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A review by kristinhunziker
Beneath Cruel Fathoms by Anela Deen
Did not finish book.
1.0
Overall: ☆☆☆☆☆ (0 stars)
Reading this story is like spotting a delicious, shiny bowl of strawberries and raspberries on your counter, grabbing a ripe berry, anticipating the explosion of sweet flavor, but quickly realizing that the fruit is just a ceramic decoration. So disappointing!
⚠️ Spoilers below ⚠️
Character development: ★☆☆☆☆
Two-dimensional, wooden characters. Leonel's mommy issues are almost interesting, except the writing is so reliant on bad exposition that I can't interest myself in his inner monologues.
In one scene, Isaura is brave while she floats in the water after the shipwreck. I give her credit for having a personality, but bravery is also the most-overused protagonist profile of all time. If an author is going to use this profile, they need to do it well.
Additionally, Isaura thinks her infertility renders her "broken." UGH. Although there's nothing wrong with this emotional profile in theory, it's very, very overused. In the hands of many writers, it's also sexist. I didn't get far enough into the story and I can't comment on how this author used the infertility = broken trope, but it definitely raised my hackles as soon as I saw it.
At the end of the first act, Isaura and Leonel agree that they're going to investigate the magical storms. I had a very hard time believing Isaura would do this because (1) there's nothing in it for her (no threat to her or her family, no achievement to unlock; she doesn't even like Leonel!), and (2) wouldn't she feel some residual fear from her traumatic shipwreck? She doesn't exhibit what I would consider normal emotions, and she doesn't have any reason to do the things. Contrived!
Plot: 0/10
Contrived plot and heavy reliance on bad exposition. It's all telling, no showing. I don't know how the story ended because I DNF, but the plot felt VERY predictable. Leonel and Isaura were obviously going to fall in love. There is obviously going to be some connection between the hijinks on land and sea. Leonel thinks he's the last of the merpeople, but there's also a secret locked away in the Orom Abyss. His mother tells him that under no circumstances is he allowed to visit the elephant graveyard. I wonder what it could be?? (It's probably the rest of his people, or at least the secret of why his people disappeared.)
The entire plot stems from the fact that Leonel can sense that magic causes the storms. The story states this directly without doing any work to invest the reader in the world or the stakes. Why does Leonel care about the storms? They don't appear to harm him or his seas, so why does he care? He's the "guardian," but the reader has no idea what that entails or why the storms harm the sea.
I nearly threw the book across the room when Leonel announced that he knows that magic causes the storms, and he knows there's some mysterious, malevolent force causing them. How does he know? Why don't Leonel and Isaura ever discuss the possibility that these are normal storms that normally sink ships? This major plot driver is both contrived and delivered as exposition.
World-building: 3/10
The land characters all have Scandinavian names names (e.g., Isaura Johannisdottir), and there are several references to Norse gods. In theory, combining Norse mythology and mermaid tropes is a really cool and unique idea. I would love a story like this that was well-executed.
But we never get a sense of what people eat, what they wear, how they worship. What songs do they sing, and what are the gender roles? What are their political structures like, and their economy? Their society is made up of islands and sailing is very important. Do they have a mercantile culture like the Republic of Venice, or a pillaging culture the way the English wrote about medieval Northmen? There's no world-building in this story except what is absolutely necessary.
The first moment I knew I'd probably hate this story is when Leonel thought to himself that saving Isaura would break the Blue Laws. He never explains what the Blue Laws are, nor why it serves mer society to keep merfolk and humans separate. Despite mentioning several more times that he's a bad person (bad merman?) for breaking the Blue Laws, Leonel never elaborates. It's a textbook example of contrived conflict.
I think that perhaps the author wanted to use the Blue Laws to invoke a traditional mermaid trope of keeping the societies separate. In particular, mermaids usually fear humans discovering their existence. But in this case, Leonel never explains what role the Blue Laws serve for mer society. It's especially confusing considering the other merfolk other than Leonel are literal gods, so why do they fear to reveal their existence? This trope could work, but it doesn't in this story.
Themes and prose: 0/10
None so far. Cliché use of tropes, especially the "haters to lovers" trope. I physically winced when Isaura revealed that her rooting motivation was her inability to have children. I'm SO tired of this trope.
Reading this story is like spotting a delicious, shiny bowl of strawberries and raspberries on your counter, grabbing a ripe berry, anticipating the explosion of sweet flavor, but quickly realizing that the fruit is just a ceramic decoration. So disappointing!
⚠️ Spoilers below ⚠️
Character development: ★☆☆☆☆
Two-dimensional, wooden characters. Leonel's mommy issues are almost interesting, except the writing is so reliant on bad exposition that I can't interest myself in his inner monologues.
In one scene, Isaura is brave while she floats in the water after the shipwreck. I give her credit for having a personality, but bravery is also the most-overused protagonist profile of all time. If an author is going to use this profile, they need to do it well.
Additionally, Isaura thinks her infertility renders her "broken." UGH. Although there's nothing wrong with this emotional profile in theory, it's very, very overused. In the hands of many writers, it's also sexist. I didn't get far enough into the story and I can't comment on how this author used the infertility = broken trope, but it definitely raised my hackles as soon as I saw it.
At the end of the first act, Isaura and Leonel agree that they're going to investigate the magical storms. I had a very hard time believing Isaura would do this because (1) there's nothing in it for her (no threat to her or her family, no achievement to unlock; she doesn't even like Leonel!), and (2) wouldn't she feel some residual fear from her traumatic shipwreck? She doesn't exhibit what I would consider normal emotions, and she doesn't have any reason to do the things. Contrived!
Plot: 0/10
Contrived plot and heavy reliance on bad exposition. It's all telling, no showing. I don't know how the story ended because I DNF, but the plot felt VERY predictable. Leonel and Isaura were obviously going to fall in love. There is obviously going to be some connection between the hijinks on land and sea. Leonel thinks he's the last of the merpeople, but there's also a secret locked away in the Orom Abyss. His mother tells him that under no circumstances is he allowed to visit the elephant graveyard. I wonder what it could be?? (It's probably the rest of his people, or at least the secret of why his people disappeared.)
The entire plot stems from the fact that Leonel can sense that magic causes the storms. The story states this directly without doing any work to invest the reader in the world or the stakes. Why does Leonel care about the storms? They don't appear to harm him or his seas, so why does he care? He's the "guardian," but the reader has no idea what that entails or why the storms harm the sea.
I nearly threw the book across the room when Leonel announced that he knows that magic causes the storms, and he knows there's some mysterious, malevolent force causing them. How does he know? Why don't Leonel and Isaura ever discuss the possibility that these are normal storms that normally sink ships? This major plot driver is both contrived and delivered as exposition.
World-building: 3/10
The land characters all have Scandinavian names names (e.g., Isaura Johannisdottir), and there are several references to Norse gods. In theory, combining Norse mythology and mermaid tropes is a really cool and unique idea. I would love a story like this that was well-executed.
But we never get a sense of what people eat, what they wear, how they worship. What songs do they sing, and what are the gender roles? What are their political structures like, and their economy? Their society is made up of islands and sailing is very important. Do they have a mercantile culture like the Republic of Venice, or a pillaging culture the way the English wrote about medieval Northmen? There's no world-building in this story except what is absolutely necessary.
The first moment I knew I'd probably hate this story is when Leonel thought to himself that saving Isaura would break the Blue Laws. He never explains what the Blue Laws are, nor why it serves mer society to keep merfolk and humans separate. Despite mentioning several more times that he's a bad person (bad merman?) for breaking the Blue Laws, Leonel never elaborates. It's a textbook example of contrived conflict.
I think that perhaps the author wanted to use the Blue Laws to invoke a traditional mermaid trope of keeping the societies separate. In particular, mermaids usually fear humans discovering their existence. But in this case, Leonel never explains what role the Blue Laws serve for mer society. It's especially confusing considering the other merfolk other than Leonel are literal gods, so why do they fear to reveal their existence? This trope could work, but it doesn't in this story.
Themes and prose: 0/10
None so far. Cliché use of tropes, especially the "haters to lovers" trope. I physically winced when Isaura revealed that her rooting motivation was her inability to have children. I'm SO tired of this trope.