A review by kongart
Breakwater by Catherine Jones Payne
1.0
DNF at maybe 25%? I don't really know or care.
I read this on the Kindle app using Kindle Unlimited so I wouldn't have to spend any money in order to read it—because I didn't want to spend money on it if I didn't like it. I'm definitely glad I spent $0.00.
I feel like most of the time I spent on this book was taking rage-screenshots and typing out rude notes on my phone. I wish I could share those notes in their true form, but I oughtn't. Since I read this book two weeks ago, however, I will be referring to those notes for this review.
One of the many issues I have is that I didn't care about any of the characters. They all could have died and I would have cheered. The characters also have annoying names?? Like?? George?? and Benjamin?? and Tor??tor da god o' tunder This is probably just a personal preference, but WHY are the names so annoying? And why is their world so annoying? The book is written like the characters are on land—until OOPS JUST REMEMBERED A THING LOL THEY'RE UNDERWATER.
Honestly, this book was exhausting, and not just because the same two verbs are repeated so the reader knows the characters aren't walking on land. There are also a lot of cliche phrases ("pursing my lips"), but weird things irritate me, I guess—though Jade, the protagonist, describing herself by looking in the mirror nearly killed me.
I wrote "racism" a lot in my notes, so there's that. There's also a dolphin named Kiki, and somehow mermaids just wear regular old cloth?? but how. The book reads like a contemporary fiction novel but is fantasy?? I don't understand. Some fun things are in this book like, "what the depths," "skub," "peace be upon you," and "[something] my fin." I have a note that says, "now ur isolating the protagonist so she can be ~*~sad~*~ and ~*~speshul~*~ because she's Not Like Other Girls." I stand by that.
This mermaid city, Thessalonike (did i spell that right who knows), has places with kitchens?? but how do they cook. UNDERWATER. At one point the main character "dons a cloak," but HOW DOES THE HOOD STAY ON. UNDERWATER. The eye and hair colors of every single person are described as soon as that character appears (okay maybe that's a slight exaggeration), and I want you all to know that if amerman has "broad shoulders" and "an attractive chest area," he is definitely The One.
The dialogue is juvenile and Horrid, and the naiads have powers that aren't explained, AND HOW ARE THE NAIADS THE ONES IN POVERTY WHEN THEY HAVE ~*~MAGIC~*~?? The question of the century.
The last thing I wrote in my notes was, "i literally hate jade so much i want her to die." I did great.
I read this on the Kindle app using Kindle Unlimited so I wouldn't have to spend any money in order to read it—because I didn't want to spend money on it if I didn't like it. I'm definitely glad I spent $0.00.
I feel like most of the time I spent on this book was taking rage-screenshots and typing out rude notes on my phone. I wish I could share those notes in their true form, but I oughtn't. Since I read this book two weeks ago, however, I will be referring to those notes for this review.
One of the many issues I have is that I didn't care about any of the characters. They all could have died and I would have cheered. The characters also have annoying names?? Like?? George?? and Benjamin?? and Tor??
Honestly, this book was exhausting, and not just because the same two verbs are repeated so the reader knows the characters aren't walking on land. There are also a lot of cliche phrases ("pursing my lips"), but weird things irritate me, I guess—though Jade, the protagonist, describing herself by looking in the mirror nearly killed me.
I wrote "racism" a lot in my notes, so there's that. There's also a dolphin named Kiki, and somehow mermaids just wear regular old cloth?? but how. The book reads like a contemporary fiction novel but is fantasy?? I don't understand. Some fun things are in this book like, "what the depths," "skub," "peace be upon you," and "[something] my fin." I have a note that says, "now ur isolating the protagonist so she can be ~*~sad~*~ and ~*~speshul~*~ because she's Not Like Other Girls." I stand by that.
This mermaid city, Thessalonike (did i spell that right who knows), has places with kitchens?? but how do they cook. UNDERWATER. At one point the main character "dons a cloak," but HOW DOES THE HOOD STAY ON. UNDERWATER. The eye and hair colors of every single person are described as soon as that character appears (okay maybe that's a slight exaggeration), and I want you all to know that if a
The dialogue is juvenile and Horrid, and the naiads have powers that aren't explained, AND HOW ARE THE NAIADS THE ONES IN POVERTY WHEN THEY HAVE ~*~MAGIC~*~?? The question of the century.
The last thing I wrote in my notes was, "i literally hate jade so much i want her to die." I did great.