A review by princesszinza
I Have Been Buried Under Years of Dust: A Memoir of Autism and Hope by Valerie Gilpeer, Emily Grodin
2.0
I read this book because of a recommendation from Amazon. I was happy to find it as a digital download from the library.
I started reading with great interest since Emily is around the same age as my daughter. Much of Valerie's beginning search was so familiar to me. The top doctors and treatments were the same I read about when my daughter was young. The difference is that I didn't have the means to seek out these doctors or treatments that Valerie was able to.
When my child was very young I tried doing the ABA program myself. I could not afford any help. I found it to be too structured and tedious for a small child. It almost felt cruel. The program didn't seem like it was working either. I felt guilty for giving up on it at the time. Now, I feel that it is aimed at making the child "normal", which is of course not possible or desirable. So I agree with Valerie about ABA but for different reasons.
Valerie also mentioned how isolating having a child with autism is. She said that family and friends tend to distance themselves. Her family became a singular unit dealing with the diagnosis. I have also found this to be true.
Valerie's insights about the early years of Emily's schooling also rang true to me. Yes, often times the more inclusive, kind kids are from lower means. Wealthy kids often behave in a more entitled, snarky way.
It's also true that mainstreaming is not always what it's made out to be to parents. It can be awesome with the right teacher, but sadly many teachers don't want to take on the added responsibility. It's better for the child to be with a teacher trained in autism who understands the child in a small classroom with trained aides for support, than having a child in a large mainstream classroom neglected in a seat in the back.
Every kid with autism is different and has their own needs. No school program is perfect. Most schools do try to place children in the best programs. My feeling is that if the parents are involved and caring, and explore the best options, things will work out.
Working out doesn't mean your child will be cured. There's no magic with developmental disabilities. Amazing improvement happens. My child made tremendous strides. Greater than anyone ever imagined. But there is no cure or magic.
This brings me to my concerns about this book. I believe in science. Science does not support Facilitated Communication. I've watched Sue Rubin's movie "Autism is a World". I read Carly Fleischman's father's book and seen her videos. I have not seen anything that convinces me of the merits of FC.
Valerie mentions her concerns and is up front about other people's doubts about FC. I appreciate her honesty in mentioning the controversy. I will not dismiss something that she believes helps Emily. At the same time I'd warn anyone who wishes to try FC to be very careful.
Not everyone is going to be a scholar or a poet. Love your child for who they are. Accept them for who they are. Being a parent is a gift.
I started reading with great interest since Emily is around the same age as my daughter. Much of Valerie's beginning search was so familiar to me. The top doctors and treatments were the same I read about when my daughter was young. The difference is that I didn't have the means to seek out these doctors or treatments that Valerie was able to.
When my child was very young I tried doing the ABA program myself. I could not afford any help. I found it to be too structured and tedious for a small child. It almost felt cruel. The program didn't seem like it was working either. I felt guilty for giving up on it at the time. Now, I feel that it is aimed at making the child "normal", which is of course not possible or desirable. So I agree with Valerie about ABA but for different reasons.
Valerie also mentioned how isolating having a child with autism is. She said that family and friends tend to distance themselves. Her family became a singular unit dealing with the diagnosis. I have also found this to be true.
Valerie's insights about the early years of Emily's schooling also rang true to me. Yes, often times the more inclusive, kind kids are from lower means. Wealthy kids often behave in a more entitled, snarky way.
It's also true that mainstreaming is not always what it's made out to be to parents. It can be awesome with the right teacher, but sadly many teachers don't want to take on the added responsibility. It's better for the child to be with a teacher trained in autism who understands the child in a small classroom with trained aides for support, than having a child in a large mainstream classroom neglected in a seat in the back.
Every kid with autism is different and has their own needs. No school program is perfect. Most schools do try to place children in the best programs. My feeling is that if the parents are involved and caring, and explore the best options, things will work out.
Working out doesn't mean your child will be cured. There's no magic with developmental disabilities. Amazing improvement happens. My child made tremendous strides. Greater than anyone ever imagined. But there is no cure or magic.
This brings me to my concerns about this book. I believe in science. Science does not support Facilitated Communication. I've watched Sue Rubin's movie "Autism is a World". I read Carly Fleischman's father's book and seen her videos. I have not seen anything that convinces me of the merits of FC.
Valerie mentions her concerns and is up front about other people's doubts about FC. I appreciate her honesty in mentioning the controversy. I will not dismiss something that she believes helps Emily. At the same time I'd warn anyone who wishes to try FC to be very careful.
Not everyone is going to be a scholar or a poet. Love your child for who they are. Accept them for who they are. Being a parent is a gift.