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A review by emizulu
Hurts So Good: The Science and Culture of Pain on Purpose by Leigh Cowart
Did not finish book. Stopped at 29%.
I couldn't get past the author's thesis, in which they incorrectly imply that all bdsm/kink related masochism is sexual, and that we have to go outside of this community for examples of non-sexual masochism. The tone of the writing is that of someone coming from a place of expertise/authority, so unfortunately I found this undercut my ability to trust in them as an author right out of the gate.
Furthermore, I take issue with their claim that the ballet experiences outlined in the book were masochistic instead of abusive. They clearly outline a definition for masochism that mandates consent, but when the author started ballet, they were a child and unable to consent. They were then raised in an abusive ballet culture (as explicitly detailed in-book), which again raises questions as to whether we can unquestioningly accept their adult consent at face value.
This lack of nuance/introspection, coupled with the author's failed attempt to write this book from a place of expertise, made it a real struggle to finish. I gave myself the gift of not having to.
Furthermore, I take issue with their claim that the ballet experiences outlined in the book were masochistic instead of abusive. They clearly outline a definition for masochism that mandates consent, but when the author started ballet, they were a child and unable to consent. They were then raised in an abusive ballet culture (as explicitly detailed in-book), which again raises questions as to whether we can unquestioningly accept their adult consent at face value.
This lack of nuance/introspection, coupled with the author's failed attempt to write this book from a place of expertise, made it a real struggle to finish. I gave myself the gift of not having to.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Body horror, Child abuse, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, and Acephobia/Arophobia