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A review by timinbc
The Long Utopia by Terry Pratchett, Stephen Baxter
3.0
Better than I feared ... that's the best I can say about it.
Before I forget, I must credit the sly inclusion of having Lobsang say that one thing he knows about is sweeping. Those who have read Pratchett's Thief of Time will have appreciated that. Now let's see, which Lobsang said that?
So. Long Utopia? The Utopia concept is mentioned only slightly more than Mars, which is to say in about eight words. And buh-bye beanstalks, because we spent a lot of time writing them in only to realize that we can't DO much with them, so let's handwave reasons why they were feasible but suddenly aren't.
We have a lot of characters and groups of characters to wrap up here. So let's start slowly and not get the reader all excited. Remind readers that Sally is Mysterious and Important. Maybe some flashes from the moon. Mention Yellowstone a lot so we don't forget it.
Let's have a whole bunch more of Agnes and Lobsang sighing and all "I just want .." With the occasional reminder about Sally. Now a tedious aside, which was predictable because any time Nelson appears the air is sucked out of the room. Let's read about a man named Valiente in Victorian times, then puzzle through the clues as Joshua is shown his ancestry. And completely fails to say to Nelson, "That's nice, so what?" Steppers have been around a while. Why does that matter? Sally is what matters!
And now here's Stan. Stan's special. That's a good idea, because this series didn't have anyone special in it till now. No dead people in android bodies. No one who can step through soft places. But I will accept that a Next Next is a reasonable extrapolation.
We need a crisis if we're ever going to get out of this plot. So here we are at world 1,243,567, because Sally "just knew." And she just knew who she'd need.
But first, let's explain the beetles and the pathways. Let's drop in a huge new idea completely out of nowhere, an idea that could easily carry a new series all by itself. There's our crisis! Cue the stunned military guy, who is a complete idiot but somehow rose past the geniuses below him, as they always do in novels. Cue the rabble, with the "No! This is our home!" even when the place is demonstrably disintegrating.
The book does develop the crisis well, from here's what's happening to uh-oh, here's WHY it's happening.
Suddenly, foot-in-mouth fools-rush-in Stan has become a demagogue [aside: it is possible, ref. Donald Trump] whose honeyed words can move masses. Well, we can't be having with that, can we? Would Stan be torn apart by the mob, or do the authors have something bigger lined up for him? We don't know. Bet Sally does. I'm starting to find Sally rather annoying.
OK, the authors do a good enough job of tying things together, especially the soft places. And the key explanation -
The ending? Pure schlock. Melodrama. Cloying. Twee. And probably the only way out of the narrative corner the authors painted them into.
But really. Pfui. The only POSSIBLE explanation is narrativium: it had to happen for dramatic reasons. One: you can't top a Noble Sacrifice. Two: They've become so powerful that we can't leave them in the plot. They've almost gone beyond Superman spinning the world backwards to make it didn't happen.
Even if Sir Terry were still with us, I don't see how this series can go anywhere from here. Oh, wait, yes I do. At the end, there's at least one Lobsang left, spinning through space into the sequel galaxy. He has a matter printer (but no way to collect raw material for it). He can probably make broom, though. He'll end up landing on a flat, circular world supported by turtles. It will be one of many such worlds ...
Before I forget, I must credit the sly inclusion of having Lobsang say that one thing he knows about is sweeping. Those who have read Pratchett's Thief of Time will have appreciated that. Now let's see, which Lobsang said that?
So. Long Utopia? The Utopia concept is mentioned only slightly more than Mars, which is to say in about eight words. And buh-bye beanstalks, because we spent a lot of time writing them in only to realize that we can't DO much with them, so let's handwave reasons why they were feasible but suddenly aren't.
We have a lot of characters and groups of characters to wrap up here. So let's start slowly and not get the reader all excited. Remind readers that Sally is Mysterious and Important. Maybe some flashes from the moon. Mention Yellowstone a lot so we don't forget it.
Let's have a whole bunch more of Agnes and Lobsang sighing and all "I just want .." With the occasional reminder about Sally. Now a tedious aside, which was predictable because any time Nelson appears the air is sucked out of the room. Let's read about a man named Valiente in Victorian times, then puzzle through the clues as Joshua is shown his ancestry. And completely fails to say to Nelson, "That's nice, so what?" Steppers have been around a while. Why does that matter? Sally is what matters!
And now here's Stan. Stan's special. That's a good idea, because this series didn't have anyone special in it till now. No dead people in android bodies. No one who can step through soft places. But I will accept that a Next Next is a reasonable extrapolation.
We need a crisis if we're ever going to get out of this plot. So here we are at world 1,243,567, because Sally "just knew." And she just knew who she'd need.
But first, let's explain the beetles and the pathways. Let's drop in a huge new idea completely out of nowhere, an idea that could easily carry a new series all by itself. There's our crisis! Cue the stunned military guy, who is a complete idiot but somehow rose past the geniuses below him, as they always do in novels. Cue the rabble, with the "No! This is our home!" even when the place is demonstrably disintegrating.
The book does develop the crisis well, from here's what's happening to uh-oh, here's WHY it's happening.
Suddenly, foot-in-mouth fools-rush-in Stan has become a demagogue [aside: it is possible, ref. Donald Trump] whose honeyed words can move masses. Well, we can't be having with that, can we? Would Stan be torn apart by the mob, or do the authors have something bigger lined up for him? We don't know. Bet Sally does. I'm starting to find Sally rather annoying.
OK, the authors do a good enough job of tying things together, especially the soft places. And the key explanation -
Spoiler
that our sheaf of worlds has intersected anotherThe ending? Pure schlock. Melodrama. Cloying. Twee. And probably the only way out of the narrative corner the authors painted them into.
But really.
Spoiler
Stan and Sally can break the skein of worlds, snip out the offending planet, reconnect the skein .... and they can't pop themselves out to safety?Even if Sir Terry were still with us, I don't see how this series can go anywhere from here. Oh, wait, yes I do. At the end, there's at least one Lobsang left, spinning through space into the sequel galaxy. He has a matter printer (but no way to collect raw material for it). He can probably make broom, though. He'll end up landing on a flat, circular world supported by turtles. It will be one of many such worlds ...