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A review by astrireads
It Ends with Us by Colleen Hoover
challenging
dark
emotional
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.0
Colleen Hoover's "It Ends With Us" has been a huge hit, but it has some problematic elements that are hard to ignore. While the book tries to deal with serious topics like domestic violence and trauma, it often ends up excusing or romanticizing toxic and concerning behaviours.
Right from the start, red flags were waving. The first time Lily meets Ryle, he's kicking a chair in frustration. It should have been a huge warning for Lily to walk away, but the story plays it off like it's no big deal and just an emotional outburst. Later on, Ryle's aggressive actions such as pressuring Lily for sex and she still stays with him, sends the wrong message about relationships. These moments are portrayed as part of the ups and downs of a normal relationship instead of calling it out as a toxic behaviour.
Another major issue is how the book handles consent, especially with the idea that gay male characters can casually touch women without it being an issue. Regardless of someone's sexuality, consent is important, and it feels like the book doesn't respect boundaries.
The biggest problem for me is the quote: "there is no such thing as bad people, we're all just people who do sometimes do bad things." This idea is dangerous because it downplays the fact that some people are abusive, and abusers can’t be excused because they have a sad traumatic backstory. It feels like Hoover is trying to make Ryle seem redeemable by blurring the lines between right and wrong despite how clearly manipulative and abusive his actions are.
The whole part where Lily struggles to leave Ryle because she’s pregnant puzzles me. While it’s true that many victims find it hard to leave, using the idea that pregnancy hormones clouded her decision feels like an excuse for why she stays, rather than diving deeper into the real emotional and psychological struggles of abuse victims.
Overall, "It Ends With Us" had the potential to be a meaningful exploration of domestic violence, but it ends up romanticizing abusive and toxic behaviours instead. Hoover might have written this book to explore the grey areas of abusive relationships, but the way that Ryle’s abusive actions were downplayed, it misses the mark on handling these tough topics with the care they deserve.
Right from the start, red flags were waving. The first time Lily meets Ryle, he's kicking a chair in frustration. It should have been a huge warning for Lily to walk away, but the story plays it off like it's no big deal and just an emotional outburst. Later on, Ryle's aggressive actions such as pressuring Lily for sex and she still stays with him, sends the wrong message about relationships. These moments are portrayed as part of the ups and downs of a normal relationship instead of calling it out as a toxic behaviour.
Another major issue is how the book handles consent, especially with the idea that gay male characters can casually touch women without it being an issue. Regardless of someone's sexuality, consent is important, and it feels like the book doesn't respect boundaries.
The biggest problem for me is the quote: "there is no such thing as bad people, we're all just people who do sometimes do bad things." This idea is dangerous because it downplays the fact that some people are abusive, and abusers can’t be excused because they have a sad traumatic backstory. It feels like Hoover is trying to make Ryle seem redeemable by blurring the lines between right and wrong despite how clearly manipulative and abusive his actions are.
The whole part where Lily struggles to leave Ryle because she’s pregnant puzzles me. While it’s true that many victims find it hard to leave, using the idea that pregnancy hormones clouded her decision feels like an excuse for why she stays, rather than diving deeper into the real emotional and psychological struggles of abuse victims.
Overall, "It Ends With Us" had the potential to be a meaningful exploration of domestic violence, but it ends up romanticizing abusive and toxic behaviours instead. Hoover might have written this book to explore the grey areas of abusive relationships, but the way that Ryle’s abusive actions were downplayed, it misses the mark on handling these tough topics with the care they deserve.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Domestic abuse
Minor: Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Sexual assault, and Alcohol
Attempted rape