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A review by chantplant
My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness by Nagata Kabi
challenging
emotional
informative
reflective
5.0
This is a re-read! Read it all in one go. Genuinely one of my favorite manga/comics and even books in general of all time. Read this for the first time in 2017 when I was still going through a lot of the same things Kabi was in this manga. Going back to it now that i’m (mostly) recovered from these things it still hits close to home.
I still felt so seen and could remember what it was like being in the thick of it and actually using this manga to help me understand why i was doing and feeling some of things that i was.
the essays on physical vs emotional pain & explaining how investing in yourself physically can do wonders for mental health were particularly helpful and worth coming back to. this is one of those manga that I will hold forever dear and will always reference and come back to. kabi also definitely deserves credit in popularizing autobio in manga and opening up the space to explore mental health and sexuality in the manga sphere.
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that being said - coming back to My Lesbian Experience after reading most of Kabi’s other works - it’s breaks my heart tremendously seeing her artwork decline in quality as her health worsens. as well as seeing Kabi talk herself into circles & seemingly stray away from the goals she’s made in this manga as time goes by. reading about her relapses in semi-real time is extremely saddening.
in My Lesbian Experience, Kabi fights with herself to gain control of her life and make her own wants and desires a priority. She tells herself over & over that her life > her parent’s expectations. Yet in her second latest My Pancreas Broke But My Life Got Better, she circles back to where she started: worrying about her parents feelings and making choices based on how they may react.
i know that mental heath is a continuous process of two steps forward one step back. and relapse can happen several times even in later recovery stages.
i hope Kabi retraces her steps and re-reads My Lesbian Experience and remembers where she started. her own words may help her the way it’s helped me and others in their mental health journey. i wish her all the best and will continue to support her work.
I still felt so seen and could remember what it was like being in the thick of it and actually using this manga to help me understand why i was doing and feeling some of things that i was.
the essays on physical vs emotional pain & explaining how investing in yourself physically can do wonders for mental health were particularly helpful and worth coming back to. this is one of those manga that I will hold forever dear and will always reference and come back to. kabi also definitely deserves credit in popularizing autobio in manga and opening up the space to explore mental health and sexuality in the manga sphere.
-
that being said - coming back to My Lesbian Experience after reading most of Kabi’s other works - it’s breaks my heart tremendously seeing her artwork decline in quality as her health worsens. as well as seeing Kabi talk herself into circles & seemingly stray away from the goals she’s made in this manga as time goes by. reading about her relapses in semi-real time is extremely saddening.
in My Lesbian Experience, Kabi fights with herself to gain control of her life and make her own wants and desires a priority. She tells herself over & over that her life > her parent’s expectations. Yet in her second latest My Pancreas Broke But My Life Got Better, she circles back to where she started: worrying about her parents feelings and making choices based on how they may react.
i know that mental heath is a continuous process of two steps forward one step back. and relapse can happen several times even in later recovery stages.
i hope Kabi retraces her steps and re-reads My Lesbian Experience and remembers where she started. her own words may help her the way it’s helped me and others in their mental health journey. i wish her all the best and will continue to support her work.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Self harm, and Suicidal thoughts