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A review by amandakitz
Autism in Heels: The Untold Story of a Female Life on the Spectrum by Jennifer Cook O'Toole
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
medium-paced
3.0
As a fellow gifted, late-diagnosed autistic, I related to much of this book. She spoke powerfully concerning her own experience, research, and accomplishments, and her commentary on bullying, self-harm, and domestic abuse in the lives of girls and women on the spectrum was moving and gave me an avenue to process many experiences I hadn't processed before.
I can see how some autists would struggle to connect with her giftedness, and I struggled to connect with her material privilege often through this book. There are many privileges that would make her story unrelatable to various people. With that in mind, I found it powerful to see her illustrate that giftedness, conventional attractiveness or "pretty privilege", accomplishments and accolades, fame and fortune still do not overpower the perceptions and expectations neurotypical people have of us and the trauma they can cause. Every time she mentioned one of those privileges and I was tempted to disconnect, I leaned into the message that no privilege protects you from how neurotypicals treat autistic people. I wish she had addressed those privileges and how intersectional identities compound the disadvantages we as autistic people face.
There is one section that is truly problematic. In one section, the author coopts Sojourner Truth's "Aint I a Woman?" speech to make a comment about how neurotypical women treat neurodivergent women as lesser. The well-deserved criticism of this section and the failure to acknowledge her privilege in light of the intersectional identities of folks with marginalized genders on the spectrum should be considered. I hope she listens, honors that criticism, and updates later editions.
I can see how some autists would struggle to connect with her giftedness, and I struggled to connect with her material privilege often through this book. There are many privileges that would make her story unrelatable to various people. With that in mind, I found it powerful to see her illustrate that giftedness, conventional attractiveness or "pretty privilege", accomplishments and accolades, fame and fortune still do not overpower the perceptions and expectations neurotypical people have of us and the trauma they can cause. Every time she mentioned one of those privileges and I was tempted to disconnect, I leaned into the message that no privilege protects you from how neurotypicals treat autistic people. I wish she had addressed those privileges and how intersectional identities compound the disadvantages we as autistic people face.
There is one section that is truly problematic. In one section, the author coopts Sojourner Truth's "Aint I a Woman?" speech to make a comment about how neurotypical women treat neurodivergent women as lesser. The well-deserved criticism of this section and the failure to acknowledge her privilege in light of the intersectional identities of folks with marginalized genders on the spectrum should be considered. I hope she listens, honors that criticism, and updates later editions.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Ableism, Bullying, Domestic abuse, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Medical trauma, Gaslighting, and Sexual harassment
Minor: Child death, Racism, Terminal illness, and Death of parent
There are accounts of medical trauma, gaslighting, and abuse throughout, with whole chapters on bullying, domestic violence, and self harm/eating disorders. She includes warnings at the beginning of those chapters with permission to skip.