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A review by bookishwendy
Pinocchio by Carlo Collodi
3.0
What I'd give to be a fly on the wall during the meeting where Disney made the decision to adapt this weird, dark book into one of his signature whimsical confections, with most of the darkness sublimated out first, of course.
"...but the talking cricket that gets smashed with a hammer, sir?"
"No, let's give him a name, and an umbrella, and our signature song! That way, any child inspired to seek out the original book from our cartoon will be that much more traumatized."
"But book Pinocchio is pretty much a terrible person/puppet until the very very end."
"Just...toss everything and rewrite him as sweet an adorable, but naive enough to be talked into bad things, but never actually choosing that on his own."
"And what about the part where the wooden puppet gets hanged? Or turned into a circus donkey that gets thrown off a cliff?"
"..."
"And the whale?"
"YES KEEP THE WHALE ITS THE ONLY THING THAT DIDN'T GIVE ME NIGHTMARES"
"And the adorable talking snail that takes three hours to answer the door? That was hilarious! You have to keep THAT."
"Snails give me nightmares. Cut the snail."
"...but the talking cricket that gets smashed with a hammer, sir?"
"No, let's give him a name, and an umbrella, and our signature song! That way, any child inspired to seek out the original book from our cartoon will be that much more traumatized."
"But book Pinocchio is pretty much a terrible person/puppet until the very very end."
"Just...toss everything and rewrite him as sweet an adorable, but naive enough to be talked into bad things, but never actually choosing that on his own."
"And what about the part where the wooden puppet gets hanged? Or turned into a circus donkey that gets thrown off a cliff?"
"..."
"And the whale?"
"YES KEEP THE WHALE ITS THE ONLY THING THAT DIDN'T GIVE ME NIGHTMARES"
"And the adorable talking snail that takes three hours to answer the door? That was hilarious! You have to keep THAT."
"Snails give me nightmares. Cut the snail."