A review by jcstokes95
What We Don't Talk About When We Talk about Fat by Aubrey Gordon
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
medium-paced
5.0
A book like this does not exist yet, and I think in 50 years, when we have finally begun to truly confront the reality of anti-fat bias, this will be the classic we look to. When I heard the anonymous, radical writer of Your Fat Friend on Medium had revealed her identity and published a book, I pre-ordered it immediately. I salivated waiting for it to arrive, and when I got it, I kept it on my shelf for two years. Because I realized it would be one of the most triggering reading experiences of my life (correct). This book though, it’s so necessary and so radical, I just want to tell everyone to read it. But I’m nervous to even review it for all the reasons it says I will be.
Gordon’s experiences throughout this book constantly reflected my own life experiences. This was nauseating because it meant remember all the screaming out of cars at me, all my anxious feelings toward dating, experiences that led me there, all the coworker questions about food, every garbage medical experience and denial of care. I had to think about all the ways I have learned to protect myself because Gordon’s own stories were reflecting that back to me. Then I thought, there is no way any thin person it going to ever get any understanding of these stories, because fat people are too afraid to tell them. We are disbelieved on any claim we make. Gordon gets to the heart of this issue as well.
Honestly, she’s slamming fact after fact down about how the abuse, intolerance and injustice serves to worsen fat people’s health outcomes. She’s telling you what any person on the tough side of the fucked BMI scale will tell you. There is very little about your body’s composition that you can control. If we could control it, wouldn’t we change it to avoid the harassment? Or do we really believe that over 30 percent of Americans are really into being negged by strangers?
The message here is inherent dignity. Every person, no matter their health, weight, attractiveness, ability level has inherent dignity. This is what we all need to hear. Gordon’s digging into what I have always found most fascinating about discriminators toward any group. The way the illusion of choice emboldens people to believe they have a say in other’s life and rights. (Choice was the core argument against gay marriage and continues to be the main argument against trans rights). It has always been bullshit.
I could pretty much talk about all my thoughts on this book for days. But I won’t. Because honestly, one of aforementioned self-protection practices I’ve learned is not sharing my every thought on fatness on the internet. So, where I will end it, every person should try to read this book. It is going to make you uncomfortable; you will be squirming in your chair the whole time. But maybe you will be able to begin confronting the ways you make life difficult for others without even knowing it.
Gordon’s experiences throughout this book constantly reflected my own life experiences. This was nauseating because it meant remember all the screaming out of cars at me, all my anxious feelings toward dating, experiences that led me there, all the coworker questions about food, every garbage medical experience and denial of care. I had to think about all the ways I have learned to protect myself because Gordon’s own stories were reflecting that back to me. Then I thought, there is no way any thin person it going to ever get any understanding of these stories, because fat people are too afraid to tell them. We are disbelieved on any claim we make. Gordon gets to the heart of this issue as well.
Honestly, she’s slamming fact after fact down about how the abuse, intolerance and injustice serves to worsen fat people’s health outcomes. She’s telling you what any person on the tough side of the fucked BMI scale will tell you. There is very little about your body’s composition that you can control. If we could control it, wouldn’t we change it to avoid the harassment? Or do we really believe that over 30 percent of Americans are really into being negged by strangers?
The message here is inherent dignity. Every person, no matter their health, weight, attractiveness, ability level has inherent dignity. This is what we all need to hear. Gordon’s digging into what I have always found most fascinating about discriminators toward any group. The way the illusion of choice emboldens people to believe they have a say in other’s life and rights. (Choice was the core argument against gay marriage and continues to be the main argument against trans rights). It has always been bullshit.
I could pretty much talk about all my thoughts on this book for days. But I won’t. Because honestly, one of aforementioned self-protection practices I’ve learned is not sharing my every thought on fatness on the internet. So, where I will end it, every person should try to read this book. It is going to make you uncomfortable; you will be squirming in your chair the whole time. But maybe you will be able to begin confronting the ways you make life difficult for others without even knowing it.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Fatphobia, Bullying, Sexual harassment, and Body shaming
Moderate: Rape and Medical trauma