A review by reesiereads
Harmonic Feedback by Tara Kelly
5.0
Okay, this might be more of a 4 star read but this book touched me on a personal level, so I am perhaps a bit biased with my 5 stars.
I've never read a book from the PoV of a teenager (in this case, a girl) on the autism spectrum. As the parent of a teen boy with autism this really cut close to home. I couldn't help wondering if my son ever feels like Drea felt when it comes to social cues, socializing in general, feeling like a freak for being a little different and for not knowing how to express herself without feeling like people would think she's a freak, and so on. I am always trying to explain to him how to make other people feel comforted or how people like it when you express an interest in them, it makes them feel good and liked. It is hard for him to grasp that sometimes, but I know at the same time he feels the same way. He just wants to be liked. I wonder what my constant reminders and feeling-seeking do to him, does he get annoyed that I just want him to make friends and feel good around people? I hope not. It's hard enough to be a parent, but to parent a child with special needs can be a heart-breaking challenge.
Small talk and hidden meanings have no place in an autistic person's life. Why can't people just say what they mean?, Drea would like to know. You know what? I wonder the same thing sometimes and as far as I know, I'm not on the spectrum. I just find small talk to be a complete waste of time. I hate putting on a fake smile or apologizing for things I don't feel sorry for. Why should these kids with autism apologize for making someone else feel uncomfortable when they're just being themselves? Why do kids with autism have to explain their behavior away, as if to say, "Oh, I don't mean to be rude, it's just that my brain processes these things differently from yours. I'm sorry for not being what society expects me to be", and so on.
Anyway, I found Drea to be a sweet girl who is trying to figure out her way in the world, when it's hard enough to be a teenager but to deal with autism (and in her case, ADHD) on top of that. I choked up reading this book so many times, feeling for Drea and her awkwardness, or when she felt foolish because she thought people were thinking about what a freak she must be. I could not stop putting my son in her place and hoping that when he goes to high school, he won't have a lot of trouble making friends or that he won't feel ashamed of being himself.
I would love it if this book is required reading in high school, as a way to educate teenagers on something they may not really understand. It could help them empathize more with their fellow classmates who have ADHD or autism, etc.
There is a scene in this book where Drea's grandmother complains that Drea is a brat who doesn't want to vacuum because she is spoiled and lazy. The author did a great job of allowing us to know what was going on in Drea's head, how it made her entire body feel when she heard the loud noises coming from the vacuum. I wish more people would learn about autism and realize that kids who have sensory issues aren't spoiled brats, their brains are just wired different! A vacuum might not bother you but it bothers kids like Drea and my son. They don't complain about the vacuum to get out of doing housework, they get over-stimulated and are unable to process the way the noise makes them feel.
In the author's notes, Tara Kelly writes of herself having ADHD and her brother having autism. She wrote that at the time, her brother was in college dealing with what your typical college student deals with -- finding a job! I often wonder what my son will be like as an adult. Will he become independent, like Tara Kelly's brother? Will he go to college? Sometimes it feels like he will rely on his father and myself for constant reminders on how to do this or how to remember that. It's a very scary thought, the idea of sending him out into the world when he becomes an adult.
I've never read a book from the PoV of a teenager (in this case, a girl) on the autism spectrum. As the parent of a teen boy with autism this really cut close to home. I couldn't help wondering if my son ever feels like Drea felt when it comes to social cues, socializing in general, feeling like a freak for being a little different and for not knowing how to express herself without feeling like people would think she's a freak, and so on. I am always trying to explain to him how to make other people feel comforted or how people like it when you express an interest in them, it makes them feel good and liked. It is hard for him to grasp that sometimes, but I know at the same time he feels the same way. He just wants to be liked. I wonder what my constant reminders and feeling-seeking do to him, does he get annoyed that I just want him to make friends and feel good around people? I hope not. It's hard enough to be a parent, but to parent a child with special needs can be a heart-breaking challenge.
Small talk and hidden meanings have no place in an autistic person's life. Why can't people just say what they mean?, Drea would like to know. You know what? I wonder the same thing sometimes and as far as I know, I'm not on the spectrum. I just find small talk to be a complete waste of time. I hate putting on a fake smile or apologizing for things I don't feel sorry for. Why should these kids with autism apologize for making someone else feel uncomfortable when they're just being themselves? Why do kids with autism have to explain their behavior away, as if to say, "Oh, I don't mean to be rude, it's just that my brain processes these things differently from yours. I'm sorry for not being what society expects me to be", and so on.
Anyway, I found Drea to be a sweet girl who is trying to figure out her way in the world, when it's hard enough to be a teenager but to deal with autism (and in her case, ADHD) on top of that. I choked up reading this book so many times, feeling for Drea and her awkwardness, or when she felt foolish because she thought people were thinking about what a freak she must be. I could not stop putting my son in her place and hoping that when he goes to high school, he won't have a lot of trouble making friends or that he won't feel ashamed of being himself.
I would love it if this book is required reading in high school, as a way to educate teenagers on something they may not really understand. It could help them empathize more with their fellow classmates who have ADHD or autism, etc.
There is a scene in this book where Drea's grandmother complains that Drea is a brat who doesn't want to vacuum because she is spoiled and lazy. The author did a great job of allowing us to know what was going on in Drea's head, how it made her entire body feel when she heard the loud noises coming from the vacuum. I wish more people would learn about autism and realize that kids who have sensory issues aren't spoiled brats, their brains are just wired different! A vacuum might not bother you but it bothers kids like Drea and my son. They don't complain about the vacuum to get out of doing housework, they get over-stimulated and are unable to process the way the noise makes them feel.
In the author's notes, Tara Kelly writes of herself having ADHD and her brother having autism. She wrote that at the time, her brother was in college dealing with what your typical college student deals with -- finding a job! I often wonder what my son will be like as an adult. Will he become independent, like Tara Kelly's brother? Will he go to college? Sometimes it feels like he will rely on his father and myself for constant reminders on how to do this or how to remember that. It's a very scary thought, the idea of sending him out into the world when he becomes an adult.