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A review by koistyfishy
The Anaconda Downstairs by Amy Award
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
lighthearted
reflective
relaxing
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
3 Bananaconda Stars ⭐️
Spicy Level: 🌶️🌶️/5
Okay, I wanted to love this, but it tried to be a little too “woke,” and I just got irritated because the wokeness never stopped.
𝙎𝙮𝙣𝙤𝙥𝙨𝙞𝙨:
This follows Penelope Quinn, who is an assistant to a super-mega-popular singer named Kelsey Best, (basically our version of Taylor Swift). Kelsey is dating a football player, which means Penelope often ends up in situations around Declan and his family and becomes very close friends with Everett Kingman, Declan's younger brother. The issue is Declan sees Penelope as a little sister, and that means she is VERY off-limits for Everett, even though he has secretly been in love with her for ages. Secretly Penelope has the biggest crush on Everett but believes a professional star athlete like him will never look at a bigger girl like her. One day, Penelope needs a date for the Grampys (yes, insert eye-roll emoji here… everything’s a bloody pun in this book), so she enlists Everett, "The Love Guru", to teach her how to date so she can find someone to bring with her. And we all know how dating lessons go when both people are irrevocably in love.
Penelope actually frustrated me. And it wasn't the narration because that was fantastic... but HOW she is written. A lot of her actions happen in Everett's POV so we only see the outcome and not her internal reasoning. I wanted more insight into her thought process but most times when this happened we were in Everett's POV watching him react to how she behaved, which seemed very disconnected.
Penelope is incredibly self-conscious, hard on herself, and fixated on her self-image. Where this would get weird is Pen’s internal dialogue feels shy and apprehensive, so it threw me off when, in Everett’s POV, she would suddenly flip into doing something bold. Luckily Everett felt consistent no matter whose POV I was in as he stayed true to the character.
Everett is such a sweetheart, though he’s hard on himself because of how the world sees him. He believes that the public perception of him being the "love guru" and helping others find love, means he can’t be happy, can’t find love, and can’t be the man Penelope deserves. He has to work through that emotional journey, eventually admitting that she rocks his world.
NOW... what frustrated me is the tongue-in-cheek, satirical, “woke” elements referencing social media and pop culture. I couldn’t take it seriously when they mentioned “the Grampys” and “flip-flop” for real-life equivalents. I would’ve preferred they just use “the Grammys” or “TikTok” or “Instagram,” unless there’s some legal reason they couldn’t. Every time they said “Grampy,” I rolled my eyes because we know they mean the Grammys and I HAVE TOTALLY HEARD OTHER BOOKS CALL IT THE REAL NAMES.
Also, I read books to escape reality, especially as a bigger girl myself with insecurities. I want to be whisked away by a hot NFL player making googly eyes at me, not be reminded over and over about body positivity. A big part of the book is about accepting who you are and what you look like, regardless of shape, form, or weight. It sometimes felt like a self-help message layered into the story, and while I get it’s important, and many people will love that aspect, I felt it was hammered in too heavily. I just wanted the plot to move on... I was READING A ROMANCE... NOT A SELF HELP BOOK!
It did also take me a bit to figure out who was who in the side characters, but that’s on me. This is the first book I’ve read in the series, so I wasn’t familiar with all the side characters who already had their own stories and their role in the universe...
𝙏𝙧𝙤𝙥𝙚𝙨:
▶ Sports Romance (Football)
▶ Friends to Lovers
▶ Forbidden Romance
▶ Dating Coach
▶ It's Always Been You
▶ Celebrity Romance
▶ Plus Size Rep
▶ Banter
▶ Band of Brothers (Literally)
and 𝙈𝙞𝙘𝙧𝙤 𝙏𝙧𝙤𝙥𝙚𝙨:
▷ Nicknames
▷ Dirty Talk
▷ Car Sex
▷ Squirting...
Overall, the voice acting was excellent. If you want a book with these tropes mentioned above maybe you’ll enjoy it more than I did. You might find more joy in the body-positivity angle than I did.
Thank you to Dreamscape Media and Amy Award for the gifted copy! All thoughts and opinions are my own
-=-=-=-= -=-=-=-= -=-=-=-=-
The first 5 mins into this and I am thinking.... what a COCKY man... and that is not a comment about the snake in his pants...
Spicy Level: 🌶️🌶️/5
Okay, I wanted to love this, but it tried to be a little too “woke,” and I just got irritated because the wokeness never stopped.
𝙎𝙮𝙣𝙤𝙥𝙨𝙞𝙨:
This follows Penelope Quinn, who is an assistant to a super-mega-popular singer named Kelsey Best, (basically our version of Taylor Swift). Kelsey is dating a football player, which means Penelope often ends up in situations around Declan and his family and becomes very close friends with Everett Kingman, Declan's younger brother. The issue is Declan sees Penelope as a little sister, and that means she is VERY off-limits for Everett, even though he has secretly been in love with her for ages. Secretly Penelope has the biggest crush on Everett but believes a professional star athlete like him will never look at a bigger girl like her. One day, Penelope needs a date for the Grampys (yes, insert eye-roll emoji here… everything’s a bloody pun in this book), so she enlists Everett, "The Love Guru", to teach her how to date so she can find someone to bring with her. And we all know how dating lessons go when both people are irrevocably in love.
Penelope actually frustrated me. And it wasn't the narration because that was fantastic... but HOW she is written. A lot of her actions happen in Everett's POV so we only see the outcome and not her internal reasoning. I wanted more insight into her thought process but most times when this happened we were in Everett's POV watching him react to how she behaved, which seemed very disconnected.
Penelope is incredibly self-conscious, hard on herself, and fixated on her self-image. Where this would get weird is Pen’s internal dialogue feels shy and apprehensive, so it threw me off when, in Everett’s POV, she would suddenly flip into doing something bold. Luckily Everett felt consistent no matter whose POV I was in as he stayed true to the character.
Everett is such a sweetheart, though he’s hard on himself because of how the world sees him. He believes that the public perception of him being the "love guru" and helping others find love, means he can’t be happy, can’t find love, and can’t be the man Penelope deserves. He has to work through that emotional journey, eventually admitting that she rocks his world.
NOW... what frustrated me is the tongue-in-cheek, satirical, “woke” elements referencing social media and pop culture. I couldn’t take it seriously when they mentioned “the Grampys” and “flip-flop” for real-life equivalents. I would’ve preferred they just use “the Grammys” or “TikTok” or “Instagram,” unless there’s some legal reason they couldn’t. Every time they said “Grampy,” I rolled my eyes because we know they mean the Grammys and I HAVE TOTALLY HEARD OTHER BOOKS CALL IT THE REAL NAMES.
Also, I read books to escape reality, especially as a bigger girl myself with insecurities. I want to be whisked away by a hot NFL player making googly eyes at me, not be reminded over and over about body positivity. A big part of the book is about accepting who you are and what you look like, regardless of shape, form, or weight. It sometimes felt like a self-help message layered into the story, and while I get it’s important, and many people will love that aspect, I felt it was hammered in too heavily. I just wanted the plot to move on... I was READING A ROMANCE... NOT A SELF HELP BOOK!
It did also take me a bit to figure out who was who in the side characters, but that’s on me. This is the first book I’ve read in the series, so I wasn’t familiar with all the side characters who already had their own stories and their role in the universe...
𝙏𝙧𝙤𝙥𝙚𝙨:
▶ Sports Romance (Football)
▶ Friends to Lovers
▶ Forbidden Romance
▶ Dating Coach
▶ It's Always Been You
▶ Celebrity Romance
▶ Plus Size Rep
▶ Banter
▶ Band of Brothers (Literally)
and 𝙈𝙞𝙘𝙧𝙤 𝙏𝙧𝙤𝙥𝙚𝙨:
▷ Nicknames
▷ Dirty Talk
▷ Car Sex
▷ Squirting...
Overall, the voice acting was excellent. If you want a book with these tropes mentioned above maybe you’ll enjoy it more than I did. You might find more joy in the body-positivity angle than I did.
Thank you to Dreamscape Media and Amy Award for the gifted copy! All thoughts and opinions are my own
-=-=-=-= -=-=-=-= -=-=-=-=-
The first 5 mins into this and I am thinking.... what a COCKY man... and that is not a comment about the snake in his pants...
Content Warnings
Graphic: Body shaming, Cursing, Fatphobia, and Sexual content
Moderate: Bullying and Death of parent
Minor: Medical content and Injury/Injury detail