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A review by kenfoxley
We Used to Be Friends by Amy Spalding
emotional
funny
lighthearted
sad
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
I will admit, I really hated this at first. I was not enjoying it at all and I almost marked it as DNF because it felt insufferable. But truth be told I felt like I was meant to read this. I’ve had my fair share of broken friendships that were so broken beyond repair and sometimes you just never get that back. Things can never really go back to normal sometimes, because the more you tear at a scab, at the end of the day, it’s still going to scar.
I do want to say, however, while the things the two main characters went through did shape them into who they were, I don’t believe some of those things were justified in how they acted. James reminded me a lot of myself, not very good with words, knows how she feels but doesn’t understand how to express how she feels and how to put those feelings into words. I struggle a lot with expressing my feelings and love for people, much like James. Kat? I wanted to like Kat, but I found she annoyed me almost the entire book. So dramatic, so over the top, and I was getting fed up with how many times she said “OMG!” I think both characters were extremely flawed in their own ways, and neither of them were perfect by any means. But they constantly threw things at each other that somehow justified their shitty behavior.
“Stuff was clearly bothering you! You didn’t say anything about that, either. If you thought I was being a crappy friend, you should have said something.”
“And you should have known. I just wanted you in my life, like before, like when it felt like it was me and you against everything.”
“But we weren’t against anything. You were my best friend, and then suddenly you weren’t. Suddenly you didn’t tell me anything and I had to find out stuff from Logan, and from Hannah Padilla”
This, for example. People are not mind readers, as well as I know my friends and stuff I do not ever claim to always know what they’re going through, if something is bothering you that your friend is or is not doing you need to speak up about it. “You should have known” is not an excuse to not communicate your needs to your friends. This part just rubbed me the wrong way because I’ve been there, I’ve had friends that acted as if I should just always know when something is bothering them and read their mind and confront them about it, instead of coming to me and communicating their needs to me that they need some reassurance or some help. I may be intuitive and know something could be bothering you, but it only takes me so far. And I’m not going to pry into your life if you haven’t told me and you have chosen to not tell me for whatever reason. This kind of behavior, even with friends, is very manipulative and it rubs me the wrong way that people think you should always just know how your friend is feeling and if you don’t then you’re the problem.
I think that’s what ultimately made me give this 3/5 stars, it’s a YA novel that it feels like set for very impressionable teenagers that would think this way if their best friend doesn’t tell them stuff and just expects them to read their mind when something is bothering them. I’m almost 28 years old and I know people my age who act this way…
I do want to say, however, while the things the two main characters went through did shape them into who they were, I don’t believe some of those things were justified in how they acted. James reminded me a lot of myself, not very good with words, knows how she feels but doesn’t understand how to express how she feels and how to put those feelings into words. I struggle a lot with expressing my feelings and love for people, much like James. Kat? I wanted to like Kat, but I found she annoyed me almost the entire book. So dramatic, so over the top, and I was getting fed up with how many times she said “OMG!” I think both characters were extremely flawed in their own ways, and neither of them were perfect by any means. But they constantly threw things at each other that somehow justified their shitty behavior.
“Stuff was clearly bothering you! You didn’t say anything about that, either. If you thought I was being a crappy friend, you should have said something.”
“And you should have known. I just wanted you in my life, like before, like when it felt like it was me and you against everything.”
“But we weren’t against anything. You were my best friend, and then suddenly you weren’t. Suddenly you didn’t tell me anything and I had to find out stuff from Logan, and from Hannah Padilla”
This, for example. People are not mind readers, as well as I know my friends and stuff I do not ever claim to always know what they’re going through, if something is bothering you that your friend is or is not doing you need to speak up about it. “You should have known” is not an excuse to not communicate your needs to your friends. This part just rubbed me the wrong way because I’ve been there, I’ve had friends that acted as if I should just always know when something is bothering them and read their mind and confront them about it, instead of coming to me and communicating their needs to me that they need some reassurance or some help. I may be intuitive and know something could be bothering you, but it only takes me so far. And I’m not going to pry into your life if you haven’t told me and you have chosen to not tell me for whatever reason. This kind of behavior, even with friends, is very manipulative and it rubs me the wrong way that people think you should always just know how your friend is feeling and if you don’t then you’re the problem.
I think that’s what ultimately made me give this 3/5 stars, it’s a YA novel that it feels like set for very impressionable teenagers that would think this way if their best friend doesn’t tell them stuff and just expects them to read their mind when something is bothering them. I’m almost 28 years old and I know people my age who act this way…