A review by composed
Pitch Perfect: How to Say It Right the First Time, Every Time by Bill McGowan

4.0

Books about "effective communication" - i.e. getting people to respond in the way that you prefer - often come across like sneaky tricks for manipulation. Being genuine and vulnerable is an important part of how I present myself ideally, and if anything I'd like tips on how to do that in a way that isn't off-putting. Because unfortunately I've found myself in many situations when in an effort to be open and genuine I've either come on too strong or crossed some social boundary I didn't realize existed. This is due in part to having been homeschooled.

This book was both more helpful and less obnoxious than I would have expected. I appreciate that the author encourages you to practice in order to improve the skills mentioned, while pointing out that no one can or should be "on" all the time, and that it would be downright odd to suddenly start trying to manage everything you're saying to your family.

The writing was concise, and he presented most of the ideas fairly early, rather than dragging it out to keep you reading. I was pleased to find that some of the things I've thought of as personal flaws are apparently effective (like telling the same story in different ways to different people to see what people respond to best). I began formulating a more specific strategy for a difficult upcoming career-related conversation, and will actually practice instead of assuming that I'll figure it out in the moment.

Downsides: gendered language/lack of awareness of different genders. He's pretty good on the feminist front overall, but could acknowledge power dynamics more. It still does feel over the top to try to be "pitch perfect" in so many different situations, but at least it's as much from the perspective of making people happy and comfortable and not just smarmy advertising.

I'll probably read it again at some point.