A review by readlentless
This Is How You Lose the Time War by Max Gladstone, Amal El-Mohtar

challenging emotional mysterious sad tense medium-paced

5.0

 i added this to my tbr during pandemic and i unconsciously avoided it ever since. it sounded like a tedious (yes, it quite is) read and it intimidated me. but wth the wait was worth it. i might have shed a tear or two bc of these two mfs.

it's essentially sapphic/wlw romance poetry with scifi as a backdrop. red and blue are two of the best agents from opposing sides— the agency and the garden. they came from the future and their purpose is to alter history in any means for the benefit of their worlds. in red's world technology is fast. i imagine it as cyberpunk kinda vibe. they face problems head-on with their advanced tools. in blue's side, however, they fight a long and slow battle like planting seeds. their side is kinda botanical (hence, the "garden"). 

these two are doing what they best do— winning wars, changing and influencing history by jumping through dimensions they called "strands". their work suddenly got boring bc it's all the same shiet, until the moment blue made contact with red. this contact would literally end their lives if their superiors found out. so they started sending letters in such unconventional ways— on boiling water, on tin foils, inside the bark of a tree, on seeds, and the lava?? y'all boyfriends could never. basically showing off, goofing around, and taunting each other. and well... surprise, surprise, they started to fall in love.

oh my gods, i can't describe the emotional turmoil that they put me through.

the first half of the book i was like, "WTF is going on??? this is kinda borderline pretentious, should i continue... but then the second they felt that spark, the atmosphere of the prose changed. it became more sincere and just... lovely. you have to brave the first half bc the second half was worth it. take the words as they are, do not attempt to rationalize everything. if you're the type of person who likes structured books and logical reasons then this one is not for you. this book is for the romantics. para sa mga ldr charot they really said, "hinding-hindi ipagpapalit sa malapit..."

damn their confessions and unyielding love for each other. damn the pain, the torment, and all that suffering just to be with each other. if i could sniff the words in this book, i would. ang ganda, pota. if di talaga ganito yung love e huwag na lang jk

and the ending?? omg, i was levitating. i will certainly reread this novella soon and experience everything once again.

--

here are some of the "shorter" quotes to entice you : )

"Red, when I think of this seed in your mouth I imagine having placed it there myself, my fingers on your lips."

"I'll be all the poets, I'll kill them all and take each one's place in turn, and every time love's written in all the strands it will be to you."

"I would have fought you forever. I would have wrestled you through time. I would have turned you, and been turned."

"I want to meet you in every place I ever loved. Listen to me. I am your echo. I would rather break the world than lose you."

"I love you. I love you. I love you. I'll write it in waves. In skies. In my heart. You'll never see, but you will know. I'll be all the poets, I'll kill them all and take each one's place in turn, and every time love's written in all the strands it will be to you."

"At the end as at the start, and through all the in-betweens, I love you."