A review by lillimoore
My Year of Rest and Relaxation by Ottessa Moshfegh

4.0

This was an absolutely wild ride. I had really mixed feelings for the duration of the book, but the narrator of the audiobook was fabulous and I loved listening to her speak so I kept on through the moments that made me want to stop listening and I'm glad that I did so. The very end of the book was so incredibly gratifying that it changed what was initially, to me, a solid 2.5 into a 4.

The original 2.5 was not because the writing was lacking. It wasn't because I had such mixed emotions regarding the nameless narrator of the story (which was clearly the author's intention) and her casual drug abuse and friend abuse. It was probably because reading it so often felt murky and foggy just like time does when you take too many sleeping aids. Surely that was intentional as well, but in this case, good thing this book is relatively short or it would certainly feel like an overdose. It hit close to home--my mother was addicted to painkillers and other various opioids, and it eventually killed her as well, but unlike the narrator, she was a good person who cared about her impact on others and the world around her. She never judged anyone for anything (she was all too aware of her fatal flaw). Maybe the personal reasons and the differences in women who shared this toxic trait is what made the first half of this book feel like slogging through shit. I actually do like good people, and seeing the good in people, and even though it might be cooler to write about a character that everyone hates and with good reason, for me it's not the type I prefer to read about. That being said, I look forward to reading Eileen after all of the mentions in the reviews of this book.

Despite the shortcomings of genuine goodness in the people in this book, I still enjoyed it. I think this author is a star at crafting character studies. I felt that I got so inside of the narrator I could have worn her as a white fox fur coat. I even felt that I got that insight into that absolute loon Dr. Tuttle and I adored Reva in spite of everything I despised about her. Her presence on the last page is what made this entire book worth the time it took to read.

If Bojack Horseman's mother never gave birth, instead opted to move to the city and led a different but equally depressing existence, and later wrote a memoir, this probably would have been it. I was so reminded of her casual cruelty and voice, snide remarks she makes at Bojack and her husband in the show. The book actually felt very similar to the fourth season of Bojack in that it reflected a lot on the underwhelming tragedy of growing up with detached, cold parents.

If you're in a delicate emotional state, this is not the book for you. It will immediately bring you back to your own blue periods in memory whether you're prepared to deal with that or not. Luckily for me, when it was very reminiscent of times where I've locked myself in my own apartment for as long as financially possible, I was prepared to think about that and reflect on it as I'm feeling pretty good recently. Just make sure you're feeling good too before you pick this one up.