A review by bisexualbookshelf
Endpapers by Jennifer Savran Kelly

emotional inspiring reflective medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.75

Endpapers by Jennifer Savran Kelly is an introspective novel that follows Dawn, an artist and bookbinder, as she navigates the complexities of gender identity, bisexuality, and artist’s block. Set against the backdrop of post-9/11 Manhattan, Dawn's internal journey mirrors her external exploration of the city's streets and its queer history. Kelly weaves these threads together with a quiet, lyrical style, rich in emotional depth and philosophical musings.

Dawn's struggle with her gender is the heart of the story. Unsure of what it means to be a woman—or if she is one at all—Dawn often speaks of "the boy inside" of her, a metaphor for her fluctuating sense of self. Kelly captures the frustration and fear of not fitting neatly into society's binary categories, painting a deeply personal portrait of someone yearning to be understood for their gender fluidity, even as they are unsure of how to express it.

The plot is propelled forward when Dawn stumbles upon a hidden piece of queer history: a lesbian pulp novel cover sewn into the binding of another book, inscribed with a lesbian love letter. This discovery leads Dawn to investigate the lives of Gertrude and Marta, the women behind the letter, ultimately drawing a powerful parallel between the intergenerational queer experiences of hidden love, gender nonconformity, and survival. This quest, coupled with her exploration of her own identity, forms the core of Endpapers.

Dawn's relationships with her bisexual boyfriend Lukas and best friend Jae add layers to the story, allowing her to explore masculinity and intimacy in various forms. The dynamics between Dawn and Lukas, in particular, are fraught with tension, as Dawn feels boxed in by Lukas’s preference for her masculine side. Though their relationship provides fertile ground for Dawn's gender exploration, it’s clear from the beginning that their connection has become toxic. Unfortunately, Kelly doesn’t offer much insight into the positive foundation of their relationship, which made it hard to connect with or understand why Dawn continues to stay.

One of the novel’s standout features is its bisexual representation. Both Dawn and Lukas’s fluid sexualities are presented with nuance, and the exploration of biphobia within the queer community is handled with care. Dawn’s feelings of exclusion from both the straight and LGBTQ+ communities due to her gender nonconformity and bisexuality are poignant and relatable, underscoring a broader theme of belonging and the cost of hiding one’s true self.

However, the novel’s pacing can be uneven. The stream-of-consciousness narrative in the first half, while thematically aligned with Dawn’s inner turmoil, at times felt meandering and made it difficult to stay engaged. Additionally, a subplot involving an attack on Dawn, Lukas, and Jae, who is straight, by homophobic men, and Jae’s subsequent injuries, felt somewhat disconnected from the main narrative and left me questioning its place in the larger story.

Despite these criticisms, Endpapers is a thoughtful exploration of gender, identity, and the queer experience, offering readers a tender glimpse into one woman’s journey toward self-acceptance. With its rich themes and evocative prose, the novel is a testament to the power of queer solidarity across generations, even when the path to self-understanding feels elusive.

📖 Recommended For: Readers who enjoy introspective and evocative prose, those interested in exploring gender fluidity and bisexuality, lovers of character-driven stories set against historical backdrops, fans of Malinda Lo’s Last Night at the Telegraph Club.

🔑 Key Themes: Gender Fluidity, Bisexual Identity, Creative Block and Self-Discovery, Queer History and Intergenerational Solidarity, Belonging and Isolation.
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