends up being surprisingly dangerous.
To investigate the senior murders, Lula and Stephanie play Bingo with Grandma Mazur. Stephanie buys four Bingo cards; Grandma buys twelve; and Lula tries to play thirty. It doesn't go well and she ends up in a physical altercation with a senior citizen. This part of the book is very realistic.
Ranger felt human in this one and I... I... I actually kind of liked him.
Along the way, Stephanie's muffler falls off, she has to wear Grandma's track suit (which reminds me of Aunt Sassy's), and she gets a slow cooker, which she uses to hold Rex while she cleans his cage. Stephanie dreams of domestic bliss, and I actually really enjoyed the wild family scene with Morelli, even if it did scare Stephanie off.
Lula wants a fancy purse, and she plans on going back to ho-ing to get it. "These bags are real classy. These bags are ladies' bags. There's no rule saying a lady can't do a BJ." Unfortunately, it's hard being a ho' with the economy in the toilet. "There were no good corners left. I've never seen so many hookers. They're all over the place. How's a professional supposed to compete in the marketplace." Plus the men try to pay with food stamps. I really enjoyed this brief glimpse into the hassles of sex work in a recession.
Both the FTAs are awfully dangerous. Some of the things that happen to Stephanie really shocked me! She gets
Spoiler
thrown off a bridgeSpoiler
but the gun's kickback breaks her noseShe ends up with a part-time job at the butcher's, but she's too squeamish to handle all the meat. The butcher is presented as a potential love interest by Stephanie's mom, but of course he's too fat and gross and ruddy-skinned for Stephanie, even though they're practically the same person. He's just as goofy and ridiculous as Stephanie is, and I wish they had least became friends. I miss Stephanie's friends. I feel like I haven't seen Mooner in a while.
Favorite quotes and scenes:
Lula, to Stephanie in a wig: "You don't look like yourself at all. You look like you'd be a lot of fun."
Stephanie: "How do you know it's giraffe poop?"
Lula: "I saw a giraffe taking a poop on YouTube. Once you see giraffe poop, you don't forget it."
Lula: "You know nothing. You're nothing but a skank-ass, pencil-dick hemorrhoid. And you smell like anal leakage."
FTA: "Say what?"
Lula: "Anal leakage. It's when your anal leaks. And it don't smell good."
Stephanie: "I thought we'd check out all the businesses on the list and see if anything strikes us as odd."
Lula: "You mean like some fool standing behind the counter, counting out his newfound money, holding a Venetian blind cord?"
Lula: "You know what the first thing I'd have a cleaning lady do? Baseboards. Most people would probably say the toilet, but not me. It'd be baseboards.
Stephanie: I wasn't sure if my apartment even had baseboards.
There were three men playing Bingo. Two were a gay couple who were probably in their seventies. It was hard to judge their exact sage because they were Botoxed, exfoliated, and moisturized, and had skin like a baby's bottom. Gordon Krutch was the third man,. He was in his seventies, but without the benefits of gaydom his face looked like a road map of Newark.
Ranger: "Babe, you need to make some decisions."
Stephanie: "I made decisions. I'm just having a hard time sticking to them."