A review by oceanvuongfan
See No Stranger: A Memoir and Manifesto of Revolutionary Love by Valarie Kaur

5.0

One of the beautiful things about this memoir is that Valerie’s storytelling encompasses a vast multitude of individuals—fellow peers, childhood best friends, Sikhs and Muslims, victims of hate crimes and violence, first responders to 9/11, attorneys, reporters and media, police officers, religious leaders, elected officials, professors, medical practitioners, those who’ve been incarcerated, correctional officers, domestic terrorists, right-wing nationalists, her abuser, her lover, her family—in pursuit of reflecting on, negotiating, understanding, and sharing her own personal narrative.

Kaur recounts the waves of tragedy and grief seen after 9/11, when seemingly endless acts of domestic terror were enacted unabatedly against South Asian Americans, whose dignity and humanity were stripped away overnight after the towers fell. Her memoir brings you along with her, as she travels across America, post-9/11, documenting and interviewing those who became victims of this rising hate and increasing violence.

Her work in activism and grassroots organizing ultimately results in the birth of the concept, Revolutionary Love. This is a love that allows you to forgive, frees you from hate, and affords you joy in life, no matter what circumstances you may be encountering. Revolutionary love is something Kaur witnesses time and time again, after every tragedy, after every hate crime. The victims express feelings of compassion, forgiveness, and peace, despite being overwhelmed with compounding death and loss. They pray for perpetrators of these crimes, and they express forgiveness while in the court of law. This sort of love is powerful and rooted in an empathy most of us may never truly internalize and practice but could stand to learn from.

A mantra that appears regularly throughout the book is: “You are a part of me I do not yet know.” This is to say: “I see no stranger, and I see no enemy around me. I am because you are, and you are part of what I see as ‘we’ and ‘us.’” This was my biggest takeaway as I finished each subsequent chapter of this memoir. The fear and hate of this world are rooted in lack of empathy, compassion, curiosity, care, and love. It is a radical and revolutionary thing to be able to hold these feelings for others, especially when others do not honor you in the same way. It’s far from easy, but it isn’t supposed to be.