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A review by emays7
Good Vibes, Good Life: How Self-Love Is the Key to Unlocking Your Greatness by Vex King
2.0
I was surprised to see that this was a Sunday Times number one bestseller. There’s a significant lack of foundation to what King writes. Whilst I appreciate that you don’t have to be a qualified psychologist to write a book about living well, I found King’s evidence very anecdotal and vague.
Here are some reflections on elements I found good, not good, and half-good. This is more a review of King’s ideas as communicated in the book, rather than the book itself.
Good
- King highlights the importance of body language and the way you hold yourself – I think there’s value in that. As embodied beings, posture and gestures communicate not only to others, but to ourselves also.
- He notes that natural environments improve mood – this prompted me to reflect on my own worldview which sees nature as a gift from God and a beautiful creation.
- King discourages his readers to engage in gossip as it preys on ego, is judgemental, stems from hatred and increases stress and anxiety.
- Being thankful and looking for the good in everything around you is encouraged – he talks about it being vital to happiness and giving perspective. Thankfulness creates a shift from the self to the self as situated in a larger whole, in relation to other beings, whether other people or God.
- I like King’s aim to challenge and transform negative thoughts rather than avoid them. It paints a picture of someone really engaging with life, rather than removing the negatives and being left with a vague, listless emptiness. King phrases it as raising your vibrations and says that introspection is important for personal progress. I agree with the sentiment and agree that the space has to be filled by positive attitudes and thoughts.
- I loved King’s conviction to embrace the present and avoid living through a screen, living elsewhere rather than ‘right here’.
- King implements established mental health practices, writing that meditation is really concentration, being fully present whilst calmly observing thoughts at a distance without judgement. I’ve also noticed the difference that breathing with awareness makes.
- His belief in being kind to yourself reminds me of reminding oneself of the grace and love God has for each person, and embracing this.
- I agree that forgiveness and letting go is a profoundly healthy practice.
- He makes the observation that happiness from external things doesn’t last.
- I like the sentiment of taking responsibility for your own wellbeing.
Not good
- Throughout, I found that a very consumerist attitude pervaded Good Vibes Good Life. Even the way King talks about friendship, he tells his readers to get friends who are vibing higher than you. It makes life all about me.
- I found some of his thoughts problematic, particularly on the topic of depression. His philosophy indicated that people are in control of their ‘vibes’ and, by implication, that depression is a choice.
- It’s a lot of pressure! According to King, it’s on you to get what you want. Alternatively, a Christian view is one which flips this on its head – it sees dependence and trust in God as paradoxically strong.
- The life objective King seems to be preaching is pleasurable emotional experience. I think there’s a case to be made which says that chasing after the happiness drug isn’t the healthiest option. Being human means accepting and embracing the natural highs and lows of life and experiencing a depth and range of emotions. Maybe King is confusing avoidance of sadness with avoidance of mental illness, in which case I’m on board.
- King’s talk of toxic people didn’t sit right with me as it seemed to lack compassion and empathy. It created a picture in which inner peace is fragile and others are overly simplified.
- King seems to be advocating for a way of life where you choose what you believe, however I’m not sure this is realistic – you can’t force yourself to believe something.
Half-good
- King talks about manifesting – I don’t agree with the mechanics of this but think there’s truth in it. Choosing a positive attitude does make a difference. There’s something in the vibes theory but, to me, it seems vague and lacks clarity. Using a different model, for example a biblical ethic of interaction between self, others, and God, provides a worldview with more shape.
- King claims that every word emits a powerful vibration. The Bible also talks about words being important, however this seems to be in a more concrete way – looking at the impact it has on its speaker and listeners – than the abstract notion in the book.
- The philosophy contained in the book is evocative of a loving and joyful life. I see the beauty of this most fully in God.
- According to King, the ego is the self created by thought. It wants to be adored and to have instant gratification. Within King’s philosophy, he believes in focusing on one’s own life rather than belittling others. There is much common ground with a biblical idea of a person’s tendency towards selfishness, however the solution offered is one of surrendering self to God, rather than looking further inward. There are some things about ourselves which we don’t have the ability to resolve, which require rescue from something – or someone – else.
Here are some reflections on elements I found good, not good, and half-good. This is more a review of King’s ideas as communicated in the book, rather than the book itself.
Good
- King highlights the importance of body language and the way you hold yourself – I think there’s value in that. As embodied beings, posture and gestures communicate not only to others, but to ourselves also.
- He notes that natural environments improve mood – this prompted me to reflect on my own worldview which sees nature as a gift from God and a beautiful creation.
- King discourages his readers to engage in gossip as it preys on ego, is judgemental, stems from hatred and increases stress and anxiety.
- Being thankful and looking for the good in everything around you is encouraged – he talks about it being vital to happiness and giving perspective. Thankfulness creates a shift from the self to the self as situated in a larger whole, in relation to other beings, whether other people or God.
- I like King’s aim to challenge and transform negative thoughts rather than avoid them. It paints a picture of someone really engaging with life, rather than removing the negatives and being left with a vague, listless emptiness. King phrases it as raising your vibrations and says that introspection is important for personal progress. I agree with the sentiment and agree that the space has to be filled by positive attitudes and thoughts.
- I loved King’s conviction to embrace the present and avoid living through a screen, living elsewhere rather than ‘right here’.
- King implements established mental health practices, writing that meditation is really concentration, being fully present whilst calmly observing thoughts at a distance without judgement. I’ve also noticed the difference that breathing with awareness makes.
- His belief in being kind to yourself reminds me of reminding oneself of the grace and love God has for each person, and embracing this.
- I agree that forgiveness and letting go is a profoundly healthy practice.
- He makes the observation that happiness from external things doesn’t last.
- I like the sentiment of taking responsibility for your own wellbeing.
Not good
- Throughout, I found that a very consumerist attitude pervaded Good Vibes Good Life. Even the way King talks about friendship, he tells his readers to get friends who are vibing higher than you. It makes life all about me.
- I found some of his thoughts problematic, particularly on the topic of depression. His philosophy indicated that people are in control of their ‘vibes’ and, by implication, that depression is a choice.
- It’s a lot of pressure! According to King, it’s on you to get what you want. Alternatively, a Christian view is one which flips this on its head – it sees dependence and trust in God as paradoxically strong.
- The life objective King seems to be preaching is pleasurable emotional experience. I think there’s a case to be made which says that chasing after the happiness drug isn’t the healthiest option. Being human means accepting and embracing the natural highs and lows of life and experiencing a depth and range of emotions. Maybe King is confusing avoidance of sadness with avoidance of mental illness, in which case I’m on board.
- King’s talk of toxic people didn’t sit right with me as it seemed to lack compassion and empathy. It created a picture in which inner peace is fragile and others are overly simplified.
- King seems to be advocating for a way of life where you choose what you believe, however I’m not sure this is realistic – you can’t force yourself to believe something.
Half-good
- King talks about manifesting – I don’t agree with the mechanics of this but think there’s truth in it. Choosing a positive attitude does make a difference. There’s something in the vibes theory but, to me, it seems vague and lacks clarity. Using a different model, for example a biblical ethic of interaction between self, others, and God, provides a worldview with more shape.
- King claims that every word emits a powerful vibration. The Bible also talks about words being important, however this seems to be in a more concrete way – looking at the impact it has on its speaker and listeners – than the abstract notion in the book.
- The philosophy contained in the book is evocative of a loving and joyful life. I see the beauty of this most fully in God.
- According to King, the ego is the self created by thought. It wants to be adored and to have instant gratification. Within King’s philosophy, he believes in focusing on one’s own life rather than belittling others. There is much common ground with a biblical idea of a person’s tendency towards selfishness, however the solution offered is one of surrendering self to God, rather than looking further inward. There are some things about ourselves which we don’t have the ability to resolve, which require rescue from something – or someone – else.