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A review by youreadtoomuch
The Unspeakable: And Other Subjects of Discussion by Meghan Daum
1.0
Author goes on and on about very honest thoughts that should have really not been shared. In Matricide, she shares a complete lack of care for a dying mother that while understandable feels a bit too personal. I quite enjoyed this section. In The Best Possible Experience, the overall sentiment was "we get it, you dated lots of strange and totally-not-your-type men." I definitely felt that little bit where sometimes you just end up riding in the backseat of your car. The circumstances to lead up to that... definitely relatable, I feel like if I never have a moment like that one in my life, I'd have lived an incomplete life. Not What It Used to Be felt like a piece of my own life I will eventually share when I'm older and reflecting on the good old times or just the past and things not being what they used to be. This essay seems a bit blurred from the others.
Honorary Dyke, where to begin with this one? I was so enraged and I rolled my eyes too many times to count. I actually read this chapter aloud and my sister joined me in the deep eye-rolls and laughter – not because anything she wrote was funny but because where does she find it in herself to actually share this story? 1. It is absolutely fine to dress "butch." There is nothing wrong, it's a style that's easily manageable but it rubbed me entirely wrong her using the term butch. The term "aspirational lesbian" just feels so wrong. To use terms that the LGBT+ community has worked so hard to reclaim and to remove its stereotypical implications is disgusting on a straight woman. A straight woman may I add, that gets off on shouting in between every paragraph that she is not a lesbian. She loves men. Will always only love men. We get it Meghan, you are a heterosexual. 2. The fact that she is so confident in her heterosexuality yet does nothing to let the lesbians she so easily befriends know to assimilate and be undercover, so to speak, is nothing worth noting as honorable or courageous or inspiring. You can like lesbians, just don't lead them on as she's done and has shown us she has done before. 3. You cannot use the word dyke!! You are not a dyke no matter how well you fit in because of your looks. You do not have the right to do so. Maybe I am young and maybe times have definitely changed but in the climate that you've released this book, people still felt strongly enough against slurs like "dyke" and you should have been more careful throwing this word around. Last note, stop using LGBT+ cultural identities as an aesthetic/style. Go ahead and dress more masculine but don't parade yourself as an honorary dyke or as butch without knowing the intents and history behind those words. We are not a trend.
Difference Maker: She doesn't want kids but after spending some time mentoring, quite badly and ineffectually, she decides maybe they can try to adopt. The group they meet is quite serious about adoption while they sound like, "Well, we had a dog once so I guess a child wouldn't be that different." As a use of distraction or just because it's the thing to do, parenting isn't just the thing to do. Again her attitude toward becoming a parent is embarrassing and understandable but none of her actions show any inclination that she genuinely wants a child. Understanding of her own matriarchal line and her own struggles with becoming a parent aside, her disgust and ambivalence towards having a child is too obvious to even take the whole chapter seriously.
The whole Joni Mitchell Problem? I don't know who Joni Mitchell is, I didn't understand the problem though I think she explains it several times. It just doesn't click with me; I do not connect to her here in any way. It's beautiful to read her meeting with Joni herself but that's about the only things that sticks out. The Dog Exception, I don't like dogs the same way she will block people for sharing anything cute that isn't a dog. But I can understand the sentiment of losing a beloved pet. On Not Being a Foodie, oh boy, she does not like to have fun. But hey, this chapter has so much to say about taking advantage of your comfort zone and not leaving it. Might just try something new within my comfort zone for fun.
Invisible City resonates deeply with me being from Los Angeles myself. This city is alive and so bountiful in the ability to deceive and hide, how can you not love LA? But on the other hand, coming from the more impoverished and a community of minority, this chapter felt like an ode to an idealized LA that doesn't take in the harsh realities taking place in the deep pockets of poverty in the city. Again, I know this is her story but it fell on deaf ears. Lastly, Diary of a Coma is terrifying and so honest that I cannot speak on it. It is not my place at all.
Reading all the reviews on the back of the book I asked myself, "Where the hell is she funny?" Absolutely nothing in this book made me laugh. Except for the bit about being an honorary dyke, the audacity of this woman... But honestly where? I actually debated just not reading the book at all. Unfortunately, I paid for this book and the bookstore does not do refunds. I can't believe I paid money for a book I hated so much. This has been my lowest point in 2018.
Meghan, if you ever read this review, would love to be a fan. I think your writing in the LA Times are more my style but hey do you!
Honorary Dyke, where to begin with this one? I was so enraged and I rolled my eyes too many times to count. I actually read this chapter aloud and my sister joined me in the deep eye-rolls and laughter – not because anything she wrote was funny but because where does she find it in herself to actually share this story? 1. It is absolutely fine to dress "butch." There is nothing wrong, it's a style that's easily manageable but it rubbed me entirely wrong her using the term butch. The term "aspirational lesbian" just feels so wrong. To use terms that the LGBT+ community has worked so hard to reclaim and to remove its stereotypical implications is disgusting on a straight woman. A straight woman may I add, that gets off on shouting in between every paragraph that she is not a lesbian. She loves men. Will always only love men. We get it Meghan, you are a heterosexual. 2. The fact that she is so confident in her heterosexuality yet does nothing to let the lesbians she so easily befriends know to assimilate and be undercover, so to speak, is nothing worth noting as honorable or courageous or inspiring. You can like lesbians, just don't lead them on as she's done and has shown us she has done before. 3. You cannot use the word dyke!! You are not a dyke no matter how well you fit in because of your looks. You do not have the right to do so. Maybe I am young and maybe times have definitely changed but in the climate that you've released this book, people still felt strongly enough against slurs like "dyke" and you should have been more careful throwing this word around. Last note, stop using LGBT+ cultural identities as an aesthetic/style. Go ahead and dress more masculine but don't parade yourself as an honorary dyke or as butch without knowing the intents and history behind those words. We are not a trend.
Difference Maker: She doesn't want kids but after spending some time mentoring, quite badly and ineffectually, she decides maybe they can try to adopt. The group they meet is quite serious about adoption while they sound like, "Well, we had a dog once so I guess a child wouldn't be that different." As a use of distraction or just because it's the thing to do, parenting isn't just the thing to do. Again her attitude toward becoming a parent is embarrassing and understandable but none of her actions show any inclination that she genuinely wants a child. Understanding of her own matriarchal line and her own struggles with becoming a parent aside, her disgust and ambivalence towards having a child is too obvious to even take the whole chapter seriously.
The whole Joni Mitchell Problem? I don't know who Joni Mitchell is, I didn't understand the problem though I think she explains it several times. It just doesn't click with me; I do not connect to her here in any way. It's beautiful to read her meeting with Joni herself but that's about the only things that sticks out. The Dog Exception, I don't like dogs the same way she will block people for sharing anything cute that isn't a dog. But I can understand the sentiment of losing a beloved pet. On Not Being a Foodie, oh boy, she does not like to have fun. But hey, this chapter has so much to say about taking advantage of your comfort zone and not leaving it. Might just try something new within my comfort zone for fun.
Invisible City resonates deeply with me being from Los Angeles myself. This city is alive and so bountiful in the ability to deceive and hide, how can you not love LA? But on the other hand, coming from the more impoverished and a community of minority, this chapter felt like an ode to an idealized LA that doesn't take in the harsh realities taking place in the deep pockets of poverty in the city. Again, I know this is her story but it fell on deaf ears. Lastly, Diary of a Coma is terrifying and so honest that I cannot speak on it. It is not my place at all.
Reading all the reviews on the back of the book I asked myself, "Where the hell is she funny?" Absolutely nothing in this book made me laugh. Except for the bit about being an honorary dyke, the audacity of this woman... But honestly where? I actually debated just not reading the book at all. Unfortunately, I paid for this book and the bookstore does not do refunds. I can't believe I paid money for a book I hated so much. This has been my lowest point in 2018.
Meghan, if you ever read this review, would love to be a fan. I think your writing in the LA Times are more my style but hey do you!