A review by shelfimprovement
After Birth, by Elisa Albert
4.0
I’ve never had a baby and I don’t plan on having one. For lots of reasons, some of which are echoed in this book. I have been depressed, though. I’ve been sad, angry, frustrated, and irritable for no other reason than because my brain hates me and that is definitely something that Elise Albert nails. When you are depressed, all logic and rational reasoning goes out the window in favor of negative beliefs and worries that serve to reinforce your depression.
I’ve read many negative reviews of this book that were kind of shocking in their lack of empathy. I get that not everyone likes to read about characters who are depressed or wants to read about characters that are depressed, but when it comes to topics like postpartum depression awareness and empathy are some of the best weapons at our disposal. Comments like “motherhood isn’t that bad, stop complaining” demonstrate how badly we need to have representations of what is a very serious problem that many new mothers struggle with.
So, yeah, this is a decidedly uncheery look at new motherhood through the eyes of Ari, who has struggled with depression throughout her life. In prose reminiscent of Virginia Woolf, Albert describes the ways Ari struggles throughout her first year of being a mom. She also highlights the ways in which Ari has always struggled to find and maintain female friendships, which is a factor that compounds her postpartum depression. The fact that Ari lost her mother as a teen and the fact that she has so few female friends in her life means that she doesn’t have a strong female support system that can guide her through that first year. Feeling like she can't relate to other women isolates her, which only exacerbates her depression.
Over the course of the book, Ari befriends another new mother struggling with depression and she learns how she can become that support system for others. In that regard, the book is very encouraging. It is not particularly plot heavy or linear (that Woolf influence). The tone is fairly bleak and at times crass. It is by no means a pleasant read, but it’s well-written and phenomenally honest. The negative self-talk, the difficulty relating to others, the sense of hopelessness that comes with depression – whether postpartum or not – all rings so very true to me even though I’m not a mother.
I’ve read many negative reviews of this book that were kind of shocking in their lack of empathy. I get that not everyone likes to read about characters who are depressed or wants to read about characters that are depressed, but when it comes to topics like postpartum depression awareness and empathy are some of the best weapons at our disposal. Comments like “motherhood isn’t that bad, stop complaining” demonstrate how badly we need to have representations of what is a very serious problem that many new mothers struggle with.
So, yeah, this is a decidedly uncheery look at new motherhood through the eyes of Ari, who has struggled with depression throughout her life. In prose reminiscent of Virginia Woolf, Albert describes the ways Ari struggles throughout her first year of being a mom. She also highlights the ways in which Ari has always struggled to find and maintain female friendships, which is a factor that compounds her postpartum depression. The fact that Ari lost her mother as a teen and the fact that she has so few female friends in her life means that she doesn’t have a strong female support system that can guide her through that first year. Feeling like she can't relate to other women isolates her, which only exacerbates her depression.
Over the course of the book, Ari befriends another new mother struggling with depression and she learns how she can become that support system for others. In that regard, the book is very encouraging. It is not particularly plot heavy or linear (that Woolf influence). The tone is fairly bleak and at times crass. It is by no means a pleasant read, but it’s well-written and phenomenally honest. The negative self-talk, the difficulty relating to others, the sense of hopelessness that comes with depression – whether postpartum or not – all rings so very true to me even though I’m not a mother.