A review by lannklein
Never Date Your Best Friend by Jules Barnard

1.0

By the 30-minute mark, I was wishing desperately for a spontaneous case of hearing loss. I should have thrown in the towel, but I had already invested 30 minutes of my time into this, what’s a couple of hours more? Masochism takes over and I speed up the playback and listen through to the very end.

This book comes off like it was written by a 15-year-old girl who just found out what smut was and wanted to prove she can play with adults. This comes through in the writing style, the personalities of the characters, and even the voice acting.

1. How exactly would Zach and Nessa qualify as “best friends” as described in the title of the book? They know almost nothing about each other and don’t seem to socialize when their large group of friends isn’t around. Sure, they attend all the same functions and work in the same place, but so does everyone else in their group. Oh, I get it. Zach uses generic nicknames for Nessa which are based on surface characteristics which obviously means they confide in one another when they are struggling. Except for, you know, the fact that they don’t.

2. What was the point of Zach’s backstories? Why bring up ongoing sexual abuse that started when he was a minor and continues to go on without any real intention of examination or conclusion? If the author wanted to write porn without a plot, just do it, don’t use sexual abuse as a throwaway plotline.

3. Are we supposed to overlook the fact that Nessa is a sexual predator who forces her sexual advances on Zach without his consent and then manipulates his emotions to get what she wants? Let me get this straight; we are supposed to hate sexual predator Alexa, but love sexual predator Nessa? It is because Nessa is younger and closer to Zach’s age that her actions are acceptable? Is it because Zach has a preference for who is administering the abuse and manipulation? How about we hate both of the sexual abusers in this story?

4. Emily Bauer’s voice for this role sounds almost tween-like. Zachary Webber’s voice in this role is fine, but when he is voicing Alexa’s lines he comes off more like a Camp Gay troupe.

DO NOT waste your time and brain cells on this book.