A review by yanners
The Desolations of Devil's Acre by Ransom Riggs
1.0
I’ve tried.
I’ve humbly and magnanimously tried to like it and I’ve officially tired. My patience has expired and so has my expectations.
Which brings me here. A marathon to end all sagas. That’s right it’s day 6 with Jacob whose power activates in the weirdest ways. Just when everyone thinks they are about to die, Mr Kool-aid loses consciousness and wakes up to find himself as the newly-minted commander of a 34-pax hollow squadron.
Speaking of which I need clarifications on how many hollows there are. The point being that if they were ‘birthed’ from the whole 1908 experiment hullabaloo and if the defenders-of-perculiardom-living-like-cowards-cause has reportedly slaughtered like at least hundreds from every single trespassing-into-wight-territory they should’ve been wiped out by now.
But no.
Every chapter I see like new hollows just popping out from nowhere like their being manufactured in some automated factory in some district of China. And when I say neverending it literally is neverending. Like Jacob-kills-one-every-page-but-two-more-replaces-it-neverending.
What’s more, NO ONE DIES. (scowls furiously)
Is it really that much to ask for deaths?
It’s like Jacob and his inner-circle gang is immortal and invincible because all of them has survived and like the worst mishap to ever occur was Fiona getting her tongue cut out and even she was still alive and well on two legs.
BAH
What humbug. I go into the reviews section where people are talking about how sad the ending was and I had my hopes so high thinking Jacob would finally die but no. Once again he survives. And so does everyone.
Even Miss Avocet’s death was like old age and it was so last-minute I feel like it was just inserted for good measure for sadists like me to be pacified.
I’m not.
The only thing I enjoyed was watching Noor be all self-deprecating and blaming herself for everything that transpired because YES GIRL ITS YOUR FAULT OWN UP and it’s fun watching her squirm because she wouldn’t know if everyone would die because of her.
As usual, Emma, our resident hypocrite (really channeling all my hate here) has begun to fade into the background as her relationship with Jacob takes a backseat. In fact, miss drama has gotten dull enough that Mr protagonist begins eyeing other contenders.
I had a sudden, wild urge to kiss her.
HMMMM I WONDER WHO. (A certain light eater uh-huh)
And just in case there are some people who staunchly support Emma I have evidence:
Emma sniffed and wiped angrily at her tears. “I’m so tired of fighting,” she said.
Wow what a show. Says the girl who literally was like ‘I’m so hyped and glad we can go on adventures because I can finally live life on the edge after a century of being a passive carbon footprint doing nothing with my life’.
Well what a tragedy it was when Miss girl realised that life doesn’t go as she wish and she could be strangled by slimey elastic tongues at any moment.
There are many other plot holes like how Miss Babax suddenly ‘smuggled’ a double agent in and no one knew (what’s more she could’ve stabbed Jacob in his sleep and no one would know but sure, just beat around the bush and get that unnecessary 15 chapter extension in) but it’s alright.
Welcome to the end of me throwing all my pent-up outrage for the past two days at you. 1.5 stars
Tl;dr
If you value a few hours of your life don’t read it
I’ve humbly and magnanimously tried to like it and I’ve officially tired. My patience has expired and so has my expectations.
Which brings me here. A marathon to end all sagas. That’s right it’s day 6 with Jacob whose power activates in the weirdest ways. Just when everyone thinks they are about to die, Mr Kool-aid loses consciousness and wakes up to find himself as the newly-minted commander of a 34-pax hollow squadron.
Speaking of which I need clarifications on how many hollows there are. The point being that if they were ‘birthed’ from the whole 1908 experiment hullabaloo and if the defenders-of-perculiardom-living-like-cowards-cause has reportedly slaughtered like at least hundreds from every single trespassing-into-wight-territory they should’ve been wiped out by now.
But no.
Every chapter I see like new hollows just popping out from nowhere like their being manufactured in some automated factory in some district of China. And when I say neverending it literally is neverending. Like Jacob-kills-one-every-page-but-two-more-replaces-it-neverending.
What’s more, NO ONE DIES. (scowls furiously)
Is it really that much to ask for deaths?
It’s like Jacob and his inner-circle gang is immortal and invincible because all of them has survived and like the worst mishap to ever occur was Fiona getting her tongue cut out and even she was still alive and well on two legs.
BAH
What humbug. I go into the reviews section where people are talking about how sad the ending was and I had my hopes so high thinking Jacob would finally die but no. Once again he survives. And so does everyone.
Even Miss Avocet’s death was like old age and it was so last-minute I feel like it was just inserted for good measure for sadists like me to be pacified.
I’m not.
The only thing I enjoyed was watching Noor be all self-deprecating and blaming herself for everything that transpired because YES GIRL ITS YOUR FAULT OWN UP and it’s fun watching her squirm because she wouldn’t know if everyone would die because of her.
As usual, Emma, our resident hypocrite (really channeling all my hate here) has begun to fade into the background as her relationship with Jacob takes a backseat. In fact, miss drama has gotten dull enough that Mr protagonist begins eyeing other contenders.
I had a sudden, wild urge to kiss her.
HMMMM I WONDER WHO. (A certain light eater uh-huh)
And just in case there are some people who staunchly support Emma I have evidence:
Emma sniffed and wiped angrily at her tears. “I’m so tired of fighting,” she said.
Wow what a show. Says the girl who literally was like ‘I’m so hyped and glad we can go on adventures because I can finally live life on the edge after a century of being a passive carbon footprint doing nothing with my life’.
Well what a tragedy it was when Miss girl realised that life doesn’t go as she wish and she could be strangled by slimey elastic tongues at any moment.
There are many other plot holes like how Miss Babax suddenly ‘smuggled’ a double agent in and no one knew (what’s more she could’ve stabbed Jacob in his sleep and no one would know but sure, just beat around the bush and get that unnecessary 15 chapter extension in) but it’s alright.
Welcome to the end of me throwing all my pent-up outrage for the past two days at you. 1.5 stars
Tl;dr
If you value a few hours of your life don’t read it