A review by catbewks
Highly Illogical Behavior by John Corey Whaley
5.0
Every number had an image attached to it. He saw himself standing at the back door, looking out at a brand-new pool, his parents beside him. And then he saw the looks of disappointment on their faces when they realized he was frozen in place and that it had all been for nothing.
When he got to one hundred, he sat back up and closed his laptop. He needed a break. He couldn't think about the pool anymore. He couldn't think about what the pool meant, to him or to them. He couldn't do anything but go to the garage, lie on the cold cement floor, and close his eyes again.
The panic attacks drained him, like he'd just ran a marathon, so it always took him a little while to recover. So he lay there in the dark without them ever knowing he wasn't okay. Because he'd learned a long time ago that the better they thought he was, the longer he could live this way.
When he got to one hundred, he sat back up and closed his laptop. He needed a break. He couldn't think about the pool anymore. He couldn't think about what the pool meant, to him or to them. He couldn't do anything but go to the garage, lie on the cold cement floor, and close his eyes again.
The panic attacks drained him, like he'd just ran a marathon, so it always took him a little while to recover. So he lay there in the dark without them ever knowing he wasn't okay. Because he'd learned a long time ago that the better they thought he was, the longer he could live this way.