A review by dobando_
My Thoughts Exactly by Lily Allen

5.0

I want to speak up, and if that means I sometimes get it wrong, then I should be able to correct myself, apologise, move on and still carry on speaking up. As a woman, I’m not meant to be an angel or a saint or a martyr or to have faultless encyclopaedic answers all the time. I’m a woman only, and, like all women, I don’t ask for special treatment. Like all women, I just ask not to be repressed or silenced.

This is a book that you will find either too boring and depressing, or really deep and meaningful. For me, it was the latter.

First off, I have to say that I completely love Lily Allen and all of her work, she's an amazing musician and an even better writer. She starts the book making some bold statements (as you can read in the description), and it's clear that she won't sugarcoat anything. She writes about coming from a privileged but also very disfunctional family, and how her experiences as a child shaped the insecure and often prone to self-destructive behaviours woman she then became.

As someone who has lived (and survived ) through trauma, I found this book very relatable. From the relationship with his dad, who didn't seem to care much about her life, to the abuse she had to endure from men in position of power, I think this story is a mirror of a lot of women's lives. Despite of her fame she's a real person, so she adresses real people's problems: struggling with mental health, abuse of substances, a failed marriage, harmful defense mechanisms and emotional pain, tons of it. She's privileged but tries to make changes from her position. She has made mistakes and hurt people, but she's also authentic, strong and inspiring. She's human.

I felt like I’d been in trauma mode for several years, but I thought, I’m aware of that, and self-awareness is a powerful force. I thought, Things are going to change and they’re going to get better. I thought, I’m a fighter. I’m strong. The struggle is no bad thing. Good work comes out of it.

This is not a pretty story about the life of a white, rich woman. This is a story, sometimes ugly, about trauma and abuse and the dirty side of fame. It's a story about sex and drugs and a lot of mistakes. But it's also a story full of growth, creativity and self-love. This is not the truth but her truth.

This is my first time reading a memoir, and while I was expecting it to get boring from time to time, I was surprised to find that the way it was written (not in a chronological order but divided by topics such as sex, family, education, work, etc.) made it easier to read and everything just flows, so I really enjoyed it. Finally, I loved how there's this hint of feminism through the book how the message seems to be that we, as women, are not weak, we are not perfect and we make mistakes, but we can be talented, strong, we can speak our minds and not let anyone walk over us. We are powerful and we can change the world.