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A review by abbieday01
After We Collided by Anna Todd
3.0
Yep.....I read it.....yep...I will refer you to my review of After. YES may be a total spoiler. Reader should check for trigger warnings!
Book two of the saga of dysfunction. Can you stand anymore up and down? I guess those of us who read this entire series want to be on a roller coaster of emotions! Extreme highs....oh this might be it, he might change, she might change, love might overcome. Extreme Lows! Surprise....stupid words, lies, manipulations, anger, fighting, ultimate breaking and shattering....agony of heart on both sides.
Fighting inner demons yet always coming up on the losing end. Deciding that a person can push through without actually dealing with and facing trauma - well, I can tell you that is NEVER a good idea.
I don't know.....Anna Todd you did a great job writing, please don't take my reviews as a negative to your authorship!! This author, in fact has so excellently portrayed a very real dynamic in relationships that I have to give her props. She explores themes and thoughts that before this time were taboo to discuss. I would venture to say that Todd further explores the victim/abuser dynamic in such a real raw way that people will most certainly understand how a person stays in a situation that is clearly unhealthy. It is very real that victim's are attached to and actually love their abusers and therefore can not, out of duty and love and the idea that they are the help the other needs, leave the person.
I'm a mom. Of daughters and sons (5 of each). I am older. I am a victim of childhood trauma. I have seen this very relationship played out in people I know. I hold a degree in counseling and human services, I have sat with women in this situation. I can tell you do NOT want a relationship like this. You can't help but feel for Hardin - even my empathic self felt my maternal instincts and nurturing nature want to see him heal and be healthy. I mean honestly - I see the draw. I am a fixer by nature. Because I was abused and the the fixer, protector of younger siblings I get it. I was always drawn (and still am) to the broken. But like I tell my daughters, I now have the wisdom (age and experience) and training (in my degree set, and other programs I have gone through) to help without being dragged under (and it's not a love situation like Tessa and Hardin).
So I suppose - thanks is due to this author for addressing issues that are otherwise hard to address in such a raw and honest way. Thanks for exposing the intricacies of this situation. Thanks for showing what it really looks like. But with this a warning: DO NOT make abuse romantic - it's not! NO amount of apology or your love is worth what is happening. And COME ON - don't you see by now that this is a cycle....it may lengthen in time between the highs and lows but until someone seriously sets boundaries, draws lines and gets some serious help this is NEVER going to work...>Lord help the children who come along....for family and friends that become collateral damage.
Book two of the saga of dysfunction. Can you stand anymore up and down? I guess those of us who read this entire series want to be on a roller coaster of emotions! Extreme highs....oh this might be it, he might change, she might change, love might overcome. Extreme Lows! Surprise....stupid words, lies, manipulations, anger, fighting, ultimate breaking and shattering....agony of heart on both sides.
Fighting inner demons yet always coming up on the losing end. Deciding that a person can push through without actually dealing with and facing trauma - well, I can tell you that is NEVER a good idea.
I don't know.....Anna Todd you did a great job writing, please don't take my reviews as a negative to your authorship!! This author, in fact has so excellently portrayed a very real dynamic in relationships that I have to give her props. She explores themes and thoughts that before this time were taboo to discuss. I would venture to say that Todd further explores the victim/abuser dynamic in such a real raw way that people will most certainly understand how a person stays in a situation that is clearly unhealthy. It is very real that victim's are attached to and actually love their abusers and therefore can not, out of duty and love and the idea that they are the help the other needs, leave the person.
I'm a mom. Of daughters and sons (5 of each). I am older. I am a victim of childhood trauma. I have seen this very relationship played out in people I know. I hold a degree in counseling and human services, I have sat with women in this situation. I can tell you do NOT want a relationship like this. You can't help but feel for Hardin - even my empathic self felt my maternal instincts and nurturing nature want to see him heal and be healthy. I mean honestly - I see the draw. I am a fixer by nature. Because I was abused and the the fixer, protector of younger siblings I get it. I was always drawn (and still am) to the broken. But like I tell my daughters, I now have the wisdom (age and experience) and training (in my degree set, and other programs I have gone through) to help without being dragged under (and it's not a love situation like Tessa and Hardin).
So I suppose - thanks is due to this author for addressing issues that are otherwise hard to address in such a raw and honest way. Thanks for exposing the intricacies of this situation. Thanks for showing what it really looks like. But with this a warning: DO NOT make abuse romantic - it's not! NO amount of apology or your love is worth what is happening. And COME ON - don't you see by now that this is a cycle....it may lengthen in time between the highs and lows but until someone seriously sets boundaries, draws lines and gets some serious help this is NEVER going to work...>Lord help the children who come along....for family and friends that become collateral damage.