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A review by jsegaloff
Mask of Fire by Raneem Abu-Nimeh
4.0
I enjoyed the way the author developed the main character, Eve. You could see her grow, progressively throughout the story. The author addresses issues of social class and gender inequality without beating you over the head with it.
The beginning of the story is a little choppy. It seems to jump forward quickly and at first, I found it a little difficult to follow. As the story developed, I started to think this may have been intentional on the author’s part. The main character was experiencing a time of great confusion where things were happening quickly all around her and she did not know what was true or who to trust. The overall effect was that I felt similar to the way the main character may have felt.
As the story continues, and the main character develops and learns more about herself, the writing develops as well. There are more details and the story flows more seamlessly. I found it much easier to understand exactly what was happening. I was more able to try to anticipate the main character’s next moves. I felt more like I was a part of the story as it unfolded.
The plot is linear, despite there being a lot of dream sequences in the beginning where the main character is remembering things that have happened to her. Though the story is written in the third person, you will only follow the action from Eve’s point of view. Do not expect any side-quests or sub-plots. This does not detract from the story. You really do not know what characters to trust. Right up to the end, I was completely unsure what side Caspian was on even though he insisted it was his own side.
I enjoyed some of the imagery and descriptions used by the author. “Eve’s legs were like cooked noodles” “Blood bubbled through the skin in pretty crimson beads.” “Eve opened her book and tossed herself back into the jagged waves of words and deeper into the waters of her stories.”
Some of the descriptions used did not work well for me. “..as the juicy fall air danced around her.” What makes air juicy?
“Eve’s heart was a jet” Like, the kind flying in the air, or the kind that shoots water? Is this to mean it is beating very quickly because jet planes are fast?
“...her legs burned. It was as if they were riding apart.” ???
There were also several instances of echo words, which are not bad, they just drive me crazy. “She pulled out a silky and flowered dress. She changed into a slick dress, a sturdy pair of oxfords, and a ponytail. Eve tied a golden belt to highlight her waist and red-rose dress.”
“Eve ran her fingers over the aged spines of many books, inhaling the sweet smell of aged pages, dust, and old books.”
Overall, the storyline is really good. The author took a great idea and turned it into an adventure. There is evidence that the book could have used another beta-read or paid editor, but nothing that made the story unreadable. If you also take into account the age of the author (which I really haven’t up until this point) the writing shows incredible promise and I hope the author continues to share her work. Also, I need to get some of those small squishy food balls. It sounds like a much more efficient way to create meals than I currently employ!
The beginning of the story is a little choppy. It seems to jump forward quickly and at first, I found it a little difficult to follow. As the story developed, I started to think this may have been intentional on the author’s part. The main character was experiencing a time of great confusion where things were happening quickly all around her and she did not know what was true or who to trust. The overall effect was that I felt similar to the way the main character may have felt.
As the story continues, and the main character develops and learns more about herself, the writing develops as well. There are more details and the story flows more seamlessly. I found it much easier to understand exactly what was happening. I was more able to try to anticipate the main character’s next moves. I felt more like I was a part of the story as it unfolded.
The plot is linear, despite there being a lot of dream sequences in the beginning where the main character is remembering things that have happened to her. Though the story is written in the third person, you will only follow the action from Eve’s point of view. Do not expect any side-quests or sub-plots. This does not detract from the story. You really do not know what characters to trust. Right up to the end, I was completely unsure what side Caspian was on even though he insisted it was his own side.
I enjoyed some of the imagery and descriptions used by the author. “Eve’s legs were like cooked noodles” “Blood bubbled through the skin in pretty crimson beads.” “Eve opened her book and tossed herself back into the jagged waves of words and deeper into the waters of her stories.”
Some of the descriptions used did not work well for me. “..as the juicy fall air danced around her.” What makes air juicy?
“Eve’s heart was a jet” Like, the kind flying in the air, or the kind that shoots water? Is this to mean it is beating very quickly because jet planes are fast?
“...her legs burned. It was as if they were riding apart.” ???
There were also several instances of echo words, which are not bad, they just drive me crazy. “She pulled out a silky and flowered dress. She changed into a slick dress, a sturdy pair of oxfords, and a ponytail. Eve tied a golden belt to highlight her waist and red-rose dress.”
“Eve ran her fingers over the aged spines of many books, inhaling the sweet smell of aged pages, dust, and old books.”
Overall, the storyline is really good. The author took a great idea and turned it into an adventure. There is evidence that the book could have used another beta-read or paid editor, but nothing that made the story unreadable. If you also take into account the age of the author (which I really haven’t up until this point) the writing shows incredible promise and I hope the author continues to share her work. Also, I need to get some of those small squishy food balls. It sounds like a much more efficient way to create meals than I currently employ!