A review by jasonwalko
I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy
dark
emotional
sad
tense
fast-paced
5.0
I think this book’s reputation precedes it at this point, but this is an absolute must-read. As someone who doesn’t read nonfiction often, I had this on my radar but never sought it out, only taking notice because I watched iCarly as a kid and the title is certainly eye catching, especially if you only knew Jeanette in the context of being a child actor. Downloaded the audiobook and listened to it all in one sitting during a road trip, something that I wouldn’t recommend doing. This is a heavy read, and be warned, there are trigger warnings galore for those with eating disorders especially bulimia and anorexia, and emotional abuse. If you’re put off by the title and the cover image of Jeanette holding her mother’s urn with an indifferent smirk on her face, don’t be. This isn’t the story of a girl who hated her mother every second of her life, Jeanette in fact speaks very highly of her mother for the first 3/4ths of the book and even has great trouble admitting the full extent of her mother’s abuse until the very last moments of the narrative, long after Debra McCurdy passes away. The title isn’t indicative of the overarching narrative, it’s the conclusion Jeanette has reached after years of horrific psychological abuse, struggles with body image, and unhealthy relationships with alcohol, food, and romantic partners, problems exacerbated by her mother’s imparted “wisdom.” This isn’t a conclusion that was easy for Jeanette to reach, and I think anyone who has ever struggled with not feeling “good enough” for someone will deeply resonate with this. This is a raw, unfiltered look at recovery from the trenches of mental illness. It’s ugly, disgusting, and totally uncomfortable, but like it or not, mental illness is a part of who we are. The best we can do is live for ourselves. One person’s happiness should never come at the cost of our own, no matter what. That’s the most important takeaway here. 10/10, hope Jeanette is doing better now. She deserves all the success she’s garnered from this book.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcohol, Vomit, Terminal illness, Sexual content, Religious bigotry, Cancer, Mental illness, Fatphobia, Death of parent, Panic attacks/disorders, Eating disorder, Death, Child abuse, Alcoholism, Addiction, Physical abuse, Medical trauma, Grief, Gaslighting, and Emotional abuse