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A review by indiekay
Only One Coffin by A.J. Truman
2.0
DNFing at 70%
So I knew from the cover and the name alone that this is going to be silly - which is fine! I'm not a huge fan of silly, but if it's done well I can go for it. But I'm not a huge fan of vampire lore that'd THIS silly - and I was thinking "well just pretend it's in the same universe as What We Do in the Shadows and it'll be fine!" but none of it made sense. What do you mean they can turn into bats and fly, but then they're worried about falling into the volcano because they might not be able to get out of the crater??? And Alvin and the Chipmunks was named after 3 dudes that turned into vampires? HUH
The two things that made me decide to DNF this is when they find some dead bodies of vampire hunters in a camping site and they can't tell what killed them and the bodies are still warm, and then they suck all the blood out of the bodies??? WHAT??? Like that just seems like such a bad idea. And I definitely prefer vampire lore in which they can't eat dead blood.
And the second thing that completely turned me off was that they said vampire assholes are self-lubricated, "vampires are naturally lubricated... some believe it's the blood diet", WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?? The sex scene was also just so goofy, "Our room turned into a pinball course, and we were the ball". I could not take that seriously.
The writing style isn't bad, and the book is 180 pages, so at least it's not drawn out. But yeah I'm just not going to be able to keep reading after that sex scene.
So I knew from the cover and the name alone that this is going to be silly - which is fine! I'm not a huge fan of silly, but if it's done well I can go for it. But I'm not a huge fan of vampire lore that'd THIS silly - and I was thinking "well just pretend it's in the same universe as What We Do in the Shadows and it'll be fine!" but none of it made sense. What do you mean they can turn into bats and fly, but then they're worried about falling into the volcano because they might not be able to get out of the crater??? And Alvin and the Chipmunks was named after 3 dudes that turned into vampires? HUH
The two things that made me decide to DNF this is when they find some dead bodies of vampire hunters in a camping site and they can't tell what killed them and the bodies are still warm, and then they suck all the blood out of the bodies??? WHAT??? Like that just seems like such a bad idea. And I definitely prefer vampire lore in which they can't eat dead blood.
And the second thing that completely turned me off was that they said vampire assholes are self-lubricated, "vampires are naturally lubricated... some believe it's the blood diet", WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?? The sex scene was also just so goofy, "Our room turned into a pinball course, and we were the ball". I could not take that seriously.
The writing style isn't bad, and the book is 180 pages, so at least it's not drawn out. But yeah I'm just not going to be able to keep reading after that sex scene.