A review by eesh25
Loose Cannon by Sidney Bell

4.0

4.5 Stars

Church has anger management issues. He was convicted of assault at the age of seventeen and after five years, first in juvie and then in Woodbury Residential Treatment Center, he's finally getting out. But his freedom depends upon him finding someone to live with, a "grounding influence". All out of options, Church makes a call to Miller.

Church was sixteen when he met Miller. A product of horrible parents, Church was homeless and desperate. Miller helped him because Miller is one of the most selfless people you will ever meet (though he's not flawless). They became friends, but never more, for two reasons. First because Miller was twenty-five and thought of Church as a kid. Second because he was straight. Well not really, but he was painfully repressed with a high concentration of denial.

Now, years later, things are different. Miller is still repressed but Church is not a kid. Church is also in love with him and doing his best not to let it show. The last time they spoke, five years ago, something bad happened. So going back to being friends is a little more complicated that you'd think. But Church is determined to get his life on track.

That's the best thing about Church. He has issues but he tries so hard to overcome them. He wants to be better. He wants a good life for himself, even if he doesn't think he'll get it. Of course, even after all his efforts, shit goes wrong.

This book is about Church. Not just about his relationship with Miller and whether it can develop into something more, but also about his job, about his friends, and about the person he's trying to be. He's finally free and he wants to keep it that way. He also wants to fix his friendship with Miller, who's the most important person in his life. So when he gets caught accidentally witnessing something he shouldn't have, his priority is to keep the damage to a minimum, to keep the people in his life safe and most of all, to keep Miller out of it.

As for Miller, he just wants to help Church. Miller really is the nicest guy, to a fault. He'd rather be miserable his entire life than disappoint anyone. The only time he messes is when confronted the truth with his sexuality (then he can be an ass). His father may be dead but the words he said left a mark, and Miller can't seem to move past them.

This was a really good read, a romantic suspense that was really focused on the characters. Not just Church and Miller, but Church's friends—Tobias and Ghost—as well as Miller's sister and niece. And the two aspects of the novel, the emotion and the action, are very well-balanced. The tone of the novel is quite angsty though and this definitely isn't a short book, so I wouldn't recommend it to anyone looking for a laid back read. But I definitely do recommend it. This is only the author's second book and I was really surprised by how well-written it is, so check it out.