A review by brennaweeks
The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness & Healing in a Toxic Culture by Gabor Maté

challenging hopeful informative inspiring medium-paced

5.0

One more I would add to the required life read! If you are a person who is constantly questioning the world around you, then this is just the book for you. 

A major life lesson for me was to, ironically, learn how to unlearn. Especially when it comes to the Christian centered conditioning that America peddles. That was my personal cross to bear, which ignited further questions that Maté not only saw but illuminated. Rather gracefully, I might add. 

Maté somehow feels like a whistleblower on how and why society became so toxic and how it was tailored to a few, not the masses. Yet how we unconsciously concede to it. He gently offers viewpoints on the patriarchy and how it affects both men & women. A delightful take I never considered. 

I have read some of the more negative reviews of this to find them rather shocking. Stating that it’s pessimistic (a viewpoint I do not share) perhaps but then the overall lingering message was lost on those. For how we view the external world is a mirror for our internalized landscape. If you are looking for quick fixes, Maté constantly reiterates how the easiest “quick fixes” (on his chapters on addiction) don’t actually cause happiness but a temporary dopamine rush that is fleeting. A metaphor for this book, you can find answers everywhere. If you are open to them. I, personally, found answers to questions I didn’t know I had. And I hope they find their answers too. 

For above all else, I feel very grateful to not only have found this book but take my time with it. 

There are many quotes that I copied into my notes, but I shall leave this one here: 

“One of Robin Williams's most beloved performances, for which he won an Academy Award, is in Good Will Hunting, where he appears in the role of a kindly psychologist tasked with helping an angry Boston janitor after the latter assaults a cop. Played by Matt Damon, this gifted man- he turns out to be an intellectual diamond in the rough - has stuffed his vulnerability underneath a layer of ossified rage and defiance. The most iconic scene from the movie features Williams's therapist getting right in Damon's face and repeating a simple but powerful statement, "It's not your fault," until the latter finally collapses, sobbing, into his embrace. That message, "It's not your fault," conveys not just undaunted compassion, for which Damon's character was starving inside, but wisdom, too. From behavioral problems to full-blown mental illness, it's not anyone's fault--nor, as we've seen, the fault of their brains or their genes. It is an expression of untended wounds, and it is meaningful.

The meaning extends beyond people's individual lives, their families of origin, and their childhoods. If we are going to address the myriad afflictions to which this book has devotedisar tention so far, we need to look through a wider lens at the bigger Story. IfI could distill my message and insert itinto that beautied cinematic moment, I would have Robin Williams look allois in the eye- including himself--and say with assurance"lt is not your fault.. and it's not personal." Its abou our hurting walk manifesting the illusions and myths of a culture alienated to 

our essence.”