I honestly don't think I can describe just how much I despise this book. Aside from the romanticizing of sexual abuse, the amount of absolutely unnecessary sex these characters have is bonkers. ALSO! The story switches between the main girl and her love interest's points of view- both 3 years ago and in the present. And uh, 3 years ago Ms Girl was 16. A minor. And this man even admits that "yeah she's 16 but that won't stop me." I really tried to like Michael. I really did. But he did TOO many things that are absolute no-nos. The amount of times Rika said 'no' to him but he messed with her anyway was absolutely ridiculous. Also I hate all of his friends. Kai was okay until the absolutely unnecessary threesome he has with M and R at the gentlemens club. I think why I'm mostly angry is because this story could have been so good, but no of course not. The plot was so messy, there was too much smut and not enough world building, and there was SO MUCH SEXUAL HARASSMENT/ABUSE. Red flags all around. Literally the main group of guys Rika is so desperate to be a part of went to prison for beating up a police officer, arson, and R**ING AN UNDERAGE GIRL. And the story's like, "yeah but they have abs." And then they hold so much resentment towards Rika for ratting them out that they (Michael included) burn down her house, steal all of her money, send her mom to a mental hospital so Rika can't talk to her anymore and are seconds away from r**ing her and killing her when then suddenly "oh she didn't do it? All is forgiven 🤪🙏" I am also upset at how obsessed she was with M bc he is literally such a horrible person and keeps playing games on R and only sees her as a piece of meat. Everytime he sees her he decides to mention that he got hard just seeing her and he wishes he could take off her clothes. Rika isn't that great either, tho. She's obsessive, dumb, and doesn't answer her phone toward the end when she KNOWS she's in danger, just because she's cocky and it's convenient for the plot. Also there is SO much sexual tension between her and the only other woman in this story, Alex, and when they actually do it, the scene is told through the POV of Michael watching them. Rika only did it to make M jealous and then he basically throws poor Alex out and Rika doesn't even give her a second glance. This makes me so angry because the only slightly gay scene in this entire thing was for a man's pleasure and I wish they wouldn't have even put that in there because it furthers an idea that lesbians only exist for the pleasure of men and I must say shame on Penelope Douglas. Anyway there's this completely unnecessary chapter after the epilogue of when M was 16 and R was 13 and he picked her up from practice and she was crying and she watched him kill a dog (poor thing was already dying, he just made it go faster) and she was angry and visited her dad in the cemetery and he took her home, and anyway the whole point of the chapter was to show that Rika was the one who inspired M to make his group of assholes and it was just so unnecessary. I could have lived the 20 minutes that chapter wasted from my life, but no I had to get unnecessary background at the very end. Also, I don't understand how these characters always notice the nipples getting hard? Like, as a woman I barely ever notice unless I'm freezing cold, so that's unrealistic. Also R casually mentions she likes fencing and then doesn't bring it up until the end of the book. And when she puts on the fencing uniform she mentions that "it rubs against [her] clit." LIKE GIRL GET BETTER PRIORITIES ON WHAT TO THINK ABOUT. Because THEN she gets turned on by the uniform rubbing against her that she goes and has a threesome in the bathroom. I can't make this shit up. I can't. Anyway I hate this book and I will never read it again.
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Animal cruelty, Animal death, Body shaming, Bullying, Cursing, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Hate crime, Misogyny, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, Violence, Kidnapping, Stalking, Lesbophobia, Gaslighting, Toxic friendship, Sexual harassment, and Classism