A review by sarahmatthews
My Phantoms by Gwendoline Riley

tense medium-paced

My Phantoms by Gwendoline Riley

Read on audio 

Narrator: Helen McAlpine

Granta Books

Pub. 2021, 208pp

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This has to be the best audio narration I’ve heard all year! It’s the story of Bridget and the relationship with her family, most notably her mother, Helen (known as Hen), who can be a difficult person to connect with. The narrator shifts seamlessly between accents, bringing these distinctive characters alive and helping the reader  feel the impact of the complex feelings expressed in this story.

There’s agonising tension and miscommunication and an unwillingness on both sides to lay bare difficult feelings for fear of damaging a fragile relationship permanantly.

Bridget narrates the story, and you feel the pressure she’s under to keep contact even when it’s incredibly fraught, awkward and painful. There was certainly fault on both sides for the distant relationship, with Bridget being unwilling to let her mother too close, for reasons we never quite get to. 

Hen is a character who on the surface appears outgoing and forceful but is shown to struggle deeply with relationships and can’t find fulfilment in her life, though at times she really tries:

“‘I’m putting myself out there’ she told me, and ‘You’ve got to be in it to win it. I’m pursuing my own interests’ she said, quoting the advice routinely given for meeting like-minded people.”

Later on they’re meeting for their annual dinner and conversation is horribly strained:

“If there was something going on in the news I could try that, but there too she would resist being put on the spot. And sometimes, as when I was little, she simply didn’t reply at all. She only smiled and stayed very still, or else just said ‘yes, yes”, or ‘no, yes” while straightening her cutlery. And then she was back to looking at me, waiting happily for my next gambit.”

Some of these exchanges are on the edge of being funny for their toe-curling awkwardness and reminded me of conversations I’ve had with people who’re just on a totally different wavelength to me, and, wow, those silences can be excruciating!

As the narrative developed my feelings towards the characters shifted and I adore fiction that does this to me so subtly, creating a sense of unease.

A truly unforgettable read.