A review by bookishchef
Out of the Blue by Jason June

funny medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

1.5


I really wanted to like this. 
Fake dating and the chubby filmbro falls for non binary merperson? 
That sounds amazing! 
However...  It's not. 

As a chubby ex-media major who used to swim competitively, I really want to like Sean. The guy literally has a lot of the same life experiences as I do. So, I thought he would be super super relatable. 

He wasn't. 

His tendency to turn real life events into small movies in his head, felt unrealistic and was annoying to read. 

It comes down to entire paragraphs being written like this: 

"Scene 1: Dominic and I make out. Close up.
Scene 2: Dominic and I still make out. Mid shot. 
Scene 3: Dominic and I are still making out. Wide shot" 

Like bitch please. I had the film/camera brainrot for a while while I was in uni too, but never THAT bad. People don't think in shotlists THAT much.

He constantly thinks of his life as a plot in a movie too. And while I get that to some extent, he insists that his life will follow movie cliches too. He'll make Dominic jealous and they'll have to kiss and make up by prom because that's oh so romantic and oh so dramatic. 

Honey, this is real life. Even media majors know the difference between real life and movie cliches and shorthand. He treats the people around him like sidecharacters. Stop 🛑. 

Crest isn't much better. I wanted to like them, I really did. Like wow a non binary merperson? And they're sassy and kind of a cunt too? They had all the potential to become my favourite character. 

BUT the way they're written is just so cringe. The bumbling idiocy around human culture isn't cute, it's really really cringe.

There are detailed descriptions of kissing and how boners work and it honestly made me a little nauseous. I really did not need the detailed mental image of a tongue being halfway down someone else's throat. When described that way, it sounds super gross. 

And as you can tell from all the complaints so far, the writing is mostly where my issues with this book lie. The writing is cringey, overly childish and very repetitive. The repetition wasn't just in the writing style either. It was also in the specific words chosen. I think I've heard the phrases "bubble guts", "donkey laugh", "jellyfish tingles", "Dominic looked crestfallen", "the romcom of my life", and "that weird eel moved" (TO DESCRIBE SOMEONE'S DICK), at least a million times. Half of those are metaphors. And they weren't even good metaphors the first time they were used. Let alone the bazillionth time. 

Unfortunately, there's also some story beats that hit me wrong. Sean is kind of toxic sometimes. And so is his relationship with Crest.  

By the end, their relationship is disgusting and Sean is a massive dickhead. This doesn't feel like a romance at all. I truly don't think it is one. 

:(

 
Sean viewing everything as a movie becomes a problem. And I love that Kavya eventually calls him out on it. 
Sean *is* manipulative. Sean *is* selfish. He doesn't consider Miguel's feelings, or even really Dominic's or Crest's. He forces Crest into a fake relationship. He enjoys it when Crest and Dominic fight over him! 

Yet, the plot rewards him for it. By the end, Crest wants to be with Sean again.

Sean is the first person Crest meets and shows them kindness. Crest is a bumbling idiot when it comes to the human world. And is oh so innocent. And of course, that means Crest gets attached to Sean. He's confused and needs guidance. But Sean doesn't seem aware of that power imbalance. Of that dependency that Crest has on him (even though Crest outright says "what am I supposed to do without you?")

So their entire relationship hit me wrong. It felt icky. 

Sean getting angry at Crest when Crest tries to fuck Drop? Literally gtfo. Y'all weren't exclusive. You called yourselves friends with benefits for fuck's sake. That does not imply exclusivity!

That entire speech against Crest was vile. And really made me hate Sean. Sean calling Crest selfish? Humans destroy merpeople's ecosystem and environment constantly, and this enby STILL came out to help someone, against their own wishes. That's literally the most selfless thing. So Sean can fuck all the way off. 

Yet, Crest does a full 180.
After that speech, they get angry with Drop instead of Sean. Tell DROP that Drop and Crest weren't exclusive so Crest should be allowed to fuck Sean??? 

What???

Is it opposites day or some shit? They should get mad at Sean! Telling them they're not exclusive so Crest is allowed to fuck Drop! I feel like I'm going insane. 

And then suddenly Miguel and Sean are best friends? And Miguel wants Sean to get back with Crest despite thinking Crest cheated on Sean? 

Insane behaviour. 

And then Crest basically admits to themselves that they just want physical contact with Sean and not much else. Which is valid but HOW TF is that romantic?

Then Kavya admits to Sean that she called Drop to Crest. And that somehow makes Sean forgive Crest for what he perceives as cheating? Like... Crest made the voluntary decision to hook up with Drop. Whether Kavya caused Drop to show up or not, Crest still jumped at the opportunity to fuck Drop. Kavya didn't force them to do that. So why does Sean forgive them? 

And then due to PLOT somehow both Crest and Sean end up as merpeople. Crest does another 180 and suddenly wants to be with Sean for more than just physical stuff. The "love" word is dropped. 
And then Sean decides that he DOES NOT want to be together with Crest and Sean becomes a human again. 

SO HOW THE FUCK IS THIS A ROMANCE

 


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