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A review by hassanazmi
The Symposium by Plato
4.0
Phaedrus: Basic speech about love being the greatest virtue.
Pausanius: This is when I knew this book was gonna be a banger. Pausanius comes in hot by saying real, noble love is when you have sex with boys going through puberty. Then this mf says having sex with women is for idiots who can't control themselves. What the hell? Can't help but respect the guy. Probably the most alpha gay dude in history.
Erixymachus: He starts off by dissing Pausanius' speech, fuckin' vibe-killer. Then gives the most basic take. Man was unprepared and thought he could deflect by talking shit about Pausanius. Who even invited him?
Aristophanes: Says humans used to be two humans combined until Zeus cut them in half and love is trying to find our other half. This guy was high as hell man. Says heterosexual people are adulterous and never grow up to do anything while homosexuals are the bravest and grow to be politicians and leaders. I mean at least he said something original unlike that bitch-ass Erixymachus.
Agathon: This guy basically says beauty is the source of love and that leads to a lot of virtues, blah blah.
Socrates: Alright, the big dog. Been waiting for this. Starts by interrogating Agathon's whole speech. Grills the shit out of him, Agathon concedes, barely even fights and Socrates asserts his dominance. Takes him like one page. This is what I came to see. Then says the idea that love is the only way for most men to achieve immortality through reproduction and that is why we are so attracted to it. But people who have a creative spirit and have immortality in other ways by producing something else they want to give to the world. I have heard this idea before and this is might be the origin of it. He concludes by saying that a man should begin by loving bodies but then evolve to loving minds, then knowledge, and the Beauty itself which is basically wisdom, in his definition. This is apparently the orgin of the term "Platonic Love". Plato didn't even come up with it.
Alciblades: This is where the party gets a little awkward. Alciblades comes in drunk as hell and says he's gonna start praising Socrates. He starts off by calling Socrates old and ugly and himself super handsome. He praises Socrates a bunch too and yada yada. But then he says when he saw inside Socrates mind through his words, he became infatuated with him. Then he admits that he's been trying to fuck Socrates but Socrates denied him since Socrates only loves wisdom. I dunno bro, I would't admit that I got rejected by an old man in front of all the homies. Anyway, he becomes so obsessed with Socrates that he sees him as the only person worthy of love. Socrates rejects him again. They even agree to sleep next to each other but Alciblades doesn't even try to fuck him because he's so ashamed.
At the very end, they talk about how Socrates was trying to convince people that comedy and tragedy are super closely linked. Another idea I heard a bunch of times and this seems to be the origin. That's three ideas people mention all the time that Socrates came up with in this one dinner. Man really was soemthing special. Alciblades might have had a point if he wasn't so goddamn desperate.
Good book. Crazy that all the high-society Greeks were not only gay, but anti-straight. Makes you think.
Pausanius: This is when I knew this book was gonna be a banger. Pausanius comes in hot by saying real, noble love is when you have sex with boys going through puberty. Then this mf says having sex with women is for idiots who can't control themselves. What the hell? Can't help but respect the guy. Probably the most alpha gay dude in history.
Erixymachus: He starts off by dissing Pausanius' speech, fuckin' vibe-killer. Then gives the most basic take. Man was unprepared and thought he could deflect by talking shit about Pausanius. Who even invited him?
Aristophanes: Says humans used to be two humans combined until Zeus cut them in half and love is trying to find our other half. This guy was high as hell man. Says heterosexual people are adulterous and never grow up to do anything while homosexuals are the bravest and grow to be politicians and leaders. I mean at least he said something original unlike that bitch-ass Erixymachus.
Agathon: This guy basically says beauty is the source of love and that leads to a lot of virtues, blah blah.
Socrates: Alright, the big dog. Been waiting for this. Starts by interrogating Agathon's whole speech. Grills the shit out of him, Agathon concedes, barely even fights and Socrates asserts his dominance. Takes him like one page. This is what I came to see. Then says the idea that love is the only way for most men to achieve immortality through reproduction and that is why we are so attracted to it. But people who have a creative spirit and have immortality in other ways by producing something else they want to give to the world. I have heard this idea before and this is might be the origin of it. He concludes by saying that a man should begin by loving bodies but then evolve to loving minds, then knowledge, and the Beauty itself which is basically wisdom, in his definition. This is apparently the orgin of the term "Platonic Love". Plato didn't even come up with it.
Alciblades: This is where the party gets a little awkward. Alciblades comes in drunk as hell and says he's gonna start praising Socrates. He starts off by calling Socrates old and ugly and himself super handsome. He praises Socrates a bunch too and yada yada. But then he says when he saw inside Socrates mind through his words, he became infatuated with him. Then he admits that he's been trying to fuck Socrates but Socrates denied him since Socrates only loves wisdom. I dunno bro, I would't admit that I got rejected by an old man in front of all the homies. Anyway, he becomes so obsessed with Socrates that he sees him as the only person worthy of love. Socrates rejects him again. They even agree to sleep next to each other but Alciblades doesn't even try to fuck him because he's so ashamed.
At the very end, they talk about how Socrates was trying to convince people that comedy and tragedy are super closely linked. Another idea I heard a bunch of times and this seems to be the origin. That's three ideas people mention all the time that Socrates came up with in this one dinner. Man really was soemthing special. Alciblades might have had a point if he wasn't so goddamn desperate.
Good book. Crazy that all the high-society Greeks were not only gay, but anti-straight. Makes you think.