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A review by zoet
The Gathering Dark by Christine Johnson
1.0
I cannot tell you how happy and how I angry I am about this book. Happy that I'm finally done with it. Angry that I wasted days reading the longest 512 pages. In. My. Life.
This book was so bad that I had to make a new shelf for it. The "just effing horrible" shelf- yeah that was not there five minutes ago. But how could I let this book just sit around not properly shelved. At least now, with my new and self explanatory shelf, this piece of shite is where it belongs.
I want to tell you everything that was horrible about this book, but it may take me days and you most likely will get uninterested so then you will miss all of the horrible things about this book! SO!! In order to keep it brief and keep you entertained while still taking in the warning I am telling you about this book! I shall begin!
First off. The main character. Now I've read the perspective A LOT of bad and horribly dull main characters. But Keira Brannon absolutely takes the fucking cake. Just kidding. She takes the whole bakery. This girl was terribly cliched. (Beyond this book being one giant cliche) Keira is described to be "prideful", "quiet and introverted", "strong", "stubborn", and "humbly beautiful"
OH WOW. WHERE HAS ANYONE NOT SEEN ONE OF THOSE girls. Except with Keira, while other girls are endearing and cute about their cliched personalities, Keira was just annoying that I literally wanted to stab her. When someone's trying to pay for something, she stubbornly refuses profusely to the point where she's COMPLAINING about how much pride she has. and when someone just saved her life, she can't just fucking say thank you. Noooo she has to say "well I don't really want to be the damsel in distress".
Then beyond Keira- there is Christine Johnson. The author. The author who is unbelievable to think that she can actually get away with writing something so tedious and expect it to be a great hit. No. I'm sorry Christine. Hate to fucking piss all over your morning breakfast. But it does not work like that. When you have AWKWARD WRITING. INSENSIBLE SIMILES. STRANGE DIALOGUE BETWEEN CHARACTERS (no really... after reading this, I somewhat believe that Christine Johnson has not had human interaction in some twenty+ years as it's understood she doesn't know how people talk to each other) HORRIBLE DESCRIPTION OF CHARACTERS. NO CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. STALE AND MEANINGLESS PROTAGONISTS. CHUNKY SENTENCE STRUCTURES. AND CHAPTERS THAT ARE JUST A LONG AND ARDUOUS TREK FORWARD
No. No your book will most definitely NOT be successful.
And no I do not want to overuse my review with gifs to further perspective- so let me give you some examples of just the crappiest writing that I've encountered in a very long time.
"The oily-smooth voice cracked her focus like an egg smashing against a windowpane
Oh god. And guess where this example is found? On the first page. This did not comfort me and my doubts about continuing to read, but I was intrigued by the synopsis given... And so results- I was lied to.
""Fancy meeting you here," he said, light as spun sugar and nearly as sweet."
"Then the nightmare wouldn't be a nightmare anymore. It would be real." Oh lord -___- Are you for real?
""Keira?" Jeremy's face was pink as an Easter ham...
Oh? Okay?? My what as sight? I suppose??
"She crossed over so quickly that it hurt. It was like she'd been shoved through a meat slicer..."
Oh god, don't you just hate it when THAT happens?
""After everything we've been through, the way I feel when I look at you, when I think about losing you--" Walker shook his head. "I don't know WHAT we are. I don't know that there's even a word for it. not in either of our worlds. But I do know that it's a hell of a lot more than a boyfriend.""
Come on now. Are there really no boyfriends out there that love their girlfriends? Do boyfriends just call themselves boyfriends while asking their girlfriends to make them a sammich as they're digging through the contents of their belly button? Unaware of any reasons why they are boyfriends?
What the hell does Johnson think a boyfriend is? and what a boyfriend can and cannot be.
Beyond my problem with the author... and unsure of how she even decided to become one in the first place as she decided to just share her weird similes, that don't work because no one can relate to them (have you ever been shoved in a meat slicer?) with the unprepared world. No beyond that, I also just had a problem with the story's plot.
In reviews below and above, countless people say that the idea of "dark matter" is interesting and intriguing... Well... to really save you-- I would just like to tell you that it's not. IN the reality of things, in this book, there's next to no explanation of any dark matter in any anatomically correct way having to do with physics or chemistry and how that affected the story line. "Dark matter" is a phrased thrown around, but the author didn't do her research, and she didn't think that maybe she can't just put a topic in a story- as one of the bigger plot ideas- with no constructive evidence and just expect it to stand on its own.
The idea of a dark mattered world layered over the human world. That's intriguing. But if only it was actually explained upon and delved into- then maybe I could have gotten into it more and this book would have deserved a higher ranking. but it wasn't. And I was disappointed.
Then, moving on, lets break down the summary given, shall we? Here is what you are told:
A mysterious teen boy knows the secrets of Keira’s dangerous hallucinations in this gripping romantic fantasy from the author of Claire de Lune.
Keira’s hallucinating. First it’s a door hovering above the road; then it’s a tree in her living room. But with her parents fighting and her best friend not speaking to her, Keira can’t tell anyone about her breakdown.
Until she meets Walker. They have an electric connection, and somehow he can see the same shadowy images plaguing Keira.
But trusting Walker may be more dangerous than Keira could have ever imagined. The more she confides in him, the more intense—and frightening—her visions become. Because Walker is not what he appears to be. And neither are her visions
SOunds interesting no? But here is what is actually hiding slyly behind such beautiful covers.
1) Keira did not want to tell anyone about her images that she was seeing. She didn't even want to tell herself as her stubbornness just chalked it up to her weird habits of not sleeping, playing the piano like a drug addict abuses crack, and not eating enough sustenance to, I don't know, live. So it's not like she was really all alone and trapped in her own disturbing and otherworldly troubles-- definitely not how it's made to seem that way.
2) Walker and Keira do not have an electric connection Their "love story" was barely developed (really they just meet, talk some, and bam they are just instantly ready to hump each other). How they met was that they literally cracked each other's skulls as they banged into one another reaching to pick up music fallen to the ground. And then after that they only saw each other a couple times as Keira didn't want to start a relationship with anyone as she had to practice her piano, I then fathomed why Keira even liked Walker and vice versa. Walker described Keira as "beautiful beyond belief" but how is the audience supposed to understand that when we are even withheld from seeing what Keira truly looks like. The most we can assume is that she has red hair and is pale. (that's original) So unlike what we are thought to believe as we read this book's summary with innocent curiosity, Walker and Keira aren't electrically connecting. In fact... they are as connecting as two bricks. Just sitting there... being their brick selves.
3) The intrigue builds up to nothing. Honestly the whole batch of eye- catchers like "Walker is not who he seems to be! and neither are these hallucinations!" and "Walker may be more trouble the Keira expected!" they are diluted with the fact that this much excitement- from the summary- is more than you will get from the entire book. The entire book who's shockers, are not so shocking, but really 100% predictable, and who's cliff hangers are "Oh no! But that voice sounded oh so so so familiar!" and "and gasp. Then I was falling!"
Thanks summary for getting my hopes up. Just thanks.
And so because I said this review would be brief (in comparison to all what I wanted to say) I would like to tell you that I do not recommend this book- but if you are truly interested in reading it, even after reading this review. I tell you to read it at your own discretion and be prepared to set aside some heavy break times from daily life as this book. Well... It's hefty. And if you are still really faithful to this book? Remember to push through the first 300 pages or so. It's a long trek but boy it sure is worth it ... the scenery is pretty ... it... It just shows how tough you are!! Rock on.
Good night everyone and as I have begun to say
Happy Readings folks
-Zoe
Check out some of my other reviews,
here are my most recent ones on Forbidden by Tabitha Suzuma [bookcover:Forbidden|7600924] ---> https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/323864181
Fifty Shades Darker by E.L James [bookcover:Fifty Shades Darker|11857408] ---> https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/323864181
and Out of The Easy by Ruta Sepetys [bookcover:Out of the Easy|11178225] ---> https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/565658842
This book was so bad that I had to make a new shelf for it. The "just effing horrible" shelf- yeah that was not there five minutes ago. But how could I let this book just sit around not properly shelved. At least now, with my new and self explanatory shelf, this piece of shite is where it belongs.
I want to tell you everything that was horrible about this book, but it may take me days and you most likely will get uninterested so then you will miss all of the horrible things about this book! SO!! In order to keep it brief and keep you entertained while still taking in the warning I am telling you about this book! I shall begin!
First off. The main character. Now I've read the perspective A LOT of bad and horribly dull main characters. But Keira Brannon absolutely takes the fucking cake. Just kidding. She takes the whole bakery. This girl was terribly cliched. (Beyond this book being one giant cliche) Keira is described to be "prideful", "quiet and introverted", "strong", "stubborn", and "humbly beautiful"
OH WOW. WHERE HAS ANYONE NOT SEEN ONE OF THOSE girls. Except with Keira, while other girls are endearing and cute about their cliched personalities, Keira was just annoying that I literally wanted to stab her. When someone's trying to pay for something, she stubbornly refuses profusely to the point where she's COMPLAINING about how much pride she has. and when someone just saved her life, she can't just fucking say thank you. Noooo she has to say "well I don't really want to be the damsel in distress".
Then beyond Keira- there is Christine Johnson. The author. The author who is unbelievable to think that she can actually get away with writing something so tedious and expect it to be a great hit. No. I'm sorry Christine. Hate to fucking piss all over your morning breakfast. But it does not work like that. When you have AWKWARD WRITING. INSENSIBLE SIMILES. STRANGE DIALOGUE BETWEEN CHARACTERS (no really... after reading this, I somewhat believe that Christine Johnson has not had human interaction in some twenty+ years as it's understood she doesn't know how people talk to each other) HORRIBLE DESCRIPTION OF CHARACTERS. NO CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. STALE AND MEANINGLESS PROTAGONISTS. CHUNKY SENTENCE STRUCTURES. AND CHAPTERS THAT ARE JUST A LONG AND ARDUOUS TREK FORWARD
No. No your book will most definitely NOT be successful.
And no I do not want to overuse my review with gifs to further perspective- so let me give you some examples of just the crappiest writing that I've encountered in a very long time.
"The oily-smooth voice cracked her focus like an egg smashing against a windowpane
Oh god. And guess where this example is found? On the first page. This did not comfort me and my doubts about continuing to read, but I was intrigued by the synopsis given... And so results- I was lied to.
""Fancy meeting you here," he said, light as spun sugar and nearly as sweet."
"Then the nightmare wouldn't be a nightmare anymore. It would be real." Oh lord -___- Are you for real?
""Keira?" Jeremy's face was pink as an Easter ham...
Oh? Okay?? My what as sight? I suppose??
"She crossed over so quickly that it hurt. It was like she'd been shoved through a meat slicer..."
Oh god, don't you just hate it when THAT happens?
""After everything we've been through, the way I feel when I look at you, when I think about losing you--" Walker shook his head. "I don't know WHAT we are. I don't know that there's even a word for it. not in either of our worlds. But I do know that it's a hell of a lot more than a boyfriend.""
Come on now. Are there really no boyfriends out there that love their girlfriends? Do boyfriends just call themselves boyfriends while asking their girlfriends to make them a sammich as they're digging through the contents of their belly button? Unaware of any reasons why they are boyfriends?
What the hell does Johnson think a boyfriend is? and what a boyfriend can and cannot be.
Beyond my problem with the author... and unsure of how she even decided to become one in the first place as she decided to just share her weird similes, that don't work because no one can relate to them (have you ever been shoved in a meat slicer?) with the unprepared world. No beyond that, I also just had a problem with the story's plot.
In reviews below and above, countless people say that the idea of "dark matter" is interesting and intriguing... Well... to really save you-- I would just like to tell you that it's not. IN the reality of things, in this book, there's next to no explanation of any dark matter in any anatomically correct way having to do with physics or chemistry and how that affected the story line. "Dark matter" is a phrased thrown around, but the author didn't do her research, and she didn't think that maybe she can't just put a topic in a story- as one of the bigger plot ideas- with no constructive evidence and just expect it to stand on its own.
The idea of a dark mattered world layered over the human world. That's intriguing. But if only it was actually explained upon and delved into- then maybe I could have gotten into it more and this book would have deserved a higher ranking. but it wasn't. And I was disappointed.
Then, moving on, lets break down the summary given, shall we? Here is what you are told:
A mysterious teen boy knows the secrets of Keira’s dangerous hallucinations in this gripping romantic fantasy from the author of Claire de Lune.
Keira’s hallucinating. First it’s a door hovering above the road; then it’s a tree in her living room. But with her parents fighting and her best friend not speaking to her, Keira can’t tell anyone about her breakdown.
Until she meets Walker. They have an electric connection, and somehow he can see the same shadowy images plaguing Keira.
But trusting Walker may be more dangerous than Keira could have ever imagined. The more she confides in him, the more intense—and frightening—her visions become. Because Walker is not what he appears to be. And neither are her visions
SOunds interesting no? But here is what is actually hiding slyly behind such beautiful covers.
1) Keira did not want to tell anyone about her images that she was seeing. She didn't even want to tell herself as her stubbornness just chalked it up to her weird habits of not sleeping, playing the piano like a drug addict abuses crack, and not eating enough sustenance to, I don't know, live. So it's not like she was really all alone and trapped in her own disturbing and otherworldly troubles-- definitely not how it's made to seem that way.
2) Walker and Keira do not have an electric connection Their "love story" was barely developed (really they just meet, talk some, and bam they are just instantly ready to hump each other). How they met was that they literally cracked each other's skulls as they banged into one another reaching to pick up music fallen to the ground. And then after that they only saw each other a couple times as Keira didn't want to start a relationship with anyone as she had to practice her piano, I then fathomed why Keira even liked Walker and vice versa. Walker described Keira as "beautiful beyond belief" but how is the audience supposed to understand that when we are even withheld from seeing what Keira truly looks like. The most we can assume is that she has red hair and is pale. (that's original) So unlike what we are thought to believe as we read this book's summary with innocent curiosity, Walker and Keira aren't electrically connecting. In fact... they are as connecting as two bricks. Just sitting there... being their brick selves.
3) The intrigue builds up to nothing. Honestly the whole batch of eye- catchers like "Walker is not who he seems to be! and neither are these hallucinations!" and "Walker may be more trouble the Keira expected!" they are diluted with the fact that this much excitement- from the summary- is more than you will get from the entire book. The entire book who's shockers, are not so shocking, but really 100% predictable, and who's cliff hangers are "Oh no! But that voice sounded oh so so so familiar!" and "and gasp. Then I was falling!"
Thanks summary for getting my hopes up. Just thanks.
And so because I said this review would be brief (in comparison to all what I wanted to say) I would like to tell you that I do not recommend this book- but if you are truly interested in reading it, even after reading this review. I tell you to read it at your own discretion and be prepared to set aside some heavy break times from daily life as this book. Well... It's hefty. And if you are still really faithful to this book? Remember to push through the first 300 pages or so. It's a long trek but boy it
Good night everyone and as I have begun to say
Happy Readings folks
-Zoe
Check out some of my other reviews,
here are my most recent ones on Forbidden by Tabitha Suzuma [bookcover:Forbidden|7600924] ---> https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/323864181
Fifty Shades Darker by E.L James [bookcover:Fifty Shades Darker|11857408] ---> https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/323864181
and Out of The Easy by Ruta Sepetys [bookcover:Out of the Easy|11178225] ---> https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/565658842