A review by geo_ix
Colters' Woman by Maya Banks
2.0
Okay, so the idea of this book appealed to me. I thought, what the hey, ménage book, cool. I didn't really read too much into the synopsis, normal for me as half of them give the whole thing away with one line. So anyway, I went in blind and came out more blind than I was in the beginning.
Why? Because I was so fucking baffled that it was so incredibly not believable. She is mid 20's, a virgin, and ran away from her husband on her wedding night because he's super killer and shot a man dead that day. So, she runs away from him, lays dying in a ditch in the snow, and these guys find her and take her in, get her all neked and touch her and stuff! And she wakes up all like, what the hell oh he's super hot.
AREYOUFUCKINGKIDDINGME?!?!? No matter how hot some guy and his brothers are, if I was like super close to dying, and I woke up and some guy had his hand between my damn legs, he wouldn't have a dick anymore! Holy shit this girl is fucking stupid. She seems to feel all safe with people she doesn't know fuck all about but instead of worrying too much about her psycho husband, she's more worried about three incredibly hot guys who basically picked her up and took her hostage in their house, and whether or not she's good enough for them. She loses her virginity with a billion penises in every damn hole they can get it in, except her butt hole, they leave that for the next fucking time! HOWSWEET.
And what's with the whole, this is how our family operates... Does that mean they always have boys, always have three? Like, just thinking about it is super gross. I'm all for menage stories but FAMILY MEMBERS? Even if you're not touching them that's gross to me. Couldn't this just have been metaphorical bothers? I could have totally handled that! But no, they're blood brothers.
As for the actual story minus the sex scenes? Oh yeah. There isn't one. Okay, so there is, but there's so much sex it practically looks non existent.
Why? Because I was so fucking baffled that it was so incredibly not believable. She is mid 20's, a virgin, and ran away from her husband on her wedding night because he's super killer and shot a man dead that day. So, she runs away from him, lays dying in a ditch in the snow, and these guys find her and take her in, get her all neked and touch her and stuff! And she wakes up all like, what the hell oh he's super hot.
AREYOUFUCKINGKIDDINGME?!?!? No matter how hot some guy and his brothers are, if I was like super close to dying, and I woke up and some guy had his hand between my damn legs, he wouldn't have a dick anymore! Holy shit this girl is fucking stupid. She seems to feel all safe with people she doesn't know fuck all about but instead of worrying too much about her psycho husband, she's more worried about three incredibly hot guys who basically picked her up and took her hostage in their house, and whether or not she's good enough for them. She loses her virginity with a billion penises in every damn hole they can get it in, except her butt hole, they leave that for the next fucking time! HOWSWEET.
And what's with the whole, this is how our family operates... Does that mean they always have boys, always have three? Like, just thinking about it is super gross. I'm all for menage stories but FAMILY MEMBERS? Even if you're not touching them that's gross to me. Couldn't this just have been metaphorical bothers? I could have totally handled that! But no, they're blood brothers.
As for the actual story minus the sex scenes? Oh yeah. There isn't one. Okay, so there is, but there's so much sex it practically looks non existent.