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A review by skylarkblue1
The Blonde Dies First by Joelle Wellington
mysterious
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
2.5
I think this is perfectly middle of the road. First half is way too slow, second half is not bad though. The characters aren't exactly likeable however and they just bicker far.. FAR too much.. But the action was good tbh, even if the stakes were very low.
For the characters, they didn't really feel that rounded out. The book attempts to make fun of general horror tropes but.. didn't really do anything to actually parody or do anything with that so the characters just felt quite trope-y. None of them developed in any way over the course of the film as well, they all stayed basically the same. The relationships between them slightly improved I guess but there was no real consequences or reason really for the 2 sisters to finally make up and be closer especially. The ending was kinda meant to be for that to have a meaning but.. it fell a little flat.
There's also just way too many characters. New characters are constantly brought in for like a single scene and then never seen again... Was at bookclub and someone mentioned the character that just rang the door at one point to yell a bit and then was never mentioned again? I literally entirely forgot that character existed because they added nothing, had no reason to exist, and honestly just felt like a couple padded pages there.
The plot was kinda hilariously wild though. For one, it manages to take away all the tension and stakes from the action which is impressive for what's meant to be a supernatural slasher lmao. The reveal towards the end was also incredibly dumb but I actually loved it for that?? xD Pretty much all the plot is just at the end though, the action picks up around halfway through but the story is basically in the last 3rd/4th.
I did finish it, obviously, but that was mainly just because I actually liked the action - did take me a few days to get through the first half though. I was also genuinely curious on how it'd end honestly... it wasn't a very satisfying end though even with hopes not too high. Honestly, despite clearly being "inspired" by scream, it really felt like it copied specifically Scream 5 and just kinda did all it's points a bit.. worse. It didn't subvert expectations, it didn't really make fun of tropes, rules where played pretty loose.. But the action was pretty fun tbh!
There was just also a bit of weird representation. The only time one of the characters' Jewish identity was not played as the butt of a joke was at the very start - but even then they're just portrayed as a worrier and not to be taken too seriously. But genuinely like every other mention was because it's the butt of a joke (even if the "wrong religion" joke was kinda funny, it was certainly a trend through the book even with it's own running gag throughout). Not to mention as well the adult/minor relationship drama..? The adult is portrayed as a creep but like, if you agree to meet at a club on a 21+ night and lie about your age what do you expect them to think?? Yeah he's still written as "he seems a little creepy" but just feels a bit badly written all that side of things.
But yeah, mixed bag of a book. Certainly one to just not think about too much and just enjoy the action honestly. Maybe you can find what chapters have the plot and action in so you can skip all the bickering and have a much better time with it.
For the characters, they didn't really feel that rounded out. The book attempts to make fun of general horror tropes but.. didn't really do anything to actually parody or do anything with that so the characters just felt quite trope-y. None of them developed in any way over the course of the film as well, they all stayed basically the same. The relationships between them slightly improved I guess but there was no real consequences or reason really for the 2 sisters to finally make up and be closer especially. The ending was kinda meant to be for that to have a meaning but.. it fell a little flat.
There's also just way too many characters. New characters are constantly brought in for like a single scene and then never seen again... Was at bookclub and someone mentioned the character that just rang the door at one point to yell a bit and then was never mentioned again? I literally entirely forgot that character existed because they added nothing, had no reason to exist, and honestly just felt like a couple padded pages there.
The plot was kinda hilariously wild though. For one, it manages to take away all the tension and stakes from the action which is impressive for what's meant to be a supernatural slasher lmao. The reveal towards the end was also incredibly dumb but I actually loved it for that?? xD Pretty much all the plot is just at the end though, the action picks up around halfway through but the story is basically in the last 3rd/4th.
I did finish it, obviously, but that was mainly just because I actually liked the action - did take me a few days to get through the first half though. I was also genuinely curious on how it'd end honestly... it wasn't a very satisfying end though even with hopes not too high. Honestly, despite clearly being "inspired" by scream, it really felt like it copied specifically Scream 5 and just kinda did all it's points a bit.. worse. It didn't subvert expectations, it didn't really make fun of tropes, rules where played pretty loose.. But the action was pretty fun tbh!
There was just also a bit of weird representation. The only time one of the characters' Jewish identity was not played as the butt of a joke was at the very start - but even then they're just portrayed as a worrier and not to be taken too seriously. But genuinely like every other mention was because it's the butt of a joke (even if the "wrong religion" joke was kinda funny, it was certainly a trend through the book even with it's own running gag throughout). Not to mention as well the adult/minor relationship drama..? The adult is portrayed as a creep but like, if you agree to meet at a club on a 21+ night and lie about your age what do you expect them to think?? Yeah he's still written as "he seems a little creepy" but just feels a bit badly written all that side of things.
But yeah, mixed bag of a book. Certainly one to just not think about too much and just enjoy the action honestly. Maybe you can find what chapters have the plot and action in so you can skip all the bickering and have a much better time with it.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Misogyny, Violence, and Murder
Moderate: Adult/minor relationship, Death, Blood, and Classism