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A review by lory_enterenchanted
Mother Hunger: How Adult Daughters Can Understand and Heal from Lost Nurturance, Protection, and Guidance by Kelly McDaniel
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
medium-paced
4.0
Reviews and more on my blog: Entering the Enchanted Castle
Wish I'd had access to these concepts before I became a mother myself, went through undiagnosed postpartum depression, and spent years feeling like a failure and blaming and judging myself for the harm done to my child through interrupted bonding. I hope that more people can heal from mother hunger through this work and cut the cycle short. It's still worth it to me to heal at this late stage, but the earlier the better.
I appreciate McDaniel's calm, soothing presentation and her emphasis on healing the injury rather than villainizing "toxic" mothers. One of the most important points is made at the end: in order to nurture, protect, and guide, mothers need nurturance, protection and guidance themselves, not only in childhood, but throughout life and especially in the vital stage of early motherhood. May this work come to be valued and supported in accord with its true worth, which is immeasurable. Our culture has a long way to go but at least there are some voices speaking up for the healing of the mother wound, which damages us all.
As with I Don't Want To Talk About It, I wish this was not so narrowly focused on one gender. Men suffer tremendously from mother hunger, and women from covert depression (the subject of the other book). In fact, I think that lack of nurturance often causes the covert depression. This is not a gendered issue, but a human issue and must be foregrounded in our quest for better health. I understand the desire to support women (or men) in particular, but the other side has to be addressed too, at some point.
I also wish there were not such a narrow focus on sexual issues. Girls don't just need protection and guidance in that realm, but in the whole gamut of emotional, intellectual, and spiritual development. This, too, really needs more attention.
Wish I'd had access to these concepts before I became a mother myself, went through undiagnosed postpartum depression, and spent years feeling like a failure and blaming and judging myself for the harm done to my child through interrupted bonding. I hope that more people can heal from mother hunger through this work and cut the cycle short. It's still worth it to me to heal at this late stage, but the earlier the better.
I appreciate McDaniel's calm, soothing presentation and her emphasis on healing the injury rather than villainizing "toxic" mothers. One of the most important points is made at the end: in order to nurture, protect, and guide, mothers need nurturance, protection and guidance themselves, not only in childhood, but throughout life and especially in the vital stage of early motherhood. May this work come to be valued and supported in accord with its true worth, which is immeasurable. Our culture has a long way to go but at least there are some voices speaking up for the healing of the mother wound, which damages us all.
As with I Don't Want To Talk About It, I wish this was not so narrowly focused on one gender. Men suffer tremendously from mother hunger, and women from covert depression (the subject of the other book). In fact, I think that lack of nurturance often causes the covert depression. This is not a gendered issue, but a human issue and must be foregrounded in our quest for better health. I understand the desire to support women (or men) in particular, but the other side has to be addressed too, at some point.
I also wish there were not such a narrow focus on sexual issues. Girls don't just need protection and guidance in that realm, but in the whole gamut of emotional, intellectual, and spiritual development. This, too, really needs more attention.