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A review by maisoncetacea
A General Theory of Love by Thomas Lewis, Fari Amini, Richard Lannon
3.0
There is a lot to like about this book, and overall I think it's worth reading as long as you realize that, as is true of most mainstream books about science, there will be some oversimplification and oversight of the concepts discussed.
While the chapters delving into the actual neuroscientific and psychological research were riveting reading, I would caution readers looking for both background and solutions. The book is written to address newly emergent research on love and the brain, and it doesn't seem in the interest of the authors to talk about definitive solutions to the problems that can happen when the brain fails to develop adequate means of loving and relating to others. In fact, while the chapter on therapy is heartening and eye-opening (and makes me appreciate my own therapists in ways I never imagined), it doesn't really overcome the shadow cast by the grim prospects forecast by the authors. Moreover, I felt really uncomfortable with the assessment of Western culture given by the authors. It vastly oversimplified the course of history, virtually ignored how sexism and other forms of discrimination has in all likelihood hampered *many* people's ability to love well, and proposed solutions that sound pretty conservative and patently unrealistic.
I also take issue with the tired assumptions made about the Internet's impact on mental health, though my own objections are not grounded in scientific evidence. Just the sense that those who suffer social and emotional maladies likely benefit from the connections they make online, especially if they suffer bullying and discrimination in the offline world. I would really have liked to hear more from the authors about 'the rest of us' in this respect, and I think in that realm this book is cold in a lot of ways scientific books are. A lot of people may feel doomed by this nurture-is-destiny argument, but it's still a good read, and beats a lot of what's out there.
While the chapters delving into the actual neuroscientific and psychological research were riveting reading, I would caution readers looking for both background and solutions. The book is written to address newly emergent research on love and the brain, and it doesn't seem in the interest of the authors to talk about definitive solutions to the problems that can happen when the brain fails to develop adequate means of loving and relating to others. In fact, while the chapter on therapy is heartening and eye-opening (and makes me appreciate my own therapists in ways I never imagined), it doesn't really overcome the shadow cast by the grim prospects forecast by the authors. Moreover, I felt really uncomfortable with the assessment of Western culture given by the authors. It vastly oversimplified the course of history, virtually ignored how sexism and other forms of discrimination has in all likelihood hampered *many* people's ability to love well, and proposed solutions that sound pretty conservative and patently unrealistic.
I also take issue with the tired assumptions made about the Internet's impact on mental health, though my own objections are not grounded in scientific evidence. Just the sense that those who suffer social and emotional maladies likely benefit from the connections they make online, especially if they suffer bullying and discrimination in the offline world. I would really have liked to hear more from the authors about 'the rest of us' in this respect, and I think in that realm this book is cold in a lot of ways scientific books are. A lot of people may feel doomed by this nurture-is-destiny argument, but it's still a good read, and beats a lot of what's out there.